Bit Out Of Hell

We Aren't Experiencing This At Present -
 - but after walking Edna tonight I'd be quite happy for just such a small piece of Hades to be relocated, say about 150 yards further down Tandle Hill Road, far enough away not to be a fire risk, close enough to ensure that diligent dog-walkers are able to feel the tips of their fingers after the event - which was not the case for me tonight.  And it wasn't even windy.  Quite what conditions will be like when that least likeable of Ruffian exports, a howling wind from Siberia, comes to town is a worrying prospect.

Yeah!  Exactly like that.  Tormented souls an optional extra?

     Here an aside.  You know that iconic cover picture to "Bat Out of Hell"?  Well, it was painted by the comics legend Richard Corben, who was a frequent contributor to the pages of 'Heavy Metal'.  I can't post much of his stuff here as it tends to be NSFW (his heroes and heroines are clothing-averse), but here is a taster.  Art?  Art!

Erm - not entirely sure what's going on here.  Competitive knitting match?

     Well, now that's over, I hope you didn't think I'd cheapen myself by throwing in the cover to BOOH, in the hopes of attracting more traffic.  Instead I shall distract you by putting the motley in a cement mixer with a handful of scorpions!*

What's This?  The BBC And The Coincidence Hydra Together?
I shall add-in the Beeb stuff first, because this is another of those items that caught my eye during the day which had to be left in abeyance.  Time, don't you know.

Hmmmm.

     Apparently a team of international scientists have determined that the Yeti - shock horror SPOILERS AHEAD!!!** - does not exist.
     O Rly?  What next - water is wet, the Pope is a Catholic and the charge on an electron is a stable constant the universe over?
     Conrad is not really surprised.  All that has been produced as evidence has been proven to be fake or bits of bears.  Have a look at the Beeb article:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/42167489/its-official-scientists-conclude-there-is-no-such-thing-as-the-yeti

     Don't forget, if the Yeti did exist there would need to be a substantial population of them, NOT A SINGLE SPECIMEN all on it's own.  There would be adults and offspring, spoor***, tracks, resting places or nests, fur remnants, skeletons, evidence of grazing, stuff like that.  You know - proof!

The "Gwangi" Effect
Here's a thing.

     No, Art, no!  I mean, here's a thing in the analogy sense.  There is a trope of corny old sci-fi films, especially those cheap-ass ones from the Fifties in black and white, where the protagonists are threatened  by a monster, singular.  The Creature, one of whom came from the Black Lagoon, for example.  There was another that crept along, being known as the Electrically-Gliding - no, sorry, I got confused - being known as the Creeping Terror.
     The reason for these being solo is down to cost - after all, a Robot Monster doesn't come cheap!^  And a profound lack of knowledge about animal husbandry and sustainable population levels.
     For Conrad, the most iconic example of this is "The Valley of Gwangi", and if we throw rocks at Art he may oblige -

Thanks, Art.  Here, have some salve.

     This spectacularly daft film follows a band of cowboys who travel to Mexico and the Valley of Gwangi, because there's a monster there they can lasso and put on display at the circus.  "Monster" singular, as there's only one T-Rex present.  The last of it's species, incidentally, as it has no mate.  See what I mean about animal husbandry?  How did it ever come to exist if there are no others?  The Gwangi Effect in full play.
     Also, it seems a bit puny when pitted against modern-day firearms.  A Nitro-Express elephant gun would knock it back on it's heels, no question.

More hmmm.

     At one point a cowboy is surprised by Ol' Gwang sneaking up behind him.  One wonders how a multi-ton monster that makes the earth shake can 'sneak'; perhaps there was an excised line in the script?  Also, South Canadian cowboys have no history of attending panto, as an English cowboy would always be aware that 'IT'S BEHIND YOU!'
     Somewhat confusingly, the circus involved is also promoting an Eohippus (prehistoric ancestor of the horse) as "El Diablo", which is Spanish for Ol' Nick.  How this comparison comes about is beyond me.  Perhaps Art can illustrate an Eohippius for us -

More imp than Devil, one feels

     RUN!  FLEE! SAVE YOURSELVES FROM THE TERROR OF EL DIABLO!
     Or not.




*  Don't worry, motleys have very thick skin.
**  I realise this is very nearly Continental levels of hysteria, and I apologise, it's just that some people's sacred cows cryptozoological specimens have stature.
***  A polite way of saying "dung"
^  Actually it does.  But I like to be contrary.