"Send The Bolts Of Lightning ..."

Although, Said Conrad -
 - in a disgruntled voice, I don't suppose that will resonate with the youth of today.  Their parents, perhaps, yet not the audience demographic of those aged 18 - 24 that all the advertising companies aim for.
     If you are wondering, it's a line from one of the biggest hits in the British singles charts ever, both in terms of sales, critical assessment and cultural impact: "Bohemian Rhapsody" by Queen.  Conrad is not over fond of them, although props to guitar player Brian May for being an Astrophysics graduate, yet even he likes this song.  Art?

There you go

     Just in case you were living in one of the off-world colonies for the past 42 years, the line goes:

"Send the bolts of lightning,

Very very frightning"

     As indeed they are.
     Now, having established that, let us, with typical BOOJUM! aplomb, leap immediately to a completely different subject*:  Strategic Bomber Interception.

English Electric
No, this is not someone who supplies what are rather horridly called "Utilities" in the modern world.  Rather - am I impressing you with my sheer Britishness again? - they were an aerospace firm who built the English Electric Lightning.  As a company they were later subsumed into British Aerospace but they did have their own corporate identity before that.
     "I'm confused," I hear you complain.  "From rock bands to jet aircraft."
     Okay, I admit the link is a bit thin, but allow me to add a few layers of adhesive anecdote.
     The design spec for the Lightning was that it needed to intercept manned Sinister bombers armed with nuclear weapons before they got to unload their payload on the Pond Of Eden*.  
     Hang on, allow Art to illuminate us.

Lightning ready to strike.  Do you see - O you do.

     This aircraft, as you can see, was basically a gigantic jet engine with a cockpit stuck on as an afterthought.  Actually it was two engines, one mounted atop the other, because, really, you can never have too much jet engine.  It had a phenomenal rate of climb, which is what the design spec called for.  
     The idea was that radar would pick up Sinister bombers headed for Hampton Dibney, the SCRAMBLE SCRAMBLE SCRAMBLE alarm would go out and a couple of Quick Reaction Alert Lightnings would come rocking out of the hangar, bang off the runway into the wild blue way-out-yonder and either gently turn our frengers aside, or - if things had gone hot - blow them out of the sky.

Two chums of the airways

      That "phenomenal rate of climb"?  I can personally attest to this.  Mid-afternoon, cycling to my summer job at the bakery in Lytham, I happened to spot a Lightning flying out towards the Irish Sea.  This was not uncommon at the time as there were three separate British Aerospace sites nearby at Preston, Freckleton and Warton.
     After flying along at low level, the Lightning suddenly sat on it's tail and BANG went rocketing skywards to be lost to view within seconds.  This is mightily impressive to someone proceeding along under pedal power at about 10 mph.

Taking The Biscuit
Since Darling Daughter is a grown adult with her own life, accommodation and relationships, Conrad does not see her too often, so he makes the most of when he does, especially if she comes bearing gifts.  In this case, as she is working gainfully - other idle students reading this take note of her sheer conscientious diligence*** - at Millie's Cookies in the Arndale Centre.  I'm not sure if "Millie's" is apostrophised or not, so I took the liberty.
     Anyway, here is the gift she most welcomely brought home:

Whistling non-pervy snowman

     There isn't anything to give a sense of scale here, so let me inform you that this cookie  is about a foot across.  Twelve inches, and I am not going to translate into horrid metric measurements, for this is BOOJUM! and we only ever do Imperial.

Finally
I always like to finish with a cuddly animal, although my Inner Evil sometimes comes to the fore and you get a decaying vampire bunny or my parents instead (the rabid weasels, do keep up!).  Today, however, I have made an effort and we have - Edna!  Art?

Chewing the textile, not the fat

     It's not immediately obvious from the photo, for which I apologise, but she was whizzing around like an Olympic athlete on crank so it was difficult to get a decent shot.  Anyway, here she is, contentedly chewing the living daylights out of a fabric Gingerbread Man.  Any approach to her was met with growling and a rapid dash to safety.  She - er - bolted with the speed of - ah - lightning.
     Which is where we came in.



*  This is how we do things here.  Get used or get out!
**  Pond as it is very wet today.
***  Going for the British vocabulary here.  Can you tell?