A New Map Of "Hello!"

Are You Paying Attention?
For your sake, and that of your future descendants, I hope so - a history of reading BOOJUM! is all that's going to keep you out of the organ-banks or the mind-control mines after my invasion fleet gets here.
     But enough of your horribly unpleasant future prospects!  I also hope that you noticed today's title is subtly different from yesterdays, yet similar enough to make you ponder exactly what I wrote yesterday.

Coming soon ...

     It's additionally an excuse to gloast a bit about your humble scribe being both long in the tooth and still fairly cognizant of how to Find Things Out.  There was an advert, you see, and I liked the backing music, from which I could only distinguish the word "Hello".  This was expressed in such a bouncy, jaunty manner that you have to add an exclamation mark thus: "Hello!"
     Which is where today's title originates.  Not bad for an 187 year old man, hmmm*?
     
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kK42LZqO0wA

     That's the video with the whole song present - Martin Solveig and "Hello!" which I discovered by Googling whatever the advert was trying to pimp - sadly unsuccessfully as it has completely slipped my mind.
     The video is rather amusing - MS is not at all precious and is mocked convincingly as a tennis player.

The chap in question

Now For - Irony!
No!   This isn't one of the Extremely Hazardous Substances that I've been banging on about lately.  Irony - you know, the humourous reversal of expectations.  I've decided to tackle the Lakeland Poets, who will probably come back from the dead to curse me thanks to my mildly mocking clerihews.  Let the nonsense begin!

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Dined always on venison.

This made him write poetry oh-so stuffy.

If you criticised it, he got rather huffy.

Venison

        Probably untrue - ALT's early career was not feted with an abundance of money, so if he ate anything it was probably suet pudding and pease pottage.  You are, if you hail from the Allotment, familiar with his "Charge of the Light Brigade", which is part of our uniquely British way of celebrating having done something spectacularly badly.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Was adept at contract bridge.

He could have been a successful gambling man.

Instead, he wrote "Kubla Khan".

     I'm not sure about the first part of this one.  When did bridge originate as a game?  <checks> ah, the late 19th Century.  And matey coughed it in 1834.  He did, however, write that poem.  And it's a clerihew, so who cares about accuracy?

Art!  You baffoon -

Percy Bysse Shelley

Loved eels in jelly.

He forced them on his wife at lunchtime,

Which caused her to go write "Frankenstein".

     Given his frightfully advanced views on society and morals, I rather doubt that Percy would have forced his wife to eat anything quite as grim as jellied eels.  Pate de foie gras - that, perhaps.

Mary Shelley

Ate only vermicelli.

She thought if her food was thin,

It would stop her waist expandin'

     Once again this is doubtless incorrect, as all those drug-sodden deviants poets were able to stay slim by drinking laudanum instead of eating.  Poets - bah!

Quite right

The Triumph Of Hope Over Reality
Yestereven Conrad was out walking Edna Wunderhund when he espied something curious taking place on the other side of the road.  There was a small girl of possibly teen years, a husky and a wheeled sled.  Art?

Pretty close 

     She persisted in tying the sled to the husky by a cord, and trying to get it to move forward.  The dog would reluctantly trot a few steps; then when the small girl got on the sled, the husky would go on strike.  This is probably a good thing, since without a proper harness that sled would get pulled out of kilter, depositing small girl on her delicate behind.
     Still, it was very amusing to watch.  Schadenfreude, one might say.

The Triumph Of Content Over Brand
Your humble hack was idly watching television yesterday, and an advert came up that quite puzzled me.  It seemed to be set on the Moon, except one of the people walking around was wearing lace-up trainers - as any fule kno, fabric will not survive the extremes of temperature on the Moon's surface, and they probably aren't rated as suitable wear for plodding about on the regolith.  Not only that, I don't know what they were trying to sell.  The legend at end was "Bravia Oled".  Was it about trainers?  Television monitors?  Global warming?  Mobile phones?  A huge black monolith discovered - oh, sorry, that was "2001".
     Who knows**!

This makes exactly as much sense as the advert

*  Okay, okay, that's an exaggeration: 185.
**  Yes, I could Google but I can't be bothered.