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Monday, 30 August 2021

Dig For Victoria

This One Will Take A Bit Of Explaining

You weren't going anywhere much, were you? O splendid.  Yesteryon we were elaborating on the untimely death of Lieutenant William Niven, father of David Niven, during the late August attack on Scimitar Hill at Gallipoli (1915).

     You may - perhaps - be forgiven for not recognising the phrase to which I allude, that being "Dig For Victory!" which has ABSOLUTELY NO ENTRY in my Brewer's Dictionary* <frowns in annoyance and has recourse to teh Interwebz>.

SQUADRON SCRAMBLE!

     The phrase comes from the very darkest days of the Second Unpleasantness, when This Sceptred Isle stood alone against the Teuton tyranny, apart from Portugal, which was neutral but on our side, and Switzerland, which was neutral and dared anybody to try it on.  The Sinisters were bestest pals with the Teutons, which they HATED to be reminded about forever afterwards.  So, as an island under a variety of siege, we adopted DFV as a guiding principle, in order to reduce the amount of imports needed to feed the civilian population.  Art!

Not as exciting as a squadron scramble, but still vitally important

     Of course, as is typical here, we've spent a lot of time going on about what we're not going on about, and DFV has such 

     ANYWAY back to August 1915 and the aftermath of the Berkshire Yeomanry getting shot to bits in the bitter and protracted battle for Scimitar Hill.  Enter Trooper Fred Potts (meaning he was a cavalryman).  Fred had been seriously injured during the attack on 21/08/1915, yet not enough to prevent him from getting away under cover of darkness.  However, one of his mates, Trooper Andrews, had been more badly injured and couldn't move under his own steam. Fred stayed with him for two days until deciding they couldn't wait any longer.  To try and move upright would be an instant death sentence thanks to Turkish fire, so Fred ensconced his mate on an upturned shovel, and then used this as a kind of mini-sledge to drag him to safety in the British lines.  Art!

Sorry, no photographs

      They both made it safely back, despite those unsporting Turks shooting at them every inch of the way.  Trooper Potts earned a Victoria Cross for this action, which he lived to be given, since unfortunately a lot of these are awarded posthumously.  Art!


     Pottsy is the lad who looks about 16 here.  You can tell these are mounted troops because of their crossed bandoliers.

     Should you examine the plinth in the background of the third photo, then you will see a memorial plaque to those from the Berkshire Yeomanry who fell in this battle, which includes Lieutenant W.E.G. Niven.  Their bodies reside for the most part in Green Hill Cemetery, Gallipoli, where the Turks have taken exemplary care of them ever since - you should check out Kemal Ataturk's speech about British and Commonwealth war dead for someone really being a statesman.  Art!

Kemal being all Turkish

That Towering Infernal!

<heavy sigh> The 3D Empire State jigsaw puzzle saga continues.  As mentioned before there is no general picture to audit pieces against, only a schematic that merely shows the outlines of pieces from their un-pictured rear.  Art!


     The thing is, those schematics are WRONG.  I knew I'd gotten all the pieces for the next vertical phase, yet they simply didn't fit together when looking at the schematic plan.  Well, that's because the schematic plan was WRONG.  No wonder the previous owner gave up in disgust!  Because the supposedly guiding diagrams are WRONG!

     Did I mention WRONG yet?


Consistently Cross Conrad

I have held off from ladling scalding opprobrium** across the Codeword compilers for fear of boring or repelling readers, but I cannot in all conscience forbear any longer.  My Rage Gland can no longer be neglected!

     This is but a sampling, for I have enough transgressions to completely fill 3 blog posts.  Enow!  Anon!  Forsooth!

"RETROCEDE": Or, in plain English that people can understand, "To give back".  Your Humble Scribe had never EVER encountered this word before, despite having read approximately one million books.  At this point the compilers are looking at 50 years hard labour down the uranium mines when I take over.

Close enough

"PESETA": WHAT!  YOU WHAT!  <long string of swears> and once again the compilers ignore or pretend to forget that the peseta is a long-distant species of currency that has been replaced by the Euro.  WHAT ARE WE SPECIALISTS IN VARIETIES OF OBSOLETE CURRENCY NOW?


"GAWKED": Nope I don't think I'll continue on from this patently unfair gobbledygook even if it's in the Collins Concise and will instead carry on reading a murder mystery featuring Gervaise Fen.  You can sue me if you like***.


"Dimisie" By Dorita Bruce

Ah, the perils of perusing one's "Brewsters Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable" whilst not on a deadline.  Conrad had never heard of 'Dimsie' before today, and has subsequently discovered that she is a fictional Jolly Hockey Sticks schoolgirl whose correct appellate is Dorothy Maitland.  She was, apparently, quite popular amongst a female audience of the Twenties and Thirties.  I wonder if Art can provide us with an image?


     Conrad considers this a fruitful potential future endeavour, where he can bring in these images and mock them.  Dimsie victim of Conrad whimsy, you might say.  All, of course, in the most SFW context imaginable, YOU COLOSSAL PERVERTS.  Thank you so much.


Finally -

Conrad understands that "The Towering Inferno" was an adaptation of two novels, "The Tower" and "The Glass Inferno" from waaaaay back in the Seventies, when the resulting titular tower NO SNIGGERING AT THE BACK! was a total of 450 yards high.

     Yes well.  We currently have the Burj Khalifa, which stands at 906 yards high, or just slightly over twice as high as the entirely fictional tower in TTI.  I don't know if Chief O'Halloran was consulted about this.  One suspects not.

     But what can possibly go wrong!

O yes


*  "Of Phrase and Fable", which is a bit clunky to write out in full.

**  "Posh swears" 

***  Address all queries and litigations to Messrs. Duhm, De'Ath and Endall.  Ta very much.

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