Apostrophe Catastrophe!

Well - Kind Of
In the sense of it being sort of crucial in a later post as to whether a title is merely plural or comes with an apostrophe, that most innocent of punctuation marks in the English language.  Here is an example: '
     There you go.
     I realise some of you out there may not be <ahem> au fait* with the finer points of English grammar and punctuation, so allow me to explain that an apostrophe is used in two ways: i)  To define possession e.g. "The nuclear howitzer round was Ron's" or ii) An abbreviated "Is" e.g. "Ron's a bit of a git for hoarding his nuclear howitzer rounds."
     Don't worry, Spectrum swooped in and Ron no longer has any extra-ordinarily bad ammunition.  In fact, Ron's in trouble deep, and Ron's prison sentence is likely to be extra-ordinarily long.

This is Ron.  Ron Post.  He is highly likely to possess a nuclear howitzer/ 

     There you go.  BOOJUM! - explaining the peculiarities of the English language.
     Now, on with the motley!

Let Us Be Clear
Conrad, as you may have noticed, is an hair-splitting pedant of incredible pettiness, and those are merely two of my better qualities.  Thus I have been wondering about a few song lyrics heard of late, especially Goldfrapp's "Caravan Girl" from the album "Seventh Tree".  It's a rocker of a track, all the more surprising for being a complete contrast to the rest of the album.  Anyway, my question is, - Who?

"What is her name?

That caravan girl.

What is her name?"

No, Art!  Even if they do look long-haired and girlish

     
Well, Alison - Alison Goldfrapp, the lady who wrote and sings the song - you should know, shouldn't you?  You wrote the song, after all.

"You like the sun.

A hazy day.

What is her name?"

Closer but still - no cigar and a tazering to boot

     Alison!  What's the point of asking us the audience!  You're the one who invented this 'Caravan Girl', make your mind up about what her name is!  Sheesh.  Hang on, what's this?

"The food and game

That stranger on the hill.

What is her name?"

     O I give up, now you're just being silly.  If you can't be bothered giving the poor girl a name, I shall christen her "Ventspilimingia" and good luck rhyming that with anything.

Er - I Googled "Ventspilimingia" and this came up.

     I did mention "Who" above, didn't I? and this is yet another example of how fearfully clever we here at BOOJUM! think we are.  For let us examine those pertinent lyrics to The Who's "Won't Get Fooled Again".  I realise this song deals with revolutionary politics, but it does have a killer organ line so that's okay.

"Though I know that the hypnotised never lie"

     Ah, now, Pete - that's Pete Townsend, who wrote the song and lyrics, just so we're clear I'm not talking about any random Pete, or Pete Tong or Pete Gabriel - you might be a whiz on the synthesizer keyboard, and hot stuff at whacking out power chords, but I fear you are somewhat misinformed about human psychology.  The hypnotised don't actually lie, they can merely recount completely incorrect memories with complete sincerity.  The human mind is not a camera, despite what Christopher Isherwood believed.

I'm cheating a bit, because IAAC was actually a play

BOOJUM! Reviews Films The Conrad Way
I should explain that the blog looks at films in one of two ways:  either in some detail because we've seen and enjoyed it, or as a cursory and dismissive aphorism based on a bus poster seen fleetingly for five seconds. Let us proceed with the second variety!
     "A Monster Calls":  Oh, it does, does it?  How very thoughtful of the Monster.  Let me make a huge leap in assumption and guess that this Monster is BAD.  Let me also make another assumption and guess that it is STUPID, too.  Because all that high-decibel calling is going to warn off all it's potential victims.

A Monster Can.  Will that do?

     "Assassin's Creed": Conrad would expect an assassin's creed to be elegantly simple: "KILL".  Or, if you wish to be slightly more refined:"KILL TARGET".  I am glad that I got the opportunity whilst sitting in the Spice Lounge to view the bus posters advertising this film, as I could then confirm that we are dealing with a Creed that is the possession of Assassins, rather than a lot of Assassins having a Creed.  I suppose if these assassins were at all eager then you could describe them as having Assassin's Creed Feed Greed, Indeed.

A Mass In Scree.  Close enough.

     "Passengers":  Sorry, the irony of seeing this advert on the side of a First Bus caused me to nearly inhale my Balti Exotica, and the choking fit that ensued meant I don't want to revisit the horror.  Maybe tomorrow.

                                 Passengers!

Finally
This photo might well be dubbed "Pooch on the Mooch".  Edna hurled the door to my Upstair Lair open and promptly made for the bed, as there was an opened packet of crisps lurking atop it.  Art?

Sniffin' for the tiffin

*  Apologies for using French in an item about English, but we do enjoy being turvy-topsy** here you know.
**  See?