Taking The Scenic Mental Route

Yes, It May Take Longer To Arrive At A Conclusion
I think you'll find the cogitation along the way is it's own reward.  
     "What's he wibbling on about now?" I hear your exasperated quibbling - yes, good hearing thanks to cybernetic implants before you ask.
     Okay, this may take a while to develop, so I recommend you go make a pot of tea (loose-leaf only).  No milk or sugar, either: tea as it is meant to be drunk!
     Conrad, as his attention wanders like a flea on a griddle, has been watching another Youtube channel that dubs itself "Top 5 Scary Videos" and I suppose you'll want a picture.  Art?

Their charter wanders somewhat

     Of course they don't just restrict themselves to videos, they tackle other media, and one theme they presented was "Top 5 scariest moments on TV".  They had "White Bear" from a series I've never watched, "Black Mirror", as it seems miserable as heck.  "Hush" from that soap opera "Buffy The Vampire Slayer" which I did ponder in light of the Trades Description Act act because she slays - but I digress.  There was that moment in "Twin Peaks" when we find out who the killer of Laura Palmer really is (I shall not spoil it for you).  

Bob, from "Twin Peaks".  Obviously learned all he knows about smiling from Conrad.

     They also nominated an episode of "The X Files", "Home", which I remember watching and not being especially impressed with.  I dunno, maybe I'm just hard-bitten?
     The one that got my attention, of all these, was "Incident On And Off A Mountain Road", the first episode of the anthology "Masters of Horror" which fans feel is the best of the lot.  Art?

All is not as it seems

     Because Conrad is a cheat and an untrustworthy liar WHAT!  MISTER HAND, KINDLY GET LOST! irrevocably curious, he immediately looked up the episode, discovering that it was adapted from a short story written by Joe R. Lansdale.  Art?

To distinguish him from all the other Joe Lansdales, before you ask

     This lead him to discover that Ol' Joe had written the novella that "Bubba Ho-Tep" is based on, which is good pedigree.  In fact Ol' Joe has written lots, including a whole slew of stuff about Hap and Leonard, a pair of amateur detectives who live in East Texas and solve (horrible!) crimes.   Irrevocably curious, Conrad poked around further, finding that there had been a television series of same.  They seem to have a bit of a James Crumley vibe about them, so I think I shall be checking Abebooks shortly.

Hap and Leonard

     Let's have a moment's silence for Ol' Jim, who seems to have become forgotten now that he's dead and gone.
     Anyway, there you go - a long journey to get here, which I enjoyed, and since I'm the one writing this and who thus matters the most, that's that.

"Because Science"
How can anyone with the slightest smidgeon of nerd about themselves not love this Youtube channel?  Conrad is passing fond of it thanks to Kyle's inability to take himself seriously, yet to manage all sorts of abstruse calculations in order to establish a basis in reality of utter daftness.
     For example.  Most recently Kyle was trying to work out the physics of that iconic weapon from "Men In Black" - easily the best of the series and they shouldn't have bothered with anything after that - the 'Noisy Cricket'.  Art?

Will looks so saaaaaad

     Of course, the hilarity comes from what happens when Will fires this diminutive weapon, because it puts an enormous hole in whatever it hits -

Ooops.  £150,000 in property damage, Agent.

     And also hurls our hero backwards with sufficient force to smash the windscreen of a car.

Crash pants

     Working off the apparent size of the gun, and the calibre of it's barrel, Kyle postulated that it fired a metal projectile of, at most, <grits teeth because - Metric> 2 millimetres.  Given the mass of Will Smith, and the distance he flies backwards, Kyle ran the numbers and discovered that the projectile has to be travelling at 20% of the speed of light.
     Wow.
     The story doesn't end there.  O no!  Because the audience for BS is full of nerds, who love to do nothing more than prove each other wrong - but we shall come back to this.

Kyle Hill.  Frequently mistaken for Thor

Scatter My Data, It's Otto Strasser!
Probably not a name you've ever heard of, unless you are familiar with the history of the Nazi Party before Herr Schickelgruber came to power.  I am, of course, and this chap popped into my head because I've started reading "Snow and Steel" by Peter Caddick-Adams, who goes on about the back-stabbing divide-and-rule politics at the top of the Nazi government and military by late 1944.
     Otto, and his brother Gregor, were both members of the NSAPD's left-wing, and yes, you read that correctly: the Nazis had a left wing.  These were people who wanted to put the "Socialism" part of "National Socialism" into practice, and they were deadly serious about it.  Art?

Otto.  With his party face on.*

     This did not jib terribly well with Herr Schickelgruber, who didn't want to upset big business, industry and the army with dangerously radical ideas verging on - gasp! - Bolshevism, so Otto was unceremoniously hoiked out of the party in 1930.
     Herr Schickelgruber probably congratulated himself on a pretty smart move in doing this.  It would come back to bit him on the arse, and then some.

Finally -
I have to be verrrrry circumspect here, as that dreaded Photograph Re-formatting Fault has appeared in the text above.  There I was, about to add " almost literally dog-eat-dog" to that unflattering description of NSDAP politics - and Ol' Otto's photo started dancing across the page, re-formatting as it went.
     Fortunately

R J Macready arrived to save the day!

     NO, MAC, GO AWAY!  THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM THAT CAN BE SOLVED WITH A FLAMETHROWER!
     Sheesh.  Some people, eh?** FORTUNATELY the blog had mostly been written the night before, so all I needed to add was this coda.  This takes us over the Compositional Ton, so I can now relax with -
     - Bird Sweat!  I've already done the Cryptic.  <sighs dolefully>  I guess it's the Quick one for a bit of crossword slumming.
     See you later, Pink Floyd fans!!***



*  Did you like that one?  I made it up myself.
**  If he is still - you know, people.
***  If you're not a Pink Floyd fan, what are you doing here!?