We've Been Here Before
Back in February, and I know because I went back and checked, and that's quite enough use of the word 'back' in a single Intro. I refer, of course - obviously! - to the Crimea and it's water shortage, which has only gotten worse since we had a bit of an examine earlier in the year. Let's have a map. Art!
The only item in black is the dam those intransigent Ukranians built across the canal that used to supply water to Crimea. Tsar Putin didn't take this into account when his army of tourists took over seven years ago, which is a shame, as the North Crimea Canal supplied 80% of the peninsula's water. I mentioned in the February article that agriculture has suffered enormously, and that drinking water was being strictly rationed; I forgot to add that industry also requires water, if it's going to function properly. Art! Another map!
You can see from this how a lack of irrigation water affects agriculture. There were loud promises made in 2014 about how the locals didn't need to worry about water, it would all be sorted, just go outside when it rains and open your mouth, etcetera. None of this finger-crossing has worked. The latest plan is to drill for water under the Sea of Azov, said water being full of minerals and undrinkable, but it makes for good publicity and looking busy doing makework will do for Dimya.
There have been mutterings since at least 2018 that Dimya might go one step further and invade the Kherson region of Ukraine to get rid of 'that damn dam' as I'm sure at least one Ruffian has called it. Art!
This is no minor, temporary structure. You'd need a whole lot of high-explosive to get rid of it, AND you'd need your invasion force to stay in strength all along the canal, right up to the River Dnepr in fact, as otherwise the Intransigent Ukes will simply build another one. Even then, there's nothing to stop them building another dam on the Dnepr, so you'd need to occupy that, too. In fact, you'd need nothing less than a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, which Tsar Putin would jib at, because is getting water to the Crimea worth it? "Yes, we fought a bloody war against Ukraine, at vast expense and as a reward - have some Crimean rice!" won't go down well at election time.
Empty canal with puny human for scale
Motley! To celebrate you coming back from hospital, I've filled the swimming pool with WATER! and a few piranha to make things interesting.
"Army Of The Dead" Gets A Kick In The Head
The Critical Drinker, that alcoholic misanthrope, is probably rubbing his hands with glee at this title - he's drinking his Jack Daniels and coke through a straw, before you ask, and the glass is balanced on his laptop - because he hated this film with the burning biliousness of a billion bonfires. Conrad found it enjoyable nonsense, with plot holes you could drive a Bradley IFV through if you paused to think about it.
Well, guess what, I did pause to think about it. I also have Netflix access back, so my quantum quibbling now has visual cues, too. Art!
Originally, on first watch, Your Humble Scribe thought that this was a lone pilot who'd bailed out of his aircraft. But No! for you can see by the background that this is in fact a paratroop drop. No idea why you'd bother doing this if the ground is a-swarm with zombies and the brollymen will get pounced upon and eaten the instant they touch terra firma (SPOILER this is exactly what happens here).
Then we have Lilly The Coyote, who is obviously foreign. Don't ask, if a German locksmith can turn up, so can a foreign - er - entry expert? The team simply have to have her along because she knows how to get into the barricaded city of Las Vegas. Art!
That's the secret access point; a container. I dunno, perhaps I was expecting too much, but there are 73 miles of containers in the barricade and there must be dozens of such access points?
Then, only when they are actually inside Las Vegas, does Lilly volunteer vital information that the team could have done with knowing before they entered. Art!
 |
| Lilly in info-dump mode |
1) There's a class of zombies that are dubbed 'Alphas', which are unlike the mass of 'Shamblers'.
2) They are faster and stronger than mere mortal men (A BIT OF AN IMPORTANT POINT IN MY VIEW!)
3) They are collectively organised (AGAIN, IMPORTANT!)
4) You can only proceed into their territory by sacrificing a person to them (and how, pray tell, did she discover this?)
5) Despite making a sacrifice, you don't dare move in the streets, as that would be disrespectful, so you have to travel indoors
6) Indoors are full of well-preserved shamblers
I think that's enough head-kicking all at once. Actually, our heroes not knowing the above fills in a plot hole, because if all they were expecting were dull-witted palsied shambling deadbeats, then there would be a lot less risk and thus exposing all that skin isn't so stupid.
Of course, I may be overthinking this ...
"You are, Conrad. You are."
"CHESSETTS"
No! That is not a mis-spelling of the opposing team's pieces on a chess board. it is yet another term I noted from "Sir Nigel" and since I didn't bother to note any context, I have only the vaguest of notions as to what it means. Sadly my Collins Concise had no entry for it, so <shudders> Conrad will have to check it out via teh Interwebz. One minute -
A domicile
Sadly no luck there, either. All I get are hits for Chessetts in Birmingham. Okay, Conrad will declare that a chessett was a knightly banner with a pointy end. If you don't like it, prove me wrong.
Finally -
It's been quite some while since Facebook recommended adverts for 'Log-counting software' based on who knows what kind of corrupted algorithm, and yesteryon I came across one for a rotating mat upon which to cut fabrics. Art!
What on earth? Your Humble Scribe is not known for having anything to do with cutting fabrics, so how did FB decide I simply had to learn about this sterling opportunity to purchase a rotary mat? Besides, what's to prevent your stingy penny-pinching self from O I dunno - turning your static mat?
I think I can sum this up as Bah!
Okay, time to wrap up this edition of the blog and a) get some lunch, b) take Edna for a walk and c) make my constitutional stroll into Royton. Chin chin!
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