SCRAMBLE!

Or, My Goals Are Rolls
When I typed out "Scramble" with an exclamation mark and in upper case, I did worry that you might think this particular post concerned how to cook eggs.  
     No.  Not at all.

Art, you coal-eating pillock!

     <brief pause as Art is Tazered into something resembling competence>

     Right.  Back on track.  As you may be aware by now, Conrad is British, as British as they come, or at least he can pretend to be.  Probably in no other country across the globe does the word "Scramble" evoke a sensation of chills running up and down the spine as much as here in Britain, which is historical in nature.  We had this little event called the "Battle of Britain", you see, which was waged in the skies o'er the Allotment of Eden, and the warning for pilots to race for their cockpits was "Scramble".

No, they're not big bum-bags, they're parachutes

     Decades of war films depicting the Brylcreem Boys of the RAF whizzing off to do battle with the wily Teuton have inculcated "Scramble" into the British psyche*.
     Surprise surprise, the term is still around today.  Allow Conrad to impress and alarm you in equal amounts.
     A suspicious track is spotted and an Air Traffic Controller decides to give someone the fright of their life.

"Scramble, scramble, scramble"

     Repeated three times just to make sure the RAF pilots get the message:  this is serious.  We are not mucking about.
     Cue the stalwarts of the  RAF running for their aircraft accompanied by a flight mechanic.  Colour scheme help: pilot in green, mechanic in blue.

Not mucking about

     There's also a siren going in the background, so nobody gets in their way, because, get this - we're not mucking about.

WRONK WRONK WRONK
(Siren sound effect

     Within seconds the pilots are in the cockpit and pedalling their aircraft out of the hangar.  This below is the business end of a Typhoon, and it will do as much damage as the force of nature.

Beautiful, sleek and deadly

     The errant aircraft in question is actually part of the film process, and the cameraman within it had the un-nerving views as follows:

"Hi!"

     Just to underline the point that this is serious, the Typhoon drops a series of flares to get the suspect pilot's attention.

     Seeing a jet fighter vomiting balls of flame ought to concentrate one's mind wonderfully.  A message comes over the radio from the senior of the two pilots, ordering conformation, or they will shoot you down.
     "And would you?" asked the interviewer.  The pilot, being an educated chap, responds with a variety of management-speak but his intent is clear: yes he jolly well would.
     So, if you happen to be in an airliner and suddenly see a fighter jet fifty yards off each wing, wearing an RAF roundel, do please let the stewardess know.
     Thank you for listening!

My Goals Are Still Rolls
As you may be aware, Conrad is a ravening glutton whose idea of fine dining is eating remaindered food rejected by vultures.  He loves a food bargain, which is why he bought an 18 pack of buns going cheap.  He then came up with a pun about this being a Bun Bounty or "Bunty", which is pretty clever for round here.  Art?

Art =

<a longer pause as the Tazer is connected to the electricity sub-station across the street>

     Excuse me a moment, I need to open a window - burnt human hair smells so horrid, don't you find?  Anyway, I am attempting to eat my way through all 18 rolls before they go stale or mouldy.

Evidence

     I've got through 6 so far and have bought extra ham to allow for more ham rolls.
     Yes, yes, I know this is all fearfully parochial, yet you really need to get a rounded picture of your humble scribe to appreciate where he's coming from.

Z Nation
I think this has rather hit it's stride.  The earlier episodes had too much filler and not enough <thinks> gorilla?  Polyfilla?  Sarsparilla?  Good stuff, anyway.  Overmuch padding.  As ever, it doesn't take itself too seriously and maintains a mocking sense of humour.  Poor old 10K is having a rough time of it, though.  If it gets renewed for a fourth season his agent had better have a word with the scriptwriters or we might not see him again.
     Plot-wise we now have four narrative strands - Murphytown, run by Murphy (the clue is in the title); Citizen Zed, who now has human company; the ever-foxy Sergeant Warren and escorts; and Addy and Doc, off hunting Lucy.

Citizen Zed**

*  Or it might just be me.
**  Conrad refuses to use the South Canadian pronunciation.  REFUSES!