Te Fala Dhe Urime!

Or, "Greetings And Felicitations!"
In Albanian.  Why Albanian?  Why not!  We here at BOOJUM! take our mission to educate very seriously, and you now know four more words from The Land Of The Eagle than you did five minutes ago.

Tirana!  Bustling international metropolis.  Kinda.

     Tirana = capital city of Albania.  
     Let us move on.  There is a saying, "Never look a gift horse in the mouth", which is wise indeed, for it might bite you, horses being the wicked carnivores they are*.  Of course, standing at the end opposite the teeth can also be unwise, as you might get kicked.  Or is it trampled?  Conrad not big on equestrian facts.  Unwell in a major way, at least.

Horses four courses?  I count at least nine

     "Where is this leading?" I hear you question.  "It can't be up the garden path because you don't have a garden."
     Leaving aside the fact that Wonder Wifey would dispute this vehemently, I shall hold forth**.
     By the gift horse, I am referring to the blog's sudden increased popularity, principally due to an influx of South Canadians.
     Why should this be? mused your humble scribe, which alarmed the other people in the cafe.  Oops.  Talking to self.
     Well, of late there has been much of Politicking in the air, which can get a bit wearing after a while.  Rather like that scene in "Withnail And I" where I's face aches because he's smiling so much.  BOOJUM! is obviously an oasis of utter tosh without any redeeming values, and thus a welcome refuge from both Politics and Current Affairs.  Round here we're verrrry suspicious of anything that doesn't begin "19-".

Early Byzantine - dangerously contemporary, in my opinion

     Then, too, Conrad is careful only to mock the South Canadians in a gentle fashion.  This is prudent because they are all armed to the teeth, and they have thermonuclear weapons, two major items foreigners would do well to remember before walking into a bar in Queen's and asking "Do you have any fags***?"  Plus, if 'Murrikinz is eeevil', how come "Stranger Things", eh? Eh?  That should settle that one.

"I Want To See The Bright Lights Tonight" comes to mind

     Thirdly, your modest artisan does throw in a certain pulchritudinous effulgence - oh yes I am still reading Dickens, how did you guess? - of language, because, if you're going to read 174,000 books, some of that is going to spill over.  So perhaps some visitors come for the vocabulary, not simply to point and laugh at an old man flying into a rage, daily.
     If any of you feel like letting me know why you visit this froth of scrivel, please let me know in the Comments.
     Well, enough of trumpet-blowing, let us move on again!

Richard Ayoade
Ah, yes, Richard.  Conrad only knows him from that hilarious sitcom that actually reflects real life, "The I.T. Crowd".  Art?

Mos or Richard?  Only you can decide!

     Richard plays the nerdy Mos.  Nerdy, and with <ahem> poor social skills.  The question is, Richard, are you acting or - merely playing yourself?
     Perhaps he was raised by weasels.
     Conrad is curious because, being raised by weasels himself, he has 0% social skills and can foresee an hilarious career in comedy beckoning.  As an addendum to that, NEVER ask Conrad how he's feeling, because he WILL tell you.

The War In Italy
Ah, now, confess, you were verrrry hazy about Italy in the First Unpleasantness, weren't you?  Relax, for there is no test at the end of this article, we merely seek to inform and educate.  A bit like Public Service Broadcasting without the music.

 - or their chiseled good looks

     The Italians only went to war in 1915 after the Allies bribed them by promising them vast tracts of Austrian territory, which they could keep after the war.  The Germans and Austrians were rather more reluctant to give away bits of Austria; the Germans might have offered but it was really up to the Austrians, and they weren't playing.
     Cue two years of inconclusive fighting that advance the Italians only slightly, with horrendous casualties on both sides, but especially the Italians.  Those jibes about cowardly cringing Ities look a little more hollow after that, hmmm?

Note officer at lower left, really putting his back into it

     Then WHAM!  the Italians suffer an utter disaster at Caporetto and only survive by retreating faster than the Austrians and Germans can advance.
     Guess who turns up then?  That's right, Perfidious Albion^.
     I regale you with this data because, having bought it years ago, I am finally reading the "British Official History of The War In Italy". 



*  I've got this right, haven't I?
**  It is, after all, what I do best.
***  Lest we not be clear, this is English slang for Cigarettes.
^  I.e. The British. Also the French.