Doomsday! - Er - Delayed

Sorry To Dash Your Hopes
 - I know a lot of people out there simply thirst for a chance to cast off the trappings of civilisation, enslave the neighbours and declare your own pocket republic; but mind out for those packs of feral dogs.  
     Yes, Doomsday - or "Dommesdag" as they say in Norway - is quite the opportunity for those wishing to thumb their nose at what they like to call "teh gubmint"*. So, having it postponed can be a bit of a downer.
     "What is he banging on about now?" I hear you quaver.  "Surely there can't be any mileage left in 'The Sum Of All Fears'?"
     Hmmm, dunno about that, I'm sure I could squeeze a few more Goofs out of it - but no, this is not about TSOAF, which only approaches Doomdsay without ever getting there.
     No, I refer to that Fifties classic, "When Worlds Collide", because their mathematics don't add up.  Perhaps Art can set the scene?

Fifties sci-fi goodness

     Now, it is true that Conrad is a poisonous old hair-splitting pedant - all my best qualities! - but he does so like to get the facts correct, all the more so when a film boldly makes an assertion.
     Assertion 1)  "The star Bellus has travelled a million miles in two weeks."
     Okay, that makes it verrrrrrrrrrrry slow for an astronomical body.  Under 3,000 miles per hour**.
     Assertion 2)  "They are 3 billion miles away."
     Let me now show you one of the unsung heroes of WWC - the "DA".

No!  Not a District Attorney - a Differential Analyser

     This is a mechanical analogue computer, very very state-of-the-art in 1951.  This, lest you be confused, is the year WWC was released - not just chosen at random.  I do have a method.  You have to make do with a photograph as there isn't enough time to muck around with screenshots uploaded to Google.  The end result of all those cogs and gears is below -

A giant Etch-a-Sketch!

     Where was I?  O yes.  Well, Doctor Hendron boldly announces that there are only 8 months to go before Earth gets turned into a marshmallow by the rogue star Bellus - which is where the maths doesn't add up, because by those figures it would take over a century for Bellus to arrive.
     So - Doomsday, delayed.  I do so like to be - precise.

A Bit More Batter And Butter
Ha!  Sometimes I amuse even me.  Back to 'FattenFilmOrMusic' on Twitter, because I like gloasting about my ability with words.

Yellow Submarine Roll

Journey to the Centre of the Girth

Manos, the Hands of Fat

Frankfurterstein

The Wild Brunch

Escape from LATTE

Escape from New Pork

Deep Fried Purple In Rock

Die Lard

The King's Peach

The Evil Bread

     That makes about 20 in total, and that's all he wrote.  At least until the next inspirational Twitter feed appears ...

Devil dough

Back To Clerihews
You know I like to go with a theme for these, because that takes a tad of the heavy lifting out of creativity.  Ah me yes, the creative process <Mister Hand redacts a lot of self-promoting scrivel where Conrad stands alongside the literary greats> and Dickens.
     So - today we go with - Evil Dictators of Fiction.  Take it away, humble scribe!

Emperor Ming

Liked shaving.

So he kept his head completely bald,

Which kept his brains nicely cold.

Okay, maybe it was Male Pattern Baldness

     Perhaps that explains his chilly and ruthless attitude?  That, or he didn't have enough hugs from Mummy when he was little.

Emperor Palpatine

Is recent in time.

He only appeared in the Eighties;

As a villain, he's one of the laties.

     He's a bit dull, frankly, compared to his killer minion Darth Vader, who has a more imposing voice, better skills with a light-sabre, and a cooler costume.  You can call it a uniform if you wish, it's still a costume.  With a cape.

Khan Noonian Singh

Liked fighting.

So he got stuck in a space freezer,

For being a rambunctious geezer.

     Hmm.  All true, and not even slightly insulting.

The space freezer

I now have to take my leave - there's tea to get et, and studying for an interview tomorrow, and a phone call to see if Pub Quiz is on or not - o the heady social whirl of my life.


*  I'm not mocking them too much, they tend to have lots of guns.
**  None of that metric nonsense here!