Hong Kong

 - Phooey, That Is, No Politics Or Current Affairs Here
I shall recount a little of "Hong Kong Phooey" since the whippersnappers amongst you are probably devoid of knowledge about this legendary Hanna-Barbera cartoon.
     Created in 1974, it spoofed the martial arts films and television programmes popular at the time.  Our hero hid his identity behind the facade of a janitor in a police-station, Penrod "Penry" Pooch, where he works under the stern gaze of Sarge, makes goo-goo eyes at Rosemary the switchboard girl, and keeps his pet cat Spot.

I don't need to explain who's who, do I?

     In his secret identity of crime-fighter Hong Kong Phooey, Penry manages to be incredibly inept at martial arts and is endlessly rescued by Spot, or blind luck.

Penry, transformed

     Nobody ever, ever, suspects Penry of being HKP.  In this alternative universe people must be extremely stupid, as how many other anthropomorphic dogs are there in this series?  None.  That's how many.  And, frankly, a disguise that consists of an eyemask and dressing gown is reaching a bit.
     Now, what people are missing the point of is the Phooeymobile.  How an idiot like Penry acquired a machine that can morph instantly into functional alternate artefacts is - well it's never explained.  Personally, Conrad thinks he stole it.  How does it operate?  Designer micro-matter?  Organised nano-assemblies? Space-time enfoldment?  Conrad wants to know*!

Obviously the Phooeymobile was the inspiration for this chap

Finally!
I got someone to eat the last bit of Halloween Pumpkin Cake.  I felt a sense of chagrin at not having got rid of it on Friday. Oh - which leads to -

"Chagrin"
We've all been there, haven't we?  You have to escape from the MoD's secret underground lair - and you drop those memory sticks down a drain.  A sense of anger over failing or being humiliated, that's chagrin.  Where does it come from?  Old French, actually, from "chagrin", which means "rough skin", which in turn comes from "chagriner", except the etymylogical trail stops dead there as where that comes from isn't known.

Wow, there's some chagrin right there.
No, I meant the woman!

Conrad.  Hot Stuff.
As you surely know by now, gentle reader, Conrad is a long way from human.  Thanks to his impeccable disguise, of course, nobody suspects the truth**.  This explains why he is never ill - your feeble human diseases are unable to affect me.
     There have been one or two close calls, as today when some of the thinner ladies in the office claimed to be cold.  Conrad, standing behind Manisha, had to come up with a quip:  "I'm so hot I'm radiating!"
     "Yes you are," confirmed Manisha.  "I can feel it from here."
     Oops! Obviously the nitro-methane and lava that flows in my veins as an efficient substitute for blood was exchanging heat a little too efficiently.
     I moved away.  Nobody the wiser ...

Keyhole camera view: inside Conrad's femoral artery

"Dear BBC -
Please do not put pictures of The Metro on the sub-heading about today's press, because it is a Wretched Rag."
     And it is.  Conrad couldn't be bothered to look at today's edition, but he can offer proof from yesterdays.  Inside, taking up half a page, an article about a surely fake programme called "Strictly Come Dancing", then some drivel about the X Factor zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

 - Oh!  Sorry, my will to live was sucked right out of me by reliving the horror and the tedium.

Hit With The Coincidence Hammer Once More
Utilising Grooveshark, Conrad was able to play some tracks from Hawkwind's debut album, dubbed - really coming out of left-field here - "Hawkwind".  For some reason i-tunes won't recognise the CD, so this was a chance to hear tracks I'd not heard in decades.
     But what's this?  A song called "Cymbeline"***.  And what had I been reading mere minutes before?  The Introduction to "Claudius the God", which also mentions Cymbeline, the king of the British ("Cunobelus" in Latin).
     Now, what do you think the chances are of that happening?  Phil?

"The order of 850,000,000  to one, Conrad.  Gotta be aliens at work.  Er - other aliens at work."

Mr Robert Rankin
I have just finished reading one of the books so kindly given by Alison^, this one being "Armageddon the Musical".  

It's an angelic blue suede shoe, obviously

This one doesn't turn out to be as dark as "The Fandom of the Operator", but it does begin in a devastated atomic wasteland and does feature cannibals and the Devil and a Talking Time Sprout.

Finally Finally -
As ever, I shamelessly exploit small cute animals in the quest for more traffic at BOOJUM.  Edna?  Time for you to venture into the spotlight:

95% of all viewers can't resist going "Awwww!"

  


* Conrad may be over-thinking things a bit, here.
** Nobody reading this stuff really believes it, right?  Right, Mr MI5?
*** A cover of the original from Pink Floyd and the soundtrack to "More"
^ Who is from "From The Kites Of San Quentin", see I rub shoulders with cool people.  Mind you, with my blood most people are cooler than I am.