A Boy And His Blog

Ah!  Yet Another Harlan Ellison Allusion
He's not noticeably litigious, is he?  Or he might not like some random blogger trading off the fame of his short story "A Boy And His Dog".  Which was made into a film, you know, with Don Johnson and Jason Robards.  Neither of whom played the dog, just so you know.
     Well now, once more unto the beach.  Volleyball, wasn't it?
     Conrad, unreliable witness, thief of thyme and treacherous hijacker of reputations is back again, stealing Ol' Harl's reputation and (allegedly) also kicking him in the arse.  Whilst I strenuously deny the latter, and the dead audience members of yesteryon will act as mute evidence, the former metaphor still stands, hence my concern over legal action.
     I now confidently expect blog traffic to simply roll in.  We have hit the 34,000 mark, in case you were wondering, and even if you weren't, so clearly your humble scribe is entertaining people.  Even if they only come to point and laugh*.

Proof your author's ravings have at least some basis in reality

Back To The Big Bang Bombs
Or, rather, not.  Yes, I had more observations of how things have changed since Herman Kahn wrote his seminal work "On Thermonuclear War", but the blog was running late and long yesterday, so you have the benefit of your modest artisan's opinions today.
     Here an aside.  Conrad never fails to be impressed, depressed and amazed simultaneously at how creative you humans are at being destructive.  From pointy stick to thermonuclear-armed Inter-Continental Ballistic Missile in only 10,000 years.  That's progress for you, and also incidentally why I never give out the galactic GPS of my homeworld.
     Anyway, back to Developments In Getting More Bang For Your Buck/Ruin For Your Rouble.  Fuel, is one significant march forward.  Liquid rocket fuels happen to be appallingly dangerous stuff to work with; they tend to be not merely explosive, which you would expect, but also toxic and corrosive for full triple-kill effect.  Google "Nedelin Incident" or "Devil's Venom" for a particularly ghastly Sinister tragedy.  The old ICBM's used fuels like Di-nitrogen tetroxide, and/or hydrazine.  These thing's molecules simply bulge with nitrogen ions, which as any chemist will tell you, is a disaster waiting to happen. 

Titan missile exploding
A Titan had a 9 megaton warhead, so this was probably the most dangerous place on the planet

 Allegedly this stuff burns so hot it will instantly split any water sprayed upon it into component oxygen and hydrogen, which then act to increase the fire.  Perhaps you could scare it into submission by threatening it with Chlorine Triflouride**, as there doesn't seem to be any other way.
     The replacement for such liquid terror was solid fuel, which is simply that, solid.  It will only burn when ignited, not when it feels like or if gently tapped by a passing feather.  The downside is that it requires extreme engineering precision to cast in the right shape, and, once ignited, it cannot be turned off.
     What you might call <ahem> a balance of terror.

Solid rocket fuel.
Safe, yes; but dull

Here's A Thing You Don't See Every Day
Baby-faced doyenne of military history Professor Gary Sheffield, debating Al Murray, buffoon-faced Pub Landlord.  Art?

     In real life - sorry to douse you with cold actuality - Al Murray is actually quite a clever chap.  He even wrote a book - "Watching War Films With My Dad", which of course Conrad has.  Might dig it out and re-read it.  Conrad also has several works of the good Prof, and would recommend his "Forgotten Victory" about the First Unpleasantness.

Marinen Jaegerkommando
The Norwegian's naval special forces unit.  Art?

      These chaps are the bee's knees, and I put them up on BOOJUM! every so often because everyone's heard of the SAS.  Thank you, Norwegian naval special forces unit, for helping keep our North Sea oil safe!

The Devil And Conrad
It is, unfortunately, a truism that Mssr. Satan will find work for idle hands, and this afternoon your talented typist sat and brooded, idly, at his desk.  There were no phone calls coming in, and no e-mails to manage, so what is a chap with a low boredom threshold to do?
     Why, resort to his colleagues as a source of entertainment and diversion.
     "Sylwia!" I challenged.  "How do you pronounce this -"

"VARKA!"

    Sylwia, you see, is Polish, and so is this stuff, which is cheaply available in Morrison's, besides being pretty strong.
     Of course this did not last for long. 
     "Sylwia!  How do you pronounce this -"

"PRZEMYSL!"

     She was curious about my asking, as it's not a well-known town outside Poland.
     "The siege of Przemysl in the First Unpleasantness," I explained.  There a besieged Austro-Hungarian army had to surrender to the Ruffians, who were pretty good at giving the AH army a shoeing in battle.
     Lastly, I wondered what the Polish for an Aardvark was.  Just, you know, because.

"MROWNIK AFRYKANSKI"

     As she observed, it does have the look of a pig about it.  Poor gel, she had to go look it up on the Polish version of Wikipedia; I strongly suspect this is the first time she's been asked that question, which is a shocking indication of something or other.



*  Take care, audience members are completely expendable.
** The Chemical From Hell.  So dangerous even the Nazi's wouldn't work with it ...