- and, although tangential, we will get back to this. Bear that in mind: barking.
Ah. Yes. Art. Clearly he has recovered from his overnight Tazer session. A refresher is therefore in order <sinister electric humming in background>.
Now, what's wrong with this photograph?
No, it's not ink. It is, in fact, evidence of a leak in my circulatory heat-exchange and fluid transport system - what you Hom. Sap. call "Blood". I had to pretend it was ink, of course, as we can't have work colleagues getting curious or suspicious. I have quite enough trouble with MI5 to begin with, not to mention those pikers at UNIT ...
Right, start up the Jumbo jet's engines and we will drop the motley into the exhaust flow*!
Shakespoke
The thoughts that strike at 6:30 ante meridian as one stands and soaks at the bus stop. From MacBeth, yet:
"Knock, knock, knock! Who's there with your knocking?"
It's Bruce Springsteen, come to do some rocking.
Oh, and he's brought along the Pope, as well.
Come to condemn you, Bill, and send you to Hell.
- which the Barm of Avon so richly deserves, in the opinion of your humble scribe.
The line above comes from MacBeth, and is spoken by the gatekeeper of some castle or other, who has been having a few crafty snorts of beer on the side. It passes for comedy in Elizabethan drama - your mileage may vary. Perhaps you had to be there?
Anyhow, as I said, a dramatic tragedy, one of the three genres Windbag Willie worked within. Those being:
Tragedy (where everyone dies at the end, usually with a bit of gratuitous cannibalism thrown in)
History (ditto, with either added incest or insanity)
Comedy (hideously unfunny, and having a character called "Bottom" is as far down the barrel's interior as you can get before hitting floorboards**).
Enough razor-sharp satire - put a scuba mask on the motley and send it to bog-snorkelling!***
| Bog snorkelling: a man's sport |
Further Of Sharks And Barks
Conrad hopes you are familiar with The Trashmen, and their seminal surf-tone hit"Surfin' Bird", which you will be familiar with because it turns up in "Full Metal Jacket" during the Hue fighting as helicopters arrive to evacuate the wounded.
"But Conrad," I hear you quibble. "What does this have to do with Carcharodon Carcharias?"
 |
| Hoovering! |
Pausing only to commend you on your grasp of Latin taxonomy, let us proceed.
The Trashmen Conrad
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird" "A-well-a, everybody's heard about the shark"
"Bird, bird, bird, bird is the word" "Shark, shark, shark, a trained shark don't bark"
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird" "A-well-a, everybody's heard about the shark"
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird" "It's welcome silence is a matter for remark"
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird" "A-well-a, everybody's heard about the shark"
"Bird, bird, bird, bird is the word" "Torment it and My! it'll leave a lasting mark"
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird" "Shark, shark, shark, it sees well in the dark"
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird" "A-well-a, everybody's heard about the shark"
"A-well-a, everybody's heard about the bird" "Shark, shark, shark, it's jaws are very stark"
 |
| Not quite what I was after ... |
What do you think? Sufficient to rehabilitate the Hoover of the Seas? They very definitely score over dogs in that you will never hear a shark whining, whimpering or barking, and they don't need several longs walks per day. Petting them is a bit dicey, mind.
| Though, if you are quick and careful - |
Cross Of Iron - The Goofs
Conrad the hair-splitting pedant rides forth again! I hope you were impressed with my previous effort, proving that at least one Goof was Incorrectly Regarded - it took a lot of back and forward using very very slow speed on the DVD, and a sufficiency of patience.
Today, we have Part 2. Don't cry, it doesn't become an adult. Okay, Art?
In the final assault, Russian soldiers are seen firing a PTRS-41 Anti-Tank rifle. The bullet fired caused, upon impact, a massive explosion killing a few German soldiers. That weapon never fired a high-explosive round, and even if it did, the caliber was way too small to create an explosion of such magnitude. The PTRS-41 fired a 14.5×114mm bullet designed for taking out early tanks and trucks.
Well well well, who's confusing cause and effect? Yes indeed, a big explosion results just after said anti-tank rifle was fired. Who says it was caused by said rifle? The whole landscape at the end of this scene is being wracked by explosions, lots of them. It is perfectly possible that the explosion bears no connection whatsoever to the anti-tank rifle, although it's a bit sneaky of Ol' Sam (the 4 bottles of whisky per day director) to allow editing like this.
 |
| Enough of strife and conflict! Here we see the Canadian Tractor Museum. |
* Don't worry, it's robust. Also the engines aren't running at full speed.
** The TV series gets a pass, as it was funny. Nor was it going for "high concept".
*** Yes, two tortures in one day. I'm horrid like that.
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