Conrad - STILL Hates All Musicals!

I Will Go Down Fighting About "The Blues Brothers" AND "Captain Invincible"
 - because neither of those two are musicals.  No, they are - er - they are - Comedies With Music!  Yeah, Comedies With Music.  And "Spinal Tap" is a documentary, so there - no, hang on, it's a Documentary Comedy With Music.
     Where was I?  O yes, here an aside.  If you have a good enough memory, then you remember yesterday's mysterious text message - quotidian balneomaniacs of epistolarian effulgency -

A Balneomaniac

     That was me being gloasty, toasty and generally showing-off by using long words, for which behaviour you can thank Thomas Pynchon, who has set the bar very high indeed.  "Quotidian" simply means "Daily", and "Epistolarian"is a person who writes formal letters (thus the very opposite of Conrad), and "Effulgency" is going over the top.  In total - hang on, something's trying to push it's way in - Art?  Art!  Stop -

Oh I say.  More balneomaniacs.

     I was trying to up the reading level of BOOJUM! since when I copy it over to the Word Counter, it keeps saying that I write at 11th/12th Grade, which in the sensible part of the world equates to a 17 year old.  With that line of pretentious prattle, the level got elevated to "College Student", which is a small victory.
     Where was I?
     Oh, that's right, musicals <hack spit> ooops, sorry Edna!  
     Conrad understands that the following scarlet foothiders come from some filmic farrago called "The Wizard of Oz" - Art?

CAUTION!
Not suitable for rough terrain (but they are waterproof)

     Take note of that title, will you?  Because what cropped up in the Cryptic Crossword but the clue "Flowers for Judy (7)", to which I append the answer - Art?

Just to make it more interesting - 3 Down

     - and the answer is, obviously, "GARLAND".
     Conrad has, over the years, accidentally seen bits of TWOZ but is still proud to say he's never watched the miserable thing in it's entirety.  

The Coincidence Hydra is a big fan, apparently.

     Time to see how long the motley can stand inside a shot-blaster without whimpering for mercy!

A Little Musical Critique
Normally the citric and mordant eye of BOOJUM! falls upon the rather better-known bands and singers who infest the airwaves, for only thus will you be aware of their songs.  However, we can branch off into the relatively obscure, especially if their lyrics are all over the place.
     Hence, allow me to introduce you to Turin Brakes - no, the name has no special meaning, they just liked the sound of it - and their biggest hit to date, "Painkiller".  Art - and don't you dare picture an aspirin!

Still around

     Okay, let us begin the dreaded lyrical analysis!

"Batten up the hatches, here comes the cold"
The one thing is only tangentially related to the other, chaps - you batten down hatches if there's a storm due, which might also be bringing cold weather; it's not a given.
"I can feel it creeping, it's making me old"
LIARS!  If you live in the UK then being cold is completely routine and normal and nothing out of the ordinary, and is more likely to preserve you than age you.  Bah!
"You give me so much love that it blows my brains out"
What?  Dog Buns, is this a love song or a suicide note?  I think we'll adjourn this till tomorrow, on the grounds that it's far too disturbing.  Egad!

Conrad happy with these being left where they ought to be

I think we need a little more variety, it's all been banging on about music so far.  Let me rub two sticks together and see if we can create any metaphorical or literal sparks - WHOAH!  Sorry, Edna - hang on, I've got a glass of water here - 

You Wacky Persians - Look What You Started!
Yes indeed, just cast your mind back to the year 500 AD, when some bright Aryan spark realised that there was a source of motive power going spare, and for free -
     The wind.
     So, lo and behold, the Persians invented the windmill, clever chaps that they were.

Not quite what you were expecting, eh?

     Fast forward to the present day, and the Walney wind-turbine Extension is now open.  The area is called a "farm", but it actually covers 55 square miles, so "gigantic estate" is rather more apt, one feels.  Art?

Very geometric

     The average cost of one wind turbine is in the region of £5,250,000 and if we use the conversion rate of 2,200 pounds per Imperial ton, that makes each turbine the equivalent of 2,386 tons of gold, or probably as much mass as that original Persian McGuffin. 
     Kind of makes you think!