Having Fun - With A Ray Gun

I Hope You Don't Mind All This Wibble About 'Blasters'
Even if you do, then - tough!  I am on a roll, I have plenty to say on the subject and shall continue to do so until finished or I drop dead off my stool.  And, since I only ever use chairs, the latter will be difficult to manage.
     Yes, we are back to those omnipresent sci-fi hand-weapons, the atomic blaster.  I exclude the rifle version of this gizmo, since these usually possess a stock, foregrip and sights and thus allow you to pick off the enemy Tessalonians at a comfortable distance of a few miles.  Art?

One can picture Freud having an input on this ...

     I have been reading Isaac Asimov's "Foundation" trilogy and the atomic blaster as hand-weapon features heavily in these tales, including one gory little anecdote about a smugly smiling secret policeman who opens fire on Our Hero with a blaster, only for it to be utterly negated by Our Hero's personal shield (atomic-powered, of course).  Our Hero returns fire, resulting in the still-smiling head of his foe falling to the floor, since the torso on which it is supposed to sit is no longer there.  Nor is most of the office's back wall.  Art?

Actually Buck Rogers, Art - but it will do.

     This is one of the drawbacks of a blaster - collateral damage.  If there had been people behind that wall, suddenly there wouldn't have been, if you see what I mean.  What if there had been fuel tanks or containers of sodium trifluoride behind that wall?  A personal shield won't help much when you're in the middle of a 25 kiloton fission explosion, matey!  Art?

CAUTION!
Your Atomic Blaster is NOT suitable for killing mice, rats, flies or spiders
(No, not even really big hairy ones)

     They make better demolition weapons than anti-personnel weapons - a fact noted by James Blish of his 'mesotron pistol' almost word for word, in what may be a slight dig at the generic weapon.  After all, why do you need the overkill of a weapon that costs £12 million apiece and which can't do anything better at short range than a simple revolver?
     The actual 'How' of blasters is usually handwaved away, too.  Are we to take it that they project a ray of ravening nuclear fission that vapourises all it touches - but without any nasty radioactivity or fallout products?

"Here lieth a veteran of 24th century warfare"*

     Oh, there is still much to prevaribcate about on this subject, yet I will forego it for today.  Now, time to give the motley a few deep scratches and tell it to cross the piranha-infested river!

Glamourising The Criminals
Conrad is not necessarily against this per se, given that he intends to take over the world, enslave you all and inflict dreadful torment, especially upon Russell Brand and Alan Carr.  It's just that you ought to call a criminal a criminal and be honest about it.  Yes, I realise this is deeply schizophrenic, and I don't care.**
     "Where are you going with this, Conrad, you chuntering oaf?" I hear you growl.
     Pausing only to observe that the best way to get rid of your hangover is not to do 53 Jaegerbombs in the first place, I shall explicate.  Art?

The original varmint

     The Doctor - no, no, not the one who whizzes about in a big blue box, do keep up - Doctor Jones made outright theft acceptable, even laudable, lying about how it's all "for science".  As if!  
     Anyway, he looks postively angelic compared to that egregious lych-looter Lara Croft.  Art?

I am shocked.  Shocked, I tell you!

     "Become the Tomb Raider" it wheedles.  O Rly?  Is this what you want your children to become - desecrators and defilers?
     I bet they took a long time to come up with that "Tomb Raider" title, because the real thing wouldn't sell many games, would it?  "Lara Croft GRAVE ROBBER" doesn't have quite the same ring to it.     Okay, the other way to avoid that killer hangover is to drink another 54 Jaegerbombs.

More Dam-age
Sorry, couldn't resist.  This sad tale, although redolent with destruction and damage and flooding, didn't result in any fatalities, which is unusual yet welcome for a dam collapse.
     Okay, if you Google "Broken Down Dam" then you will be shown shots of what was originally known as the Fergus Falls Dam. Let Art regale you with what it looked like when all in one piece.  Art?

Fergus Falls Dam, Condition = Whole

     This one falls under "Shoddy reconnaissance" since the dam was built on the site of a spring.  One wonders that the surveyors didn't notice how their boots were constantly wet.  Be that as it may, this spring gradually undermined the dam, until one year after construction the power-house workers arrived at work one morning to find the power-house awash.  With creditable alacrity, they skeddaddled, thus avoiding being flattened when the power-house's generator was smashed loose by a wall of water.
   Let me illustrate why it is now known as 'Broken Down Dam' - Art?

Dam: 0  Water: 150

     What's that?  You're up to Number 42 of your Jaegerbombs?  Well done!  Of course, this means to stave off this hangover, tomorrow you have to swill down 55 of the horrid chemical concoctions.

Finally - 
Before the Pond of Eden sinks between the North and Irish Seas and we become a new Atlantis, allow me to post a picture of that splendid creature, the Gabblerdictum Bird (plus owner).  Art?

The Gabblerdictum Bird and owner Husky
(who seems to be thinking about casseroles ...)

     Yes, a children's sci-fi puppet show, yet nothing to do with the futurologist Gerry Anderson.  This is from "Space Patrol", of 1963 vintage, and we may cover this programme more in future.  Depends on how much padding we need to reach count.  Where are we at the moment?  1,053 words?  Ooops!  Time to ring off, gentle readers -



*  He may glow in the dark but he'll still be there in 25,000 years time!
** Not one bit.