They Say Strange Shizzle There
Yesterday we examined, briefly, the effort that goes into making BOOJUM! and how this has created an audience over the years. We also, a little maliciously, pointed out how "Dee Tee" had given up on his blog after only a month, and that the whole thing had abruptly vanished. No archives. If Conrad's past posts had vanished through anything less than Global Thermonuclear Warfare you can bet he'd be looking for blood. Or whatever substitute you use.
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| CAUTION! May cause voles to explode. |
So, whilst posting up the links to a long line of prehistory, Conrad happened to commit the cardinal sin - is there an ordinal sin as a complement? - of reading an old post, and he came across - well - Art!
Here an aside. Throwing a weasel up into the air repeatedly is guaranteed to put it in a bad mood, especially if it is rabid. I should know, I was raised by weasels*.
If you are doing this naked then more fool you, because weasels have extremely sharp teeth, not to mention claws. Conrad bets the NWJ will last mere seconds, if even that long.
The alternative option is that of weasels not wearing any clothes, performing prestidigitation themselves, a pretty tricky task if you don't possess mutually opposable digits. Here, of course - obviously! - we veer into cartoon territory, where Disney and others - Hanna Barbera I am glaring at you with ferocious intensity - put about the notion that animals have to be clothed. Art!
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| Tufty is the squirrel. Not sure of the weasel's name. |
Please note that the above are STOLIDLY UN-PERVERSE BRITISH CARTOON CHARACTERS who wear clothing BELO
W the waist, unlike that pervert Winnie the Pooh, whom we risk breaching our SFW status by illustrating, but - go ahead, Art - children, you should probably shut your eyes now.
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| Winnie with his BALLOON OF DRUG GASSES |
Possibly. What do you bet that there's nitrogen dioxide in there and not helium? Inhalation to become freaky instead of merely squeaky.
ANYWAY allow Conrad to put forward The Weasel As Noble Savage -
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| A role model for the ages |
After all that I think my conclusion is a bit weak, since I cannot find any pictures of weasels juggling. O well. Maybe tomorrow.
Motley! Begin the juggling of those educational slate-supports as used in the classroom in Victorian times.
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| Easels. Close enough. |
When The Humans Rock
If you recognise the allusion to Gary Numan, have half a brownie point. For this item is nothing to do with music, and everything to do with ROCK LIGHTHOUSE CONSTRUCTION thank you very much. Today we focus our attention on the Bell Rock Lighthouse, as mentioned in Tom Nancollas's "Seashaken Houses", and which we may very well have covered in the past. If so, prepare for a recap. Art!
The Bell Rock was built at the very beginning of the nineteenth century, being completed in 1810, which means that the work was done by hand, rather than being assisted by steam or internal combustion engines. The 'window' for construction was extremely limited, being carried out when tides were at their lowest, leading to the construction of a wooden adjunct that served as temporary lighthouse, accommodation, stores and forge. Art!
On land, such a construction wouldn't have merited much attention. Situated eleven miles out to sea, on an outcrop barely visible most of the time, and attended by the vilest of weather, the Bell Rock Lighthouse became something of a cause celebre, certainly in Scotland. The methodology and craftsmanship were so exemplary that, two hundred years later, it is still perfectly functional. How much of our modern world now extant will be able to say that in 2221?
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| Quick! Invite the British to invade**! |
Yes, Conrad Is STILL Angry
Let me add, more angry than usual. My default state is "Irked", occasionally moving over into "Peeved". Today, after reviewing Codeword solutions, I have decided I am, indeed, angry. Let the traducement begin!
"SZYGY": Actually this is a complete fiction, I've never come across this as a solution, most probably because the compilers have never encountered it, as they are not astronomers. For Your Information, it refers to at least three heavenly bodies aligned along a common axis, and is a major plot point in a Heinlein juvenile (possibly "Farmer In The Sky") and I seem to recall a Fred Pohl story or novel with this as a central tenet. Art!
Told you.
"LINO": What? By this word, are you by any chance referring to that plastic flooring product which the civilised world knows as 'Linoleum'? Conrad is unsure if this is a name familiar only to those blessed enough to live within the boundaries of This Sceptred Isle, but you cannot tell me that an abbreviation of said name is valid. This is verging on Ocker slang which abbreviates everything and sticks an "O" on the end. Art!
"FONDU": Codeword, I am not fond of you. I checked in my Collins Concise and it is spelt "FONDUE". FONDUE FONDUE FONDUE! Really, if you're going to include exotic foreign phrases, at least do me the courtesy of GETTING IT RIGHT. From the Swiss, don't you know, which in turns comes from the French for 'melted' (that is, 'Fondu'). Art!
Linoleum wrestling. The next Olympic sport?
A fondue set
If only it were bigger. Then we could put the compilers in there. Er - only metaphorically. Only by analogy. Not in real life. No, nobody would want to see their scalded bodies slowly slipping beneath the broiling surface, shrieking as they went, nobody willing to lift a finger to help them as horribly hot cheese sauce drags them down and parboils them until
ANYWAY I caught you out, compilers, so hard cheese.
Finally -
I think we are done for tonight. Better get down and see to that laundry. Hmmm. I bet Jim Morrison never had to deal with wet soggy socks and tee-shirts.
* RABID weasels, to boot.
** This is probably a matte. Just so we're clear.
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