Hear Me Carp - About Aeolian Harp

Perhaps A Little Definition Would Help
When I say "Carp" I am not referring to the fish, rather instead to the pronounced ability I have to complain about things.  Carping.  You know Conrad - or if you don't then I shall certainly enlighten you - whose default emotional condition is permanently set at "Cross".  This morning, thanks to a monstrous miles-long traffic jam and despite the best efforts of The Flophouse podcasters, that condition went to "Very Cross".

Here we see merely "Cross"
But that could change at any moment ...

     "Er - yes, quite," I hear you querulously comment.  "And what brings on todays venting of spleen?"
     I'm so glad you asked!  You - may not be quite so happy.  Still, bear with us, bear with us.
     I'm talking about a crossword answer.  Can't remember the actual clue, which isn't that important because I want to bang on about the answer, which was:

"Aeolian Harp"

     Because I am widely-read, and have a retentive memory*, I knew what the answer was, but, Ned's Atomic Dustbin!  How on earth were other, more normal people supposed to know the answer?
     "Refresh my memory about Harps Aeolian," I can hear you quibble.  "They've slipped my mind of late, not having eaten one for ages."
     Leaving aside your worrying dietary habits, let us move on to an explanation.

Two of the little rascals

     The context above is important.  Aeolian harps were intended to be played by the wind alone, hence they are placed outside and left untouched by human hand.  They were big in the Classical world, which is where Conrad encountered them in literature of the period, but once again, Dog Buns!  How would the average human know this?

A Modern Look At The Nursery Book
More specifically, nursery rhymes.
     If you have been reading BOOJUM! for any length of time, then you know that Conrad has a maliciously unpleasant sense of humour, which mostly involves pointing and laughing at other people as they experience misfortune.
     Let us turn that livid and sinister eye upon the humble nursery rhyme, shall we?  Yes, they are an easy target - what, you want or expect nobility from Conrad? - and I thoroughly intend to beat the humour out of this topic with a big stick.  Beat beat beat!
     So, "Wee Willie Winkie" -

"Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,

Upstairs and downstairs, in his nightgown"

Neglected AND exploited!

          That's quite enough of that, thank you!  His parents were arrested and charged with neglect and William got sent to a children's secure hostel.  But the council did buy him pyjamas.
     Okay, flailing away with our big stick -

"Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry."

     It is unclear from this fragment what age Georgie is, but if he is over 18 then we are looking at serious prison time.  Mind you, if I were his defence lawyer I would lay it on thick about Georgie being confused about gender identity in today's shifting sexualised landscape and with poor understanding of the delimitations of personal space, since he was raised by weasels**.

Crocodile tears, mate, crocodile tears.

An Oddity
Here's a thing.  From Conrad's ceaseless repetition, you probably recall that Britain, back in the day when you could still call her "Great" and not get hissed, had a fleet of strategic bombers known collectively as the "V" bombers.  This is because - you probably realised this already but we have to make allowances for the newcomers - their names all began with the letter "V":  The Valiant, the Victor and the Vulcan.
     Surprise surprise:


     I don't have to point out that one is a jet bomber carrying H-bombs and the other - ah, I see you get it.  The trend continues:


     Again, one of these is made out of woodpulp and the other looks like it flew straight out of "Thunderbirds".
     But wait!  We're not done yet -


     One of these travels at treetop height on it's way to introduce the Sinisters to buckets of instant sunshine, and the other is made of trees.
     BOOJUM! - ever one to notice the unusual.

Ooops.  Almost at count.  Well, let us throw in this, that I found whilst trawling Teh Interwebz:

     It tickled my sense of humour, but I can't possibly comment because that would combine both Politics and Current Affairs, and WE CAN'T HAVE THAT!

Oh V, 'Tis Of Thee
We've had the Valiant, Victor and Vulcan, now say hello to the Vultee Vengeance.  Art?

Verily, a VV

     Although this was an American designed and built aircraft, they didn't use it.  Instead we Brits did, in large numbers, and I only include it here because that way we can all have more V's, which are not only delicious and economical, but have no calories.

Hi mom!

*  Retentive, yes.  Well-organised or indexed - er - no.
**  RABID weasels - the best kind of parent!