More Mesotron Madness

OR Back To Blasters
Yes, we return to the mighty hand-held atomic blaster beloved of the sci-fi pulps, Buck Rodgers and lazy contemporary authors.  
     As I have mentioned, James Blish had a 'mesotron rifle' and 'mesotron pistol' just to be different.  Normally Our Hero (girls not trusted with firearms in the Golden Age) wields an atomic blaster that works by <cough cough> nuclear fission, gouging a hole in whatever gets in the way.  Art?

Dog Buns!  They retailed these to children?

     This, of course, raises the same kind of problems as with the atomic car (yes, there really was such a thing in design form), which would very probably contaminate a crash site for several human lifetimes.  What happens if your Super Atomo-blaster Gun is damaged?  Say, by another person wielding another Super-Atomo-blaster Gun?  How big an explosion would you get, and would it be nuclear in nature?  

Duck, Buck!

     Rather worrying, you must admit.  What if your atomic blaster merely (!) gets run over by a car and breaks a bit; you can't simply get a dustpan and brush to clean up spilled plutonium.  No, you need to cordon off about a square mile and get in a hazmat-suited emergency team, and don't think the cost of those isn't coming out of Mister Careless' next pay packet -
     Here an aside.  I am nearly finished with E.E. "I get shirty if you don't make a reference to 'Doc' somewhere" Smith's "Galactic Patrol", noting that Doc did a fix-up and recasting of this work in 1950.  Art?

See?  They just had to squeeze that Ph.D in there, didn't they!

     His hero Kim makes mention of planting three 'Lithium-hydride' bombs in an enemy base, which is interesting, because LiH is the magic ingredient in thermonuclear warheads, none of which had been invented yet.  Plainly, Doc was ahead of the curve here by a good 4 years.*
     Where were we?  Oh, yes, blasters.
     Here's another reason why phasers are rubbish; I'm including them as a class of blaster because - whose blog is it?  They make a kind of 'zizz' when firing, with a bright red beam, and that's it.  Art?

Captain Kirk, with phaser (and still in his shirt)

     As mentioned before, they really have no more utility than a 21st Century pistol at short range.  Plus, they can be set to 'Overload', resulting in a fiendishly large explosion.  No such danger of that with a humble slug-throwing pistol!
     "Of course, it takes a concerted effort to put it on Overload," I hear you apologists say.  Yes, and you can bet some idiot is going to do so, simply to see if they can.
     Okay, we've stranded the motley on the back of a log in the middle of a river, to see if it can - oops, no, sorry - it's not a log, it's an alligator!

Good luck, motley.

Egad!  I Am Distraught!
Well, a bit.  I was gloasting over my collection of 'Official History of the War', when I realised that I DO NOT HAVE Volumes I and IV of the Mesopotamian theatre.  Gadzooks!  Dog Buns!  Lo, they have been absent these many years and I didn't realise.  
     <heaves heavy sigh and looks to Abebooks and E-Bay>
     I hope you can forgive me for parading about all these years in the colours of a complete collection, when I am in reality a shameful sham.

The originals (1920's issue)

Well, haven't I been wittering on.  I need to hammer on with this in order to earn brownie points by taking Edna for a trot, and to get some lunch as well.  Your humble scribe needs sustenance to create words of such wonder as these before you!**

Conrad's Guilty Pleasures
Okay, okay, that collection of "NCIS" Season 4 DVDs was mine, I admit it.  It's one of my guilty pleasures, as is also watching "Police Interceptors", which is on right now, and which is also probably the reason this afternoon's BOOJUM! is taking longer than usual, even with the sound periodically muted.

Not really what you want to see in your rear-view mirror with their lights going

     I will tell you one thing, from observation: once they scramble the helicopter, you (the Bad Guys) are doomed.  You can't possibly outrun it, and with FLIR cameras you can't hide from it, either.  Your only hope would be to drive into a multi-storey car park, ditch your car and leave on foot, except there's probably scads of coppers on foot tracking your every move.

Okay, Edna - fancy a walk?
<excited whimpering and yipping>
No?  How strange!
<more excited whimpering and yipping, with added dancing>
You'll tell Wonder Wifey I was cruel and abusive to you?  Yes I bet you would!  Okay, off we go.

*  Conrad not quite so sarky now, is he?  <sarky comment from Mister Hand>
**  They are so words of wonder.