Ivan The Not-So-Terrible

Yes, Back To Ol' Vanya Again
One of the complications about reading a novel written by a Ruffian (Mister Tolstoy I'm looking at you) is the naming conventions in the land of Rus.  You might get a person called Ivan Ivanov - the Ruffian equivalent of John Johnson - and that's how you'd address them formally.   If you were better acquainted then you might just call them Ivan.  If you were on manly-hugging and mutual-vodka drinking terms then you'd use a diminutive, Vanya.
     Anyway, back to yesterday and our mention of Ivan the Terrible.  Can we have a suitably grim portrait, Art?

Looking like a Doctor Who villain, there

     In fact the usual Western translation is incorrect, and a more appropriate term would be "Ivan the Formidable".  Interestingly enough the actual Ruffian phrase is pronounced "Ivan Grozny", although Conrad strongly suspects that the city of Grozny is quite underwhelmed at this coincidence - you see, other folks get the Coincidence Hydra nipping at their behinds, too. Art?

Glorious Grozny.
(nice colour scheme)

     Conrad also came across something quite remarkable yesterday, although not quite unique.  You may recall me banging on about a Czech sci-fi time-travel comedy from the late Seventies called "Tomorrow I'll Be Scalding Myself With Tea", which is well worth a watch. It's not unique because another Sinister-era sci-fi time-travel comedy from 1973 exists, titled "Ivan Vasilievich Changes Professions", which has been promoted (somewhat unethically, tee hee!) in the west as "Ivan the Terrible: Back to the Future".  Art?

"Ivan Vasilievich Menyaet Prosfessiu"

     It's a kind of comedy of errors.  It was also a huge hit in the land of Rus with 60 million admissions, and having discovered it's existence, Conrad is now going to have to try to track it down and watch it.  Subbed not dubbed, of course*.  It may have been popular because it's good - and it scores highly indeed on IMDB - or because it was either this or a 6 hour documentary about making tractor engines in the Donbas.  In black and white.
     Art?  A still, please.

If this is the land of Rus, and that's a clear liquid, then it's vodka.

     Well now, having hopefully having educated and baffled you in equal parts, let us proceed with the go-faster striped motley!

"But Daddy, I Want To Help"
"Help" spelled "obstruct".  Conrad's normal practice is to have breakfast in the kitchen at the table, especially when we are experiencing British Summer - we have to make the most of it while it lasts - and only move on when the porridge, toast and tea has been exhausted.  Now, I checked before sitting down and both Jenny and Edna were reclining on the yard flags.
     Then, enter Jenny stage right, shortly to occupy centre stage.  Art?

Damn it all, a man has work to do!

     There she lay, not willing to move for anything, purring smugly to let Edna know who had gotten star billing.

An Oblique Tribute
By now even those of you inhabiting those secret underwater apocalypse refuges on the floor of the Mediterranean - you should probably avoid ever mentioning these places in public or in view of a CCTV as They have trained lip-readers - will have learned of the death of Adam West.  Art?

Camp?  Maybe.  Entertaining?  Hell yes!

     Adam's most famous role was as Bruce Wayne, who moonlighted as Batman; somewhat obscure, but you may have heard of him.  If you aren't overly impressed by any of the live-action films, you should check out the excellent animated ones, including the Justice league versions, which would cost billions to do as a live version.
     Of course, a whole lot of unctuous media types have been praising Adam and Bruce, with all things Batman, so in typical BOOJUM! style, I thought we'd indeed have a bat-themed post, except not Batman.
     So, let me introduce - "The Black Max"!  Art?

No, it's not a small bat close up, it's a huge bat a long way off

     Black Max was Maximilien Von Klorr, whom you will have already guessed was a Teuton.  He flew for the Luftstreitkrafte - their air force of the First Unpleasantness - and, not content with shooting people thanks to machine-guns, he also carried a giant bat in his triplane, which he sent forth to also kill off people he didn't like very much.  As per the caption above he seemed to have it in for the English, so presumably any Royal Flying Corps member who was Scottish, Canadian or Australian would have been okay.

Non-verbal translation: "Curses!"

     I remember reading this in the comic "Thunder" when considerably younger than I am now, and it was unusual to have a protagonist who was one of the enemy, and to have the tale set amidst the aircraft of the First Unpleasantness.  The comic rights have been acquired by Rebellion, so there is a faint hope that a collection of "The Black Max" might yet see the light of day.

Artwork by the inestimable Eric Bradbury

     So there you go - a bat man tribute, of sorts.

     Chin chin!



*  I have film-snob chops, you know.