I Craft A Draft

Here's One I Made Earlier
Only generations of those raised on a diet of 'Bleep And Booster' and "sticky-backed plastic" will know what on earth your humble scribe is rabbiting on about now. 

A touching example of alien-human friendship

      I refer, of course, to that icon of the Beeb, "Blue Peter" which, somewhat confusingly to the foreign audience, only once featured a presenter called Peter (Peter Purves), and none of them were blue.  There was a ship, which was blue, although it wasn't called Peter either.  I think a "Blue Peter" is the flag flown by a ship when loading explosive ordnance, or if the crew have cholera, something like that.

One of these is surely called Peter?

     Having cleared that up, I am describing what used to happen during that part of the programme which might best be described as "making tat from rubbish".  Valerie or John would show you how to make a spectacularly unsafe candle-holder from broken lighters and TNT, cheating by producing the finished product from beneath a table with the cunning and untrue statement "Here's one I made earlier".

Evidence I am not raving.  Much.

     And so to this.  Because I am working late on Friday I shall not hail home until 7:20, and then have the weekly shop to do, meaning I probably won't sit down to type until 9:00, ending up posting the latest installment of The Party Going On In My Head by 10:00.  Which is a bit late for those out there thirsting for a bit of silly whimsy*.  I am typing this out shortly before departing for Pub Quiz, where - and I love typing this out each week - I am the youngest person in the room.
     I am now typing this early next morning, having got up specially early to tap away on the keyboard, so 
     - here's one I prepared earlier -


The Hideous Coincidence Hydra
If you are new here, as so many are, then you may not be aware of the positive menagerie of animal life associated with BOOJUM!  There is Clarissa the Cannibal Combat Chicken, the frightening offspring of science, nature and MacDonalds; if you see her coming, RUN!  

Watch out, puny humans!

Then too we have Tony the Ten Ton Terror Toad; he squashes things.  It's possible he only weighs nine tons, except it's unwise to hang around in order to ask.  Third in line is Frank the Ferociously Farting Frog, a real gas at parties.  At this time  of year we also get Wally the Wall-eyed Wonder Weasel, who wonders westwards wearily, woefully, wistfully in a Wolverhampton winter wonderland.

Cute - but deadly.

     Before you call the RSPCA, rest assured that we have licences for all these dungeon denizens of The Mansion, all of them bar the Coincidence Hydra.
     "Oooh!  What's that!" I hear you call.  "Tell us, Conrad, please do!"
     This is an unlovely beast that insists on fastening it's metaphorical teeth firmly in your humble scribe's behind on a regular basis, as it did last night at Pub Quiz.
     You may recall that I'd mentioned a couple of very old Gerry Anderson television programmes, "Four Feather Falls" and "Torchy The Battery Boy" in last night's blog.  Believe me, these are not subjects that come up in conversation.
     " rhubarb rhubarb FOUR FEATHER FALLS -" said the chap at the next table, causing your humble scribe to jerk awake and look at him in utter astonishment.  
     Wow, those teeth are sharp -

"Ask A Korean"
Your modest artisan comes across odd sites now and then as he trawls the internet for research and funny pictures not in copyright.  Thus I was trying to find pictures of Koreans rioting - you know, as they might do in North Korea when the BBC World Service starts broadcasting "The Archers" at them - and I came across Ask A Korean's blog.

Korean tank

http://askakorean.blogspot.co.uk/

     He doesn't compose with the appalling regularity of us here, but then again his stuff is a lot more serious.  Not po-faced, though.
     What I liked about his blog is how he puts across his terms of operation.  "Arbitrary and capricious" or in other words "As, what and when I feel like it", which is pretty much how we operate here.  Hail fellow author!  He also maintains a policy of anonymity, as do I, except for the "Conrad" bit.

A Korean bank

Well, there we are, nearly at count and only a few pictures to load.  Forward planning, eh?



*  BOOJUM!  You know, what you're reading RIGHT NOW.