Hong Kong

Cavaliers! - No Politics Or Current Affairs Here
I can tell what you're thinking* - "It's a bit early in the evening to have lost the plot.  What is Conrad blathering on about now?"
     I refer, of course, to one of the most unique films ever made, one that exists practically in another dimension - forgive the pun** - and definitely in it's own universe - "The Adventures Of Buckaroo Banzai Across The Eighth Dimension".  I alluded to it yesterday, and here we will fill in a few more details.

Buckaroo and the Cavaliers

     Buckaroo Banzai is the brain-surgeon rock-and-roll star whose band is "The Hong Kong Cavaliers" and who stumbles on the existence of higher-dimensional lifeforms, including the Red and Black Lectroids, one of whom has taken over the body of Dr Emil Lizardo, who plans to return to the 8th Dimension as Lord John Whorfin, and who has a great line "Laugh while you can, monkey boy!" but whom the Black Lectroids demand be stopped or they'll destroy Minsk -
     - there's lots more, including a trailer at the end for "Buckaroo Banzai Versus The World Crime League" which sadly never came about as a film, although it is a comic book graphic novel and yes, Conrad has it.

Buckaroo tackles the World Crime League.  No, hang on -

     You will be hearing more of Peter Weller, dear audience.  Count on it.


"The Revolt Of The Prunes"
Quite why this popped into my head is - questionable.  It is one of the chapters in "Whizz for Atoms", by Ronald Searle and Geoffrey Willans, who created Molesworthy, the hero (if you can call him that) of a series of books.
     Anyway.  Prunes.  Revolting.

How shocking!  Not just prunes, but electric ones!

"Tissue of Lies***"
This appeared on the BBC website earlier today, at about the same time Conrad was annoying his Facebook friends (both of them) with his irritatingly cheerful, if not patronisingly smug motivational posts.  "Tissue of lies about NHS" or some such title.
     No!  Don't worry, there won't be a long, turgid ramble here about the news article^, but it did make Conrad focus on the phrase itself.
     Aha!  Nope, it doesn't refer to the kind of product from Scotts that you use to unbung your snout.  The term is actually of 17th Century issue and means "a web or similar complex arrangement".

A tissue of lies is a bit abstract, so here's a Churchill Flail tank

"Horns"
As seen on that most fruitful of inspirations, a bus poster.
     You ought to know the BOOJUM! approach to films on bus posters - taken at face value with no checking of IMDB and usually only seen for seconds as a time.
     On that basis, one wonders a little at the motivation of the star, Daniel Radcliffe, in taking this role.  Obviously it is about an orchestra member - euphonium or trombone, one wonders? - and probably life on tour, or recording in a studio, and definitely playing live.  Yes, truly, Valeria, performances of the classical repertoire^^ do vary and have definitely evolved over time, especially when using replica instruments rather than modern ones.  I strongly believe this will be a theme of the film.

Okay, it's a percussion instrument, not a brass one.

Kayo Dot
You won't have heard of this band unless you are frighteningly hip, cool, trendy and down wiv da kids.
     Anyway, my other Hip Cool Band Member friend at work, Ian "Claw The Thin Ice"/Borland" Breen, presented me with a copy of their "Coffins on Io", which I look forward to hearing, as long as it plays on the CD player.  
     We shall see.  Or, more appositely, we shall hear.

See here!

The Honey In The Coffee
Conrad habitually takes honey rather than sugar in his coffee, and has done for several decades now.  For one thing, it's less unhealthy than refined sugar.  Also, it cements his position in the office as That Man You Don't Make Eye Contact With.
     Right.  Onto the issue.  Coffee is a liquid, we can all agree on that.  The clear honey I use is fluid, not the set stuff.  I stir the combination briskly - fourteen stirs clockwise, tap the spoon, fifteen stirs anti-clockwise - and yet, if I wait for too long, the coffee at the bottom of the cup is noticeably sweeter than the upper portion.
     So, does the honey really dissolve, or merely form an emulsion that mass causes to sink to the bottom of the cup?
     As ever, you may provide answers by Commenting.

Mister Hand and I discuss the merits of pasteurised versus honeycomb

Lady Gossip At Lunch
Keeping up his sinister masqerade, Conrad sat with three of the ladies at work for lunch:  Kay, Alex and Mina.  I had to warn Alex about dying a bit more quietly as her continual hacking was putting me off my book, not to mention speckling the table with saliva.  Her excuse of "a chest infection" was a bit thin, but prodded Kay to share an internet selfie of some "reality TV star" posting a very under-dressed selfie, what might be termed a "chest infliction".  Mina was all agog about her engagement, and engagement ring - apparently this is what human couples do when they want to reserve someone for later plighting-of-troth.
     Kay took the conversational biscuit with talk of her tattooed eyebrows.
     Conrad is a bit of a dinosaur^^^but - really?  Yes, really.  Not only can one get tattooed eyebrows, one's lip outline can be tattooed - "bet that hurts!" added Mina.  Kay trumped everyone by informing that you can get your <Conrad is wincing here> eyelids tattooed in order to avoid needing eyeliner ever again.
     Hell no!  There isn't the money in the world that would get your big fat cowardly scribe to undergo that!

Tattoo Vampire.  Because sharp pointy things that pierce the skin are, frankly, scary

* Telepathy doesn't exist.  Yet.  But your human scientists are working on it ...
** Actually, since it's my blog I really don't care if you forgive or not!
*** A tissue of lies.  Could almost be an alternative title for BOOJUM!, nyet?
^ Read the first title on this page for a hint about BOOJUM!'s editorial policy.
^^ In 515 posts, the first time I've used this word.  If you doubt, go back and check ...
^^^ The sacro-illeac joint