How Very Topical!

I Have Decided That Today We Shall Have No Dam Disasters
For it is a mournful subject - almost as mournful as the winds howling around the upper storeys of The Mansion, sounding like all the lost legions of Hades (something to do with windflow around all the gargoyles)* - and the disasters we shall focus on today are all fictional. So far.

A gargoyle.  Done small.

     "What do you mean, 'topical'?" I hear you query.  "You haven't made a typo for "Tropical", have you? I mean, it's -"
     NO!  NO I HAVE NOT!! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO STATE THAT BOOJUM! NEVER EVER EVER HAS SPELLING MISTAKES!  BAFOONS!
     Oooh, I feel better after a bit of apoplectic rage.
     Where was I?  Oh yes - topical.  I mean about the recent rain we've had, since our Summer abruptly ended at the end of August.  Had the heat and sun persisted, then you'd have cause to use "Tropical".  As it is - it is wet.

I think this is Longsight, in Manchester.

     Believe me, the overall weather trend in recent years has been for rainfall to increase.  The UK is probably the only country in the world looking forward to global warming and drier weather.
     Anyway, from water where it's not wanted to wanting to be in a wealth of water.  Art?

Stout fellah.

     This is an artist's impression of "Vent Base Alpha", a habitat designed to exist on the deep sea floor, utilising vents such as that seen to the starboard, which would drive Stirling cycle engines and generate power.  The whole thing is designed to subsist at one atmosphere, thus meaning the people living there don't have to acclimatise to breathing in a whole host of horrid exotic gases.
     That's the 'what'.  Nobody has yet explained the 'why', unless it's that old saw which mountaineers use - "Because it's there."  And your humble scribe can guarantee that there'll be a whole subset of angry finger-waggers all chorusing "You shouldn't do that, you shouldn't do that".  Ha!  Just wait until the nearest Gamma Ray Burst goes off, and see them change their tune!

A gamma ray burst.

     Now to fill tennis balls with concrete and fire them at the motley, which is strapped to a chair!

     I should point out that GRBs are always extremely distant and are colossally unlikely to vapourise all life on the surface of Planet Earth, so they are only fictional.  So far.

A Brief Domestic Interlude
I baked a cake yesterday: gluten-free Youghurt and Orange cake, from a recipe I've not used before.  Typically the thing settled a bit after coming out of the oven, so maybe next time I'll add more xanthan gum and a bit of baking powder, too.  Art?

     Of course this is as close as your humble scribe can get to tasting it.  My cunning plan is to take it into the office tomorrow and prove to people that Conrad is not, after all, a sinister set of software sitting silently, sentinel-like, in a server.  No!  He is a real, flesh and blood human being person humanoid.

     Okay, enough boring domestic tranquility, let's see some Things Exploding!

Splitting A Single Hair 83 Times
Metaphorically.  Just one of my many skills.  For Yes!  We are back to the Unanswerable Thunderbirds Questions, which have proven to be eminently answerable, if you use your imagination and squint a bit.  Art - front, centre and put the coal-scuttle down!

"Minor?"

      I don't know if you can see this clearly, but the red car wallops into the stationary one so hard they both end up completely wrecked.

     "I don't know and I don't care!" was my initial glib response, because what satisfies the inner child more than a whole lot of EXPLOSIONS! and RAGING INFERNOS!
     Then I calmed down a little and thought an explanation might be in order.
     A collision in a multi-storey car park is enough to cause petrol tanks to rupture, and if there is an engine running, there may be sufficient latent heat or sparking metal to ignite any spilled fuel, in which case you get a fire.  This can easily spread to other cars, igniting their fuel tanks, in a mathematical progression where you end up with a raging inferno.  Art?

The Liverpool Echo Car Park fire January 2018

     In the case of the above nobody was injured, which is a testament to the common sense of not building car parks 150 storeys in height, so - the terrifying blaze from "Thunderbirds" is purely fictional.  So far.

Invasion Of The Weaselnanas -
If you need to be told that this was utter bosh, fictional, completely made up and nonsense to boot, then you are either off your meds, or taking the wrong (illegal!) kind.  For heaven's sake - you cannot cross-breed a vegetable with an animal and get any kind of offspring, despite what Hellenic myths might tell you about bulls and swans getting frisky with none-too-choosy ladies.
     Although - 

Offspring of goat and potato, anyone?

*  A word unfamiliar to my Latvian compatriot Zanda.