- because a lot of you have been turning up of late, which is great if you're all genuine readers and less great if that traffic upturn is the result of The Metro and First Bus's legal teams looking for evidence of libel, of which more later! -
Where was I? Oh, that's right, gloasting. Perhaps it is already apparent that Conrad has some felicity with the use of written language. Only the written. In conversation your humble scribe's high-speed mumble takes years to adjust to, plus his use of the third person is a little - disconcerting.
"Yes yes yes, get on with it, do, 'Little House On The Prairie' is on soon," I hear you question. Leaving aside your questionable choice in hard-hitting docudrama, I shall explicate.
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| One of these people is a cannibal |
"The best guidebook to a gemstone (5 letters)" was the crossword clue. This puzzled me and I couldn't get it at all, so you're never going to get or guess it either*.
The answer is "Topaz". See? "Top" being slang for "Best" and "-az" being derived from an "A to Z", typically the title of a streetmap collection.
Bah!
"Gangster Squad"
Whilst listening to the Flophouse's podcast on this film, Conrad felt sure he'd already seen it many years ago, enough to comment on it in a manner that sounded almost intelligent.
Well, that's the upshot of being long in the tooth and short on memory. Hearing the name "Ryan Gosling" should have tipped me off, as he would have been wearing short trousers or stabilisers on his bike were he to have been on film 20 years ago.
Rye and Gosling. Close enough
No, I'd conflated GS with "Mulholland Falls", a film from 1996 on exactly the same topic.
Intrigued, I checked out the online articles about the real-life Gangster Squad on some newspaper site. I can't remember the paper's name and you only get half a dozen views before having to pay, so it will remain forever unknown. Call it the New York Post, because I know it wasn't that, which will annoy the real thing**.
Anyway, the real-life version began with eighteen cops being offered a brief: operating off-the-books to deal with organised crime, by any means necessary. Which meant they weren't allowed to kill anyone. Bar that, anything went.
Of the eighteen, only seven took up the offer, which was still enough to play merry Hob with West Coast organised crime. Assault, theft, illegal bugging, death threats, not looking both ways before crossing the street - these chaps played fast and loose with the law. "Gangster" squad indeed!
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| Sterling chaps, every one! |
"Perfunctory"
Conrad used this in the blog yesterday, one of those big words I like to throw in every now and then to persuade people that I am clever, really, and the persona is just that.
'Where does it come from?' I pondered. 'Latin, no doubt. It has a Latin feel to it.'
And lo! Am I not correct? The word itself means to perform or operate in a casual or careless manner, much like the First Bus schedule planners, for example.
The root is "Perfungi", Latin for "Accomplished" in the sense of getting something done. This then became "Perfunctorius", meaning "careless". From which we derive "Perfunctory".
Which means, should mutant mushrooms ever rise from the ashes of nuclear war with the ability to walk and talk, they would indeed be - Perfungi Fungi***.
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| A perfunctory Google brought up - this |
Oh Sweet Irony
I don't often get the chance to lambast and berate both The Metro and First Bus simultaneously, so I'm going to risk those legal teams and post this:
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| "Arrival" |
Internal Dogsitting
Unusually, everybody is in the house, yet Conrad is being asked to sit Edna for a while. There is painting and delicate sewing being done downstairs, you see, and the little furry scamp cannot be relied upon to keep clear of falling paint, nor to stop worming her way onto Wonder Wifey's lap.
So there she lies, the very definition of Despondent Dog.
Finally -
Here's that gemstone for you:
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| Conrad is still cross, mind |
* No insult to your intellect intended, it's just a horribly difficult answer.
** Petty and vindictive, that's me!
*** Sorry.
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