A Bit Of Maths Goes A Long Way

About Seven Miles, Actually
We'll come back to that, as it involves things that go BANG and which cause people to rapidly expire, having been filled with pieces of metal travelling at speed.
     You'll be delighted to know that I currently have nothing other than my laptop on my lap, for Edna is nowhere to be seen.  This is a little surprising, as I have an opened packet of Sweet Chilli Flavour Rice Crackers next to me.  I did open them last night, so she hasn't been forewarned by the tell-tale rustling of the packet being torn apart.
     Enough of dull domestic details!  On to more interesting matters!
     Like LITHIUM WAFER BATTERY DESIGN!  

Hmmm.  Perhaps not.

     I am now up to Episode 6 of "Stranger Things" Season Three, and, get this, I don't even know how many episodes there are in this series, so I've no idea how close, or how far, we are from a conclusion.  Things, though, are looking bad for Hawkins, Indiana.  Very bad.  So bad, in fact, that I'm not at all sure there'll be much of the town's population left alive by the time we hit The End.  The Glop Monster this time around seems to be pretty damn resilient, to the point that I think flamethrowers are called for.  R. J. MacReady, where are you when we need you?*

"Mac liked to start the day with a few slices of toast."

     That remorseless Russky assassin chap has a definite Eighties Schwarzenegger thing going for him, I think you'll find.
     Okay, now we move onto the lethal maths lesson.

"The Silent Devil"
If you're not interested in either guns or numbers, you might want to skip this bit.**
     Okay, I have posted earlier about the quote from a British soldier, present in Peter Hart's "The Last Battle", about the 60 pounder gun being known as "The Silent Devil", which the Teutons disliked above all other artillery pieces as deployed by Perfidious Albion on the Western Front during the First Unpleasantness.
     At first glance, this makes little sense.  An artillery piece of any calibre is never silent.  Art?

Least of all one of these rascals

     However, you know Conrad, never happier than when he has a problem to solve.  As long as it's not a mathematical one, those are

     DOG BUNS!  Alright, alright, we get it, Mac - you stand ready to torch the bad guys, can you leave us alone to finish the article?  Sheesh, really -
     Now, the range of a 60 pounder was just shy of 7 miles, which is enough to reach waaaay behind the Teuton front lines, even if the firing piece is a mile behind it's own front lines.  This means that it would be carrying out what they call "counter-battery" work, or, in plain English, making the lives of Teuton gunners an absolute hell.  Not only that, it would be firing on things like crossroads, communication trenches, ammunition dumps, light railways, vehicle parks, horse lines - all the stuff sitting well behind Teuton lines.  Art?

The Front Lines

     This, I think, is where the velocity of the shell fired comes into play.  I looked up a series of British field, medium and heavy pieces and what speed their shells travelled at, and because I did the work, you get to read it, like it or no.  Ahem!

18 pounder muzzle velocity = 1,615 feet per second

4.5 inch Howitzer m.v. = 1,010 f.p.s.

6 inch Hhowitzer m.v. = 1,400 f.p.s.

8 inch Howitzer m.v. = 1,300 f.p.s.

9.2 inch Howitzer m.v. = 1,187 f.p.s.

6 inch gun m.v. = 2,300 f.p.s.

60 Pounder m.v. = 2,130 f.p.s.

     There you have it.  The 60 pdr is significanly higher in muzzle velocity than everything other than the 6 inch gun - which is different from a howitzer in having an enormously longer barrel on an equally enormous gun.  The above m.v.s mean that a 60 pdr. shell would take only 18 seconds to travel those seven miles, which implies that a salvo will arrive with absolutely no warning.

"Like a 60 pounder barrage, Mac arrived without warning -"

     MAC!  GET LOST!  <sighs wearily>
     This, I think, is why it would have been dubbed TSD, because the unfortunates on the receiving end suddenly found themselves being exploded to bits by Perfidious Albion's artillery.  Not an experience likely to make them feel glad in themselves, and still less about their enemy.

     Enough of strife and conflict!  Let us move onto more cheery matters, such as <thinks> er <thinks again> ah yes <still thinking> okay, Conrad and BOOJUM! are not a good fit with "cheery".  How about "eerie"?

                                   
                                           One of these is family-friendly.  The other is not.

Finally - 
Let us not beat about the bush here.  Conrad spent all his revision time at "O" Levels working on Mathematics, as it was without doubt his weakest subject, and thanks to this hard work and sacrificing a black cock at midnight in the cemetery <more home truths courtesy Mister Hand!> ENOUGH INTERRUPTIONS!  Where was I?  Damn that treacherous appendage, I've lost - oh yes, I got a Grade "C", which is quite acceptable.  The "A" or "B" were better, that goes without saying, but a "C" was quite acceptable.
     Having said that, Your Modest Artisan does find the concepts and ideas of higher mathematics quite interesting, it's just that the middle ground between "O" Level and degree-level stuff of "A" Level is an 

"Also available for barbecues and weed removal"

     <reaches for gun>
     AS I WAS SAYING - is an insuperable intellectual desert - or, to be more accurate, cratered radioactive wasteland with mutant monsters to boot - that he cannot traverse.
     So, when I saw this picture -

      - my immediate response was "No! but I can eat all the pies."

     Look, I did have more to say but I need to duck out now, as I can tell RJ is desperately waiting in the wings, poised to hijack BOOJUM! again.  He's obviously escaped from that secure hospital wing - be wary of personal adverts in the press come November about "bonfire experts" ...


*  Probably sedated to the gills in a secret USAF hospital wing, suffering from the PTSD to end them all.  Similar time-frame, y'know?
**  But I will know if you do.  And I lack the concept of "mercy".