Hallowtean

Day Two Of Dogsitting
We've already been for one walk this morning, and I intend to take Edna out for another once I've posted the blog, before it gets dark.  Those of you who are responsible dog owners will understand why: once the shades of night fall, it gets rather hard to locate any <ahem> deposits left behind, especially at this point in autumn, where there are lots of fallen leaves to confuse the issue.  Art?

Sulking or sleeping?  Only you can tell!

     There she is, busy ignoring my lap or the two available dog nests present in Forward Operating Base Cholmondeley.  Unlike yesterday she wolfed her breakfast down, and so got a complimentary bit of bone to chomp on earlier today.
     With that unusually wholesome and homely Intro out of the way, let us give the motley a weekly bus pass and leave it at the bus stop*.

O Coincidence Hydra Hello Again
Well well What The Hell?  As you may be aware, over the past few days I have been contemplating humanity's relationship with the shark, which seems to have been uniformly negative, at least in the popular media.  Art?

The Whale Shark.

     Take the chap above.  Although it might look terrifying, it's actually harmless to humans - note the absence of teeth.  Take a quick look at the similes and aphorisms connected with sharks; none of them are exactly warm and snuggly.  Then you have the films that have prejudiced Hom. Sap. against our cartaliginous cousins:  Jaws, of course; Shark Attack; Open Water - a whole franchise, apparently; Deep Blue Sea; Tintorera.

Okay, this chap is dangerous.

     This is quite besides the apparently endless series of nonsensical micro-budget films where the shark is a generic hostile entity.  You wouldn't believe how many of these there are until you check on IMDB.  For a start, the Sharknado franchise is now up to number 5.  Since they're TV releases I don't know what their budget or boxoffice take is, except to note that they wouldn't keep making them unless they were profitable.  Art?

Well, who wouldn't want to see a flying shark take on a giant chainsaw?

     When I challenged folks on Facebook to name a film with benign sharks, Jacquii quoted Sharknado as evidence.  No, Jacquii, they are only benign to the producers and their wallets, not to general humanity at large.
     I don't know if the Sharktopus franchise counts as a shark film series.  But as long as you idiots out there keep watching them, they'll keep making them!

I am not often lost for words.  However -

     Sharks do actually perform a service, in that, being apex predators, they keep the food chain below them balanced and in order, especially by picking off the weak and feeble amongst their food sources.  If a shark population is depleted, shellfish-eating fish become preponderant, and you won't get your plate of whelks for tea.
     Oh, A Shark Tale doesn't count, as their sharks look stupid.

"But, Conrad, Where Does The Coincidence Hydra Come In?"
I hear you quibble.  Well, I'd been looking at the positive things that sharks have to offer the world, and then checked out Twitter, because I like to flit between things.  Art?

"My dog became a shark when I bought new carpet"

     Check out the middle Google Chrome tab - "the benefits of sharks", and then gasp in disbelief at the Coincidence Hydra's reappearance.
     I dunno, sometimes it seems safer to stay in bed.

Still Being Aquatic
Yes, back to Operation Sealion and the prospective Teuton invasion of the Allotment of Eden.
     Perfidious Albion was actually vulnerable to an airborne invasion in the summer of  1940, which was unfortunate for the Teutons, as they were in no shape to mount any such operation.  Their parachute arm had suffered heavy casualties in their operations in Scandinavia, the invasion of the Low Countries and France, not to mention the excessive losses of their Ju52 transport aircraft.

These.

     By the time the Luftwaffe had reorganised itself, Perfidious Us had taken a whole raft of precautions against airborne assault.  These included huge metal hoops placed over main roads, to prevent them being used as impromptu runways by hostile aircraft.   To prevent open fields being used for glider or aircraft landing, large stakes were erected, and in addition knackered old cars were driven onto them and left there.
     "Ah, but why not just capture an RAF airfield and fly your airborne back-up in?" I hear you ask.

An RAF airfield

     Good question!  Sadly we are already at count, and that answer requires several hundred words alone.  Later!

Finally -
Not at all sure what this is or what it does, but it looked interesting, so - Art?

World's biggest cotton-reel?

     It possesses a small gun mounted forward, so definitely military, and it has a kind of obsolete and delapidated look that says "First Unpleasantness" about it, but that's all I can tell.  No name or ID number visible on the bows, so it's unclear whose navy it belongs to.

And with that mystery I shall bid you good day and go walk Edna.  Cheerio!

*  This might seem quite lenient, but there's only one bus per hour.