Today's Theme - Lily

No!  Not Lily Allen

Whoever she is.  Like the I-Pad, Conrad is aware of both entities without being either interested or needing to know more.  There's also that chap named after a kind of boot, Justin Timber-whatsit, and Katy Perry.  They both exist in the media landscape, it’s just that Conrad and they do not have any reason to co-exist.

     Anyway, on with the Motley*!

Lily Of The Valley

Now, this plant is entirely wasted on Conrad, who has no sense of smell whatsoever.  According to those whose olofactory organs do work, it has a pleasant sweet scent to it.  It looks unusual, not merely being a flower on the end of a stem:

Awww, what cute little bells, eh?
THE BELLS OF HELL!

     What Conrad finds interesting is not the smell, nor the ability to cover ground in shady conditions, but the fact that it is EXTREMELY POISONOUS!

     Yes indeedy.  It is simply bursting with poisons - 38 of them at last count - that can kill you deader than Latin Etruscan.  They go for the heart**.  

     There you go, an unusual and attractive plant with a nice smell that can kill you.  O how ironical Mother Nature can be when she puts her mind to it, eh?

"Gilding The Lily"

A phrase you may have heard before.  It refers to un-necessary elaboration since the artefact in question is already beautiful in it's own right, so there is no need to coat it in a thin layer of gold:

Okay, it's a cake not a flower but it does have flour

     I rest my case.

MUSICAL LILY'S

     Yes, a theme within a theme!  Bow down and admit how clever Conrad is.  It may have taken me until 1987 to learn how to tie a tie, but - actually that has nothing to do with it - move on, move on -

     "Pictures of Lily"

      A 1967 single by The Who.  A teenage lad is given picture postcards of Lily, which help him to sleep at night.  Funny, my mother used to give me gin for that.  Anyway, said young man requests to see the titular Lily in person, only to be told that she died in 1929.  Writer Pete Townsend said the song was inspired by the thought that everyone has "a pin-up period".

Come on now - "Doctor - Who"

      "Everyone" in this case can safely be said to exclude Conrad.

Lily The Pink

You really had to be there, I suppose.  This is what the music press politely call a "novelty single", which is shorthand for "I really and truly have no idea how this bloody awful dirge got to be a success".  It was performed by The Scaffold in 1968 and is based on a rather ribald song from the early C20 about a patent medicine composed equal parts herbs and alcohol.  The lineup that recorded it included Graham Nash, ex- of The Hollies, Elton John before he was famous, Tim Rice ditto, and Jack Bruce.

Pink gin.  Close enough.
Also excellent sleeping mixture

Lilywhite Lilith

Okay, this is stretching interpretation a little, but you have to admit there's a lily in there.  This is a track from "The Lamb Lies Down On Broadway", Genesis' 1974 album.  Lilith helps the protagonist Rael out of a madding crowd and helps to direct where he should go from there, even though she is blind.  And shiny.  This is about as much as your humble scribe can make out from the album, which is infamous for making no sense whatsoever.  It sounds great, don't get me wrong, it's just a rather surreal journey.

ENOUGH OF THEMES!

Let us move on.

The Strain

Just finished watching the last Episode of Season One.  Erk!  The "Strain" of the title has spread across New York City and all you can hear at night are sirens and helicopters, while buildings burn unattended.  Our heroes are fleeing to Vassily's home to stock up on weapons and re-think their strategy.  Meanwhile that terrific Canadian character actor Stephen McHattie, in the role of a moral vampire, is offering Gus a choice.  Eldritch Palmer is still trying to keep a Business-As-Usual attitude at the CDC, still pining all the while for immortality, and Bolivar (sole survivor of the Four Survivors) got his stinger chopped in half***.

Today's Purchases

On the off chance Conrad popped into the Red Cross shop in Royton precinct, and Hey Pesto!  his diligent searching was rewarded with those below:

Which leads us to -

Hit With The Coincidence Hammer - Again

Last week Conrad was pondering.  Not idly, I was having a shower at the time.

     "What was that book?" I wondered.  "Set in a Soviet gulag.  Not "A Day In The Life Of Ivan Denisovitch^".  The camp acquires an American bulldozer sent as part of the supplies to Russia during WW2, and they watch in admiration as the splendidly-engineered vehicle topples trees effortlessly.  Still more appreciative are they of the huge tin of lubricating grease that comes with the bulldozer: they eat it.  Now, could this book be "No Jail For Thought"? by Lev Kopolev?"

     I don't know but since I now have a copy, we shall see.

     Then there was that bit in "Lily of the Valley", about a "sweet scent".  

     Somehow that seemed familiar, and then it popped into my head: Doctor Eric Sweetscent.  A quick Google revealed that he's the lead character in one of my favourite Philip K. Dick novels, "Now Wait For Last Year".

     Phil?  Any comments?

It's Not Baking But It Is Making

We had a lot of tomatoes lying around in the fridge, being all scarlet and stuff, so Conrad decided to use them up in a recipe for Tomato Chutney:

     I had to divide the quantities by four or otherwise we'd be looking at a bucket of the stuff.  Chutney, it seems, is mostly tomato and sugar with spices.  Next time it will be Tomato Relish.

*       Not to be confused with Mutley, Dick Dastardly’s sidekick and minion.

** Of course Conrad, with his atomic-powered circulation-pump would be immune

*** This sounds more saucy than it actually is, trust me.

^ An excellent book, very readable and quite short, too.