Although, To Be Honest, It Rather Depends On Your Viewpoint
We all know that Conrad never grew out of his childhood fascination with things that go BANG, ranging from cap guns to Gamma Ray Bursters, so those of you who lack an interest in things that are explosive, preferably radioactive and toxic too, may want to skip this Intro*.
Let us now upload the relevant picture I took last night. Art!
Hmmmm you can't see a great deal of the aircraft carrier there. Let us have another web picture that shows the process at a slightly earlier stage. Art!
Somewhat counter-intuitively, this shot shows 18 tons of explosives being detonated at depth. I say 18, it was actually 17 5/6ths, which is awkward to type and so - 18 tons. The hydrodynamics of an underwater explosion like this mean an initial circular area of disturbed water, and then a column of explosively-propelled water erupts as in the first picture.
'Gee, they must hate the ocean!' I hear you comment. Also 'Yeah, take that, you dirty ocean.' And 'This is for Hurricane Beatrice!'
Ah well - no. The idea is that the AC, the "Gerald Ford", which is due to go into service later this year, gets tested for real to see if it can cope with wartime conditions. It did. This time - there are two more tests scheduled which will decrease the detonation distance from the ship. Art!
Of course, there is one person grinding his teeth and clenching his fists in the hope that it goes to the bottom of Davy Jones' Locker by July ...
How to scare cats the Tsar Putin way!
How's that refit of the 'Admiral Kuznetsov' coming on, Dimya**?
Okay, motley, we're going to do some Shock Trials of our own. You get in the swimming pool and I'll just arm these grenades -
Like A Tether To My Nether
Yes, Conrad's delicious and tender fundament has been the subject of another gnawing, gnashing attack by that dirty cur, the Coincidence Hydra. There I was last night, soaking in a vat of gin spa waters, pondering on the Royal Marines post Second Unpleasantness for no reason I can recall, when I bethought 'What was that engagement I remember reading about, where there's a painting of them storming a river bank from a landing craft?' Having no answer to my question, which passed out of my mind as if a gentle zephyr, I thought no more upon it.
No, Art. No.
Until I was checking out Youtube, and OF COURSE that same picture crops up attached to an article about said engagement, to wit: Art!
Of course I could be lying for effect, except to what end? Besides which, I have an honest face. Let's see if we can get a better-quality rendition of that picture. Art!
The Royal Marines arrive to hand out sweeties***.
Vanadium Vandal Violently Vexes Vehicles
I can say 'Vanadium' because it's used in steel, and steel is used to make vehicles and whose blog is it?
Right. Yesteryon Conrad espied an article in the BBC News website, that font of all that's fit to be writ (and, mostly, read, but which word does not scan with the others and so is usually left out). It concerned a wrecker - Dan Rawlings - who has claims of artistic pretension, as Art will show. Go on Art, make up for that 'zephyr'debacle.
I mean, look at that! Completely RUINED as a tanker thanks to his 'artistic acetylene'. Clearly this tanker truck cannot ever carry a liquid cargo again, and it would be a pinch to substitute another fuel source instead. Perhaps tree trunks? Nor is the driver going to be safe in his cab; I bet the Health And Safety Executive would have a field day issuing bans and sanctions.
But that's not all. O noes. Clearly our artist was infected with a fever for cutting shizzle up, because have a gander at this. Art!
Really, I ask you! Did he stop to think about what the insurance costs must be on a vehicle like this, where theft of the cargo is so ridiculously easy that they might as well put up a sign that says "Free Stuff Here!"? What if it was transporting delicate and fragile crystal glassware and went over a pothole? "Hello madame, here's your order of tinkling smashed Ming vase fragments, sign here please." I think not!
We're not done yet. O no. Art!
This is now literally an "Airframe" as there is more air than frame. I suppose you could put things inside it and push it along instead of flying, getting up to speeds of as much as a mile per hour. Only inland, obviously, as it as is manifestly unseaworthy as it is unairworthy. Or you could send it via Royal Mail IF Rawly hadn't got at their delivery vans yet.
Really, some people - Bah!
"Ben Hur" And Matte Work
Conrad would like to point you in the direction of NZ Pete's blog that deals with this fascinating subject, in a lot more depth than Conrad's facile skitterings across the surface.
https://nzpetesmatteshot.blogspot.com/
The link to his blog, should you wish to know more. I did get his permission to share his work before using it, so you can rest easy MI5. Art!
Similar to the one we had yesteryon, this time in colour. For Lo! we are back on the matte work in BH, where Your Humble Scribe was only certain of one shot. In fact there are lots, but they are so well done that it's hard to distinguish them out unless NZ Pete points them out. For example:
The top picture is the matte painting; the second shows the insert where the live filming was taking place, and the third is where both were composited together. This is the scene where I guessed there was a matte involved, and kudos to Pete for showing how they did it back in the day.
Finally -
Conrad is wondering if it's too late to brew a pot of tea. The thing is, I missed having a second pot this afternoon, and am now worried that MI5 are going to be reading about a whole lot of 'pot' and misinterpret it horribly. Yes, they do compensate you when it turns out to be a horrible mistake but you try living for two weeks with no front door and missing upstairs windows.
On which typically griping note, let us finish and state we are done!
* I will know if you do. And there will be - consequences.
** It's not. All work on the world's most cursed ship stopped over a year ago.
*** Bullets. Sorry, bullets, not sweeties.
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