High Tea Plains Drifter

Not Sure Exactly What "High Tea" Is
No sniggering double-entendres here, thank you.  BOOJUM! - Safe For Work; Sanity Questionable, but definitely SFW.
     In the spirit of enquiry, let us investigate.  Aha.  'High Tea':  A meal eaten late afternoon or early evening, which doth include TEA.  Hence today's title.
     Which has nothing to do with NON-DESTRUCTIVE BOLT TESTING!  Because - no, hang on, we're not going anywhere near there.  It sounds dull.  Instead we will look at The World's Most Boring Hobby - IMDB GOOFS AUDIT LISTING!  Yes, this is a blatant contradiction in the space of a sentence, but - whose blog is it?

A Bolt bolts

     We are concentrating our observational talents, such as they are, on "The Longest Day" and have made it to 25:39 into the film, at the point where Robert Ryan is talking to John Wayne.  Both are noted in the Goofs as being 20 and 30 years too old for their roles, which may be correct but is hardly a goof - the director has to work with the actors who have been cast, after all.  Blame casting, blame the Hollywood star system, blame the producers*, just don't list it as a Goof.

Talking Of Invasions ...
TLD is all about the actual invasion of Normandy during the Second Unpleasantness, an event entitled as "Operation Overlord" and I have recently been watching a short film on Youtube by Alternative History about the prospects of the polar opposite, "Operation Sealion"**.  This was the prospective Nazi invasion of the Allotment of Eden - or the UK to you. 

It looks peaceful - but there are 187 SAS troopers hiding here.

     "Why study what never happened?" I hear you ask.  Well, because it's such a fascinating alternative to model or speculate on.  I recently dug up an action report I'd typed whilst playing a hex-and-counter wargame of OS/US and it makes for an interesting read.  In line with most serious accounts that plot the fictional invasion, it doesn't end well for the Teutons.  They tend to finish their days bottled up in the South-East, out of ammunition and obliged to surrender.  Wargames that feature blitzkrieg across the South Downs ignore completely the enormous problems faced by the Teutons in any amphibious operation against the Allotment.

A hint: you are looking at the world's biggest anti-tank ditch

     "Oooh, are you going to detail these in an horrendously long post, Conrad?" I hear you quibble.  "Because 'Bake Off' is due on in ten minutes."
     Pausing only to call you A WRETCHED TRAITOR***, I shall indeed explicate, but only a bit at a time.  That way I can stretch the material out over several days.
     Problem the First:  Naval tradition.  The Teuton navy had no history or tradition or experience of amphibious operations, which is not a skill a navy can acquire overnight.  Not only that, their navy had taken an absolute pasting in the Norwegian campaign and their already slim stock of warships had been reduced even further.  Whereas Operation Overlord had scads of specially tailored or custom-built shipping, by the thousand, the Teutons resorted to using Rhine barges as troop transports.  Art?

Thus

     These, when loaded, had a freeboard so low that any sea-state above dead calm would have sunk them.  Which, for the troops who would have to endure an hours-long journey, would probably come as a merciful release.  Perfidious Albion's destroyers would also have been able to sink them by simply whizzing past at speed, creating a killer bow wave.
     This is not all.  None of these barges were powered, so they had to be towed by a fleet of tugs, which were supposed to co-ordinate their navigation and landing manoeuvres by loudspeaker.  Radios?  Geddoudahere! 
     Being thorough specimens of the soldierly species, the Tuetons did try a practice landing on the French coast.
     It was a disaster.  The barges turned up late, scattered, couldn't beach properly, beached far out from shore, or overturned if soldiers stood along one side.  Bear in mind this was in daylight, in good weather, and without an enemy shooting at them.
     And that's only the First Problem ...

Talking Further Of Tea
This little character has been a fixture on our fridge for lo, these many years.  Part of the background, until yesterday, when Conrad decided to examine it a little more closely, and the first thing he notes is a recipe for - Rose Petal Ice Cream.  Art?

     Note that this recipe uses very little sugar, and the custard method of making an ice cream.  They mention taking the stuff out of the freezer to stir and break up the ice crystals that form - BUT! your humble hack possesses an ice-cream maker.
     All we need now is the rose-petal tea.  Not easy to come by, to be honest. Google is my friend, I suppose.
     Watch this space!

Tea-hee, as it were

Speaking Of Which -
I do try and include an occasional reference in the blog to astronomy, as this is one of the default terms that comes up in the Facebook title page.  How fortunate I didn't describe the blog as being devoted to VICTORIAN BRASS FAUCET DESIGN! as this is a considerably narrower field.
     Anyway.  Space!  Here's an Astronomy Picture of the Day.  Art?

Wowsers!

      I already know what the swivel-eyed conspiranoid loonwaffles will be saying - "OMG!  Like NASA totally blew the Moon in half!  Also, chlorination of the water supplies is an Illuminati plot."
     Er - no.  Just - no.  This is actually a montage of the Moon at it's closest and furthest points in it's dance around Planet Earth.  These might be apogee and perigee, though I shall leave it to you to check up on those.  Don't forget to report back.
     Oh, I know what you're thinking - "Conrad and all that atom-bombing the Moon - HE'S the one responsible for splitting it apart!  Arraign him at the International Criminal Court!  Mulch him for criminal damages!  Also, chem-trails turn your tongue purple."
     Er - once again, no.  In fact, NO!  My talk of atom-bombing the Moon is FICTION.  This is not to be confused with either FACTS or REALITY^.




*  Personally, I think it all started going downhill when women got the vote.
**  Actually "Unternehmen Seelowe"
***  Or even A TRAITOROUS WRETCH.  There is a difference.
^  It's dull but you can't get away from it.