I shan't apologise for using a South Canadianism as a title, because "Rumpus Via Royal Mail" just doesn't scan the same, nor is it as alliterative, so there.
Anyway, this is bound up with my recent fiction consumption, which you might have forgotten about, so Lo! I shall apprise you of what I got.
Firstly, James Crumley's "The Last Good Kiss", which, if Art can stir from his coal-induced stupor -*
My edition |
Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about - typical me, eh? cannot string a coherent string of thought together without wandering off at a tangent, or two, as with this sentence here - because I have also ordered, via Abebooks, the first three novels in the "Hap and Leonard" series by Joe R. Lansdale. Art! (I think the coke is wearing off)
With a quote from James Crumley! |
Leonard Hap Leo Hap
Those above are Leonard and Hap, the heroes of that novel above, though they are usually introduced as Hap and Leonard. Hap is a bit of an idler with no great plans about anything, though he's an extremely able hombre when it comes to dishing out physical violence. You have to work at him to get his temper up, however. Leonard, on the other hand, possesses a ferocious temper and is quite happy to get into fights, which, seeing as how he's 1) black ( you may have noticed) 2) a Vietnam vet and 3) gay as anything, come along reg'lar, like. There, a bit of East Texas argot for you.
Not sure which county they're in |
Thus |
"Snow And Steel" By Mister Caddick-Adams
No need to bother with first names, is there? It's not as if there's scads of Caddick-Adams lurking on the literary horizon <which means the fat old biffer has forgotten the author's first name - the ugly truth courtesy Mister Hand!>
and they need - is that traitorous wretch Mister Hand up to his mischief again?
Anyway, I noted at page 199 that ROGER <take that, Hand!> makes serious mention of the logistics burden placed upon the Wehrmacht by their weapons high rates of fire. I, Conrad, have also mentioned this in passing. ROGER refers in this case to the widespread adoption of the Mp44 "Sturmgewehr" as a substitute for the Mauser Kar98. Art?
Kar98 at top, Stg44 at bottom |
This is conducive to a bit of mathematical analysis. We may revisit!
CAUTION! Not available in the UK. Ever. |
Ahem. I think we need to educate Art in what "harmless" and "whimsy" entail |
A short while ago we logically de-constructed that tale of horror and woe that goes by the name "Humpty Dumpty", which Conrad thinks might better be titled "An Accident Waiting To Happen". Let us now look at "Rock-a-bye Baby" -
"Rock-a-bye baby"
Thoroughly unexceptional. Unless they mean that the baby is present at a Black Sabbath concert as the parents were too tight to hire a babysitter, in which case Child Services will be having a little word with you, Parents.
"On the tree top -"
HOLY CALVING COW ON A PETROL-POWERED POGO STICK! NO NO NO!! And there I was worried about parents taking their kid to a music concert, shows how little I know. Call the RAF's Air Sea Rescue and the Fire Brigade, and some especially brutal police, in order that those Parents can be given a thorough seeing too. What were they thinking? Were they thinking at all? Sheesh, they're bad enough to feature in a James Crumley novel.
I'm sorry, I'm too shaken to carry on. Besides which, we've hit the Compositional Ton.
A shockingly sordid tale of parental drug abuse and neglect! |
*** For now.
** Heh
* It was actually coke but you might have gotten the wrong idea.
Art's idea of fine dining |
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