Remarks On Sharks

Yes, Really

Ah, yes, sharks.  What do we think of sharks?

     NO, Anna, NO!  
     Sharks are thoroughly Bad.  They are merely a mobile appetite with teeth attached.  It's debatable as to whether or not they make good pets as they require a considerable body of salt water to swim around in.   Shall we give them the benefit of the doubt?  Okay, just don't go petting any.  Although you could still access BOOJUM! with only one hand.
     Moving swiftly and unpredictably onwards, as is our wont, let us refer back to "Thunderball" as this is a film with LOTS of sharks present, each of which possesses an awe-inspiring array of dental hardware.  

Foolish humans!

This is one reason Sean Connery (the Bond of that time) didn't wish to swim around in a confined space with lots of these fang-filled fishes*.  Sharks aren't known for being amenable to training.  

Sean and shark

     And lo, a transparent plastic plexiglass screen was installed between Sean and the toothy torpedo.  Everyone is happy.
     Except - you may have guessed how this is going - except that Ken Adam, the designer, didn't have enough plexiglass to complete the whole enclose, leaving a gap.  The shark went unerringly for the gap and sailed through it, coming into very close proximity to Sean.  That look of horror on his face?  Not acting.

Sean and shark.  Close friends

From "Bombed" To Bond in 007 Seconds
Yes indeed.  The peace and tranquility of my lunchtime was spoiled interrupted by the arrival of that tumultuous trio of Tom, Russ and Dee.  Tom, bless him, was not well and exhibited all the animation and brio of a tranquilised limpet.  Apparently, being stricken with a dose of Minor Bubonic Plague will do that to you. With hideous irony he was left with Conrad for cheering up.  Conrad, that is, the steely of eye and flinty of heart, so our lad continued being fretful and unwell with his Minor Bubonic Plague.

Tonight's dinner.
No!  No, sorry, I mean these helped transmit the Bubonic Plague.

     Until, that is, Russ mentioned a forgettable film in the pages of The Metro.  I won't name it, because that way I can reserve it for another post.  Anyway, Russ declared that it had "Bombed", which is English argot for not doing at all well at the box office**.
     Conrad, ever ready with a witty quip if only people would realise that's what they are, came back with a remark about "Bond".  James Bond, not Brooke Bond the tea.
     Here an aside.  There was always a lot of product placement in the Bond films.  I wonder, did Brooke Bond ever try that?  Then James could drink splendidly British tea, learn to love it and we'd have a Bond-Bond Bond.

Proof I speak the truth.

     Back to the scheduled nonsense.  Tome abruptly became a fiercely ardent proponent of the merits of various Bond films, and their soundtracks, and the actors, and indeed he appeared to shed the chains & shackles of illness with considerable vigour as he argued vehemently with Russ on the theme.
     What will really cheer him is that I said I'd write about him in the blog, but perhaps I should have warned him about the mollusc comparison.  What do we think?

     Okay, I think I dodged the bullet on that one!

I Say, What?
Conrad not entirely sure why he took this screenshot, since he is a massive coward when the subject of spiders comes up.  If you wish to amuse yourself at the sight of a gentleman of advanced years squealing like a terrorised schoolgirl, simply drop a spider on him.  Any size will do.  Be warned, anything as big as the below might have you up on charges of manslaughter.

Nope.  Ain't going to enlarge it.

The Thing Is -
You know that terrifying documentary from John Carpenter?  Obviously none of the survivors who got away were infected, because here we are thirty years later and Hom. Sap. is doing fine.  A couple of film critics have a theory about this ...

Cinephiles of the highest order

     Mac is about to take a swig from a bottle of Molotov cocktail, when he realises that Childs is behind him.  Art?

Molotov cocktail = "Home-made napalm"

     When they sit down, Mac offers Childs the bottle.  Childs takes a drink of it.

"Hmmm, aftertaste of peach and clover"

     Obviously this reveals what he is, and Mac probably just threw a match at him.

Finally
You know I like weasels, well say hello to the Weasel Shark:

"Squeak squeak!"

*  Yes I KNOW they're not fishes, I'm going for alliteration here.
** Opening weekend total take = £87.82