Since I was going to be off out of the house yesterday long before Jane awoke, I left a goodbye rhyme on the kitchen table. No, I can't remember what was in it, although with brutal honesty there is a line "The cat, the dog, the old fat man" (that's Conrad, in case you hadn't guessed).
What did I find on getting home yesterday? A complimentary complementary rhyme from Jane:
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| Crane your neck to read these ethereal lines! Crane! |
Which is where she lives. She didn't just choose it because it fits the metre.
"Musical Notation Software"
Once again the Facebook sidebar adverts defy logic and commonsense. They have stopped promoting nubile young ladies** and incontinence products, which is a bizarre combination in anyone's book, yet they now try to flog the titular product.
Eh what say what? Conrad cannot play a note on any musical instrument; although he can hit things quite hard he will never play percussion as he has no sense of rhythm***. Given this RATHER CONSIDERABLE HANDICAP, why would he need software that permitted him to create musical notation? Software that takes over the internet, or empties everyone's bank accounts, or crashes NATO, UNIT and the CIA - that I'd pay for. This simply seems like sharp practice, said Conrad, quavering with indignation, I ought to bar them or hit them with staves <Mister Hand moves the sequence of terrible puns right along by force of his bamboo skewer>
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| Music notation is deadly dull. Here's the Id Monster from "Forbidden Planet" instead. |
Again, this little phrase is proof positive that allowing Conrad time to ponder is a risky business. Today it was a pause at the Miller Street pedestrian crossing.
'I know what it means,' said Conrad - internally, no point in worrying fellow pedestrians who already tend to give me a wide berth and avoid eye contact - "But why does it mean?"
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| Lily Savage. An hilarious irony, if you read on. |
I think, if your liver was white, then your problems would be considerably greater than worrying what people thought of your expression of MANLINESS, since you would be dead.
| Flight liver. Close enough. |
Spotify I spitify. Grooveshark has no limits on how often you play a song, does not limit your time per month, does not have horrid intrusive adverts that interrupt the songs you play and is FREE. Plus it has a lot of artists on there. And it's FREE. Also intuitive and easy to use.
You didn't ask, and may not want to know, but here goes:
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| Conrad's music choice: eclectic |
Just bear it in mind when Scrotify send you a begging e-mail about how you haven't visited their site in over two and a half years ....
Did I mention the FREE bit?
The Wyvern
As all you animal lovers out there surely know by now, BOOJUM! does it's best to try and promote in a positive way ugly or under-appreciated animals that begin with the letter "W".
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| The rare yellow Norwegian wyvern |
The Wyvern is now extinct, having been wiped out by Hom. Sap. who generally regarded a reptile with wings and a venemous bite as being entirely too handy-dandy in dealing out death. Classified by Linnaeus as "Vexillologia Primus", of the class of "Reptilia" and order "Squamata"There are no photographs of it, since it got killed off before the camera arrived, but you can have a sketch:
| Woodcut of a Wessex Wyvern circa:1550 |
*Well, obviously! It's not a Ford Edsel engine, is it?
** With the ill-concealed subtext that they were - ahem - "gagging for it"
*** This is quite common amongst camouflaged alien spies.
^ This may be partly, mostly or completely untrue.
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