The Effect Of Intellect

Apologies To Those Who Want Atom Bombs
Or zombies.  I can give you a picture of the Trifid Nebula, however, thus satisfying that wretched Facebook default description that inevitably includes "astronomy".

There you go, Facebook

     The name did not come from John Wyndham, it merely means "Having three lobes".  What, then, I wonder, does "Trilobite" mean?

Trilobite Trilobite, burning in the forests of the night - no, hang on -

     I doubt any of you out there are thirsting to know about the rationale behind BOOJUM! which is fair enough, if you read it and find it either entertaining or amusing then it's Mission Accomplished.  However, as a man never happy unless he has something to be worried about, Conrad does ponder and wonder if people reading this find it elitist, snobby or pretentious?
     I have seen a critic describe Mervyn Peake's "Gormenghast" novels as "a rich wine of fantasy", whereas this blog is more like a glass of flat lager shandy that someone put a cigarette out in.  With a dead fly at the bottom.
     That mention of zombies in the very first sentence ought to torpedo any ideas that BOOJUM! exists to laud Conrad's IQ to the heavens, as would his mention of enjoying cheesy old black and white Fifties sci-fi films.  That said, I do value the grey cells and what they get up to - Art?

Proof of clevah

    Conrad remembers his old manager asking if he'd rather keep his mind intact or have the looks of David Beckham?  For the lad, bless him, is not renowned as an intellectual fireball - I am told, for my knowledge of football is limited to the fact that there are two teams and a pig's bladder.  "My mind!" I replied.  "Even if it means staying like this!"
     I'm sure there's a Woody Allen joke in there, if you look hard enough.
     Anyway, that's how it is.  If you don't like it, remember my starship invasion force will be here by 2147 and your ancestors only chance of survival is claiming that Great-great-grandaddy was a big fan of BOOJUM!
     You have been appropriately cautioned.

"Curmudgeon"
One consequence of having a mind that never stops working, even when asleep*, is a curiosity about things that crop up in day-to-day life.  Elsewhere this is often taken to be "Observational comedy" but here it usually comes under the heading "Malleting First Bus and Why They Cannot Tick All Three Boxes", with exceptions.
     Hence the title.  Beth asked me on Friday if I was going to the office party - I did a double take because the girl looked strikingly attractive after getting ready** - and my response was "No, because I'm a horrid old curmudgeon".

Curmudgeon in Full Grump

     We both then wondered where the name comes from.  To be clear, it means a person of miserly or grumpy aspect, and the derivation seems unclear.  Doctor Johnson, who invented the modern dictionary you know, had that it was a mispronunciation of "coeur mechant" or French for "Unknown Correspondent".  Quite how that works out to be a grim, grey-haired grumpy guy escapes me, but hey ho.

Ergotism
NO!  Nothing to do with having an overdeveloped sense of self-worth.  You should read slowly and carefully, the way you chew your food, not bolt it like a hungry dog.  Yes, Edna, I'm looking at you!
     "Ergotism" is a condition of being poisoned by Ergot, a fungus that grows on certain cereal crops.  It was quite common in the Middle Ages and is another reason, apart from  flushing toilets, that we should be grateful for living in the best of times.

Caution!  That black blob will fire you up!

     One name for it was "Saint Anthony's Fire" and this Saint Tony must have been quite the targe, as the symptoms include violent nausea and vomiting, hallucinations, itching and burning skin and gangrene.  Oh, and death as well.
     I mentioned LSD in an earlier post, and one of the constituents of the drug is ergot, the substance that causes the above.
     Food for thought***!

Colour Conrad Confused
If you were told that a mountain range existed, and they were called "The Mountains of the Moon" then naturally you'd expect to see them as a backdrop in the documentary "2001: A Space Odyssey", wouldn't you?
     Well, apparently not.  Cue the Rwenzori Mountains, a.k.a. The Mountains of the Moon.  Art?

I feel cheated somehow

     I think we can all agree that there's a complete lack of lunar regolith, black monoliths and men with strange zero-g cameras.  Oh, this also allows me to underline the "Astronomy" bit of Facebook's default.  Art?

Evidence

     Stanley Kubrick's legendary documentary has only ever been bettered by those filmed by John Carpenter, who is lucky to be alive considering how dangerous his subject matter was.

Finally
I may be an old curmudgeon but some people like me.  Either they have an excess of sympathy or I have hidden depths.  What do you say, Anna?

     There you go, that's good enough for me <leaps into air, clicks heels together, falls heavily and sprains ankle>


*  It's a curse, I tell you, a curse.
** She's normally only attractive.  I shall stop now before getting into trouble.
*** Do you see what I did there?  That's raw intellect at work, mate!