How A Flop Can Be Top

It Can Be If Featured On "The Flop House"
I think I proved my status as a creature of habit by going to the same hairdresser for 20 years, and here I am returning to the theme of TFH, which I have mentioned before.  On a long, lightless, wet journey into life's dark centre of misery work it really lifts the spirits to hear the trio of Dan, Stuart and Elliott laughing madly at each other.  I dare say they make notes on the films they watch, which means they actually finish their review, yet they go off on multiple tangents along the way.  I like that and practice it myself, regularly, as you will see later.

http://www.flophousepodcast.com/

     Conrad burst out laughing, then and later - which caused trouble in the office as it upsets the nervous if they hear him giggling to himself - when they described Mickey Rourke in "Passion Play" as a "mumbling sack", which is cruel but accurate, like a lot of comedy your humble scribe likes.  I will leave it to your imagination as to what the sack is filled with, though potatoes seems like a fair guess.

As seen in "The Expendables" - no, hang on -

     Also, Elliott kept mispronouncing Rhys Ifans' name, saying "Riz" when it should be "Reese".  I will forgive him, though, because he later mentioned Poly Styrene and X Ray Spex, whom I didn't think he'd be young enough to know about*.  He also mentioned an actress called Misty Mundae, though given the nature of the films she has appeared in I think it best to advise AGAINST Googling for her at work ...
     The risk here, of course, given your modest artisan's twisted intellect, is that he ends up deliberately seeking these films out - you know, just to see if they're as bad as advertised.

Polystyrene

What The Heck -
 - John Steinbeck?  I have mentioned before about that never-ending party in my head, which may tone it down a bit but never switches off, and last night proved it, because when I woke up the word "Rennko" popped up in the middle of the mental landscape.
     Where it came from and why is a mystery.  Yes, I did Google for it and the only result was an artist on DeviantArt whose work was not familiar to me.
     Of course, it could be an hideous mish-mash of Ren, from "Ren and Stimpy" and that British television drama set in a Japanese POW camp, "Tenko".
     On the other hand, I may be over-thinking this ...



Howard Devoto And The Arab-Israeli Wars
More Seventies punk, lucky you.  Howard was the original singer in seminal Manchester punks The Buzzcocks, before going on to form New Wave band Magazine, where he sang "Shot By Both Sides", and I deliberately went and checked Youtube, because although the lyrics read "Shot by both sides", he actually sings "Shot, shot by both sides".  That will become important later.

Ah, what sweet music - wait a minute - ART!

     Now, we return to the Centurion tank**.  You will remember that this splendid beast of the battlefield was purchased by the Israelis, who called it "Sho't", which means "Flail" in Hebrew.  You may be unaware that it was also purchased by Jordan, who recognised quality when they saw it.

Jordanian Centurion with small child added for scale

     These two countries were occasionally at loggerheads and Conrad is pitching a scenario where two armoured battlegroups, one from each country, are deployed along their common border.  One Israeli Centurion ends up in the No Man's Land between both forces and heads back for it's own side.  The Israelis, thinking it to be an attacking Jordanian Centurion, open fire on it.  The Jordanians, knowing it to be an enemy tank, also open fire on it.
     So, you could say it was -ahem - a "Sho't shot by both sides".
     Thank you, thank you, all my own work.


Hexyl Cinnamal
It sounds like a curse, doesn't it?  One can imagine the three witches in "MacBeth" - hang on, why am I mentioning Shakespeare?  I hate him!  
     Begin again.  One can imagine the witches in "The Witches" - by Roald Dahl you know, who flew into the jaws of death with the RAF and who is immeasurably more entertaining than the Barb of Avon - chanting this as they hurl newts and spiders and puppy dog tails into an industrial blender***.
     Well, one can imagine that but one would be wrong.  It's derived from camomile and is used as a fragrance in perfumes.
     Bah!  Real life, you are boring!

You dare mention anything nasty  about a "little dog", madam, and Wonder Wifey will gut you with a salad spoon.

*  A British punk band of the late Seventies and rather obscure
**  See?  Tangents.  Love 'em.
***  No cauldrons any more.  Thank the Health & Safety Executive for that