Hello World!

BOOJUM! Is Back

What do you mean, were we gone?  Yes we were!  There was no posting of daily words of wonder - hang on, that ought to be capitalised - Words Of Wonder - on Friday, for reasons.  I did post a link to last years nonsense for June 2nd, at which point the Coincidence Hydra came out of hiding and bit me on the nethers.  More of that later.

     "But Conrad!  What earth-shattering calamity caused you to neglect your loving public readership?  An attack of Atomic Death-Weasels?  Implosion within the fabric of the space-time continuum? Power cut?"

     None of the above.  Although an attack by Atomic Death Weasels would be pretty cool as an explanation <eyes glaze over as imagination takes over and there is a resort to Google>

Atom Death Weasel

     Ouch!  Damn, that's the Coincidence Hydra at my hindquarters again.  More of that later.

The Reason Why

Far nicer than radioactive rodents - damn it, there goes the Coincidence Hydra again! - because I had what might be called a "date" with the lovely Anna.  You remember her?  Art?

The lady in question

     You don't think I'd get a haircut for anything trivial like an upcoming interview, do you?  Anyway, that above is Anna sitting in Tampopo, which is where we went to have lunch, rather than selecting a restaurant at random.

     Another thing I discovered yesterday is that mussel shells are sharp and unyielding.  Art?

Udon noodles

     You can see the shells lined up neatly.  What I didn't realise is that part of one had broken off, until I tried eating it.  As I said, sharp and unyielding.

     Then we went to see "Wonder Woman" at the cinema, which was a real blast.  Conrad the Pedant managed to bite his tongue at the First Unpleasantness battle scenes - but no spoilers here because we love you so.

     Then it was back to The Mansion, and the weekly shopping, not to mention tea - I do need to eat, you know, or at the very least plug myself into the mains for an hour or so.

     There you go, the reason why.

About That Coincidence -

Last one first.  You may not be aware, but Conrad very rarely goes back to read what he's already written; I like to feel that here at the blog we're moving forward and making progress.  So it was rather unusual for me to re-read a post from exactly 2 years ago, except I was posting a link to it instead of having Friday's Words Of Wonder.  

     What was I complaining about then?

Saw an especially stupid bus poster this morning for Vita Coconut Water.  Of course this means I can't find a copy of it anywhere, so here's the line:

Where do we get our coconut water from?

The coconuts.

     With all the air of profound wit and wisdom.
     Coconuts.  Really.   

A 1972 Ford Cortina sump

     How unexpected!  I would have imagined your coconut water came from draining the sumps of 1970's vintage Ford Cortinas, or from squeezing the life out of Syrian Sentient Milkshakes*, or possibly scraped from the skin of exotic day-glo blue Brazilian tree-frogs.  Instead it comes from - get this! - Coconuts.

     And what came up as an advert on television at that very moment?  No!  Not 'Sprong' - Coconut Water.

Coconuts.  Just so we're clear

More Of Coincidence

Really, Universe, can't you just send me a Tweet instead of twisting causality's coat-tails?

Just as I am about to bang on about Kopparberg Fruit Lager, a 409 bus goes sailing by with that very same poster on.

     "Is this relevant?" I hear you quibble.  "Disgusting concept though it is."

     Well yes.  Because two years ago I was expostulating about how horrible an idea Fruit-flavoured lager was.  And those posters are back on buses again, so Conrad assumes it's a bit of a hard sell.

Akvavit.  A proper Scandinavian drink.

Perfidious Albion

Watch out for those nice pleasant British gentlemen wearing bowler hats, and especially if they're wearing a carnation.  Let me introduce you to Amiton Oxalate, which is really incredibly toxic stuff.  Very very poisonous indeed, and originally created as a pesticide; it was also quickly 'acquired' by the British government for use as a nerve gas.

     "Oh we don't like nerve gas after all," declared HM Government a couple of years later.  "We'll give it up."

     And they did, kind of - well - actually they swapped it with the South Canadians for lots of juicy information about thermonuclear weapons.

Nerve gas and nukes are not very pleasant, so here's a field of daisies instead