Right! Let's Get Ranting

Busy Night
I intend to make Cucumber Relish tonight, which might alleviate the allegations that my salted, diced cucumber is "stinking up the fridge", because as you well know, cucumber has no smell.
     Now that we've determined the lack of smell associated with cucumbers, let us proceed in a calm yet determined manner to lay down tonight's BOOJUM!

Gotham!
I refer, of course, to this meaty metaphor:

     Got Ham?  Conrad doesn't need ham, he's got turkey!

NO!  Get it right -

Hammy hilarity, eh?

Victor Versus Vulcan
Ahem.  Okay, you may recall* that Conrad has recently been illuminating you, dear audience, with the British V-Bomber force that began in the Fifties.  The Valiant, the Vulcan, the Victor.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeBPOxPsVfI
This link takes you to a 9 minute tribute to the Victor, but what I wanted to call attention was the commenter insisting that the Victor was actually a "Vulcan cargo plane".
     Let me recap.

VICTOR

VULCAN

They don't look anything like each other.  As one (sane) commentator points out, the only "cargo" the Vulcan ever carried was bombs, either conventional or nuclear.  Calling it a cargo plane is like calling a Challenger tank a bus**.

More Of Last Night's Experiment
As you will recall, last night Conrad went at a recipe for Coffee and Chocolate Loaf using polenta instead of wheat flour.  I did let it overbake a bit so the end result was a bit dry.  Edible but also frangible, if you like.  Anyway, Wonder Wifey went away and thought a bit and Hey Pesto! we have what you see below:

Now dubbed "Inca Gold Cake"

     Topped with Nutella and sprayed with edible gold spray paint, If Conrad bakes it again he will probably tent it with foil, cook at a lower temperature for longer and not burn it.  That last really helps.

"People Who Live In Glass Houses Shouldn't Throw Stones"
Excuse me, proverb creator, but what on earth are you talking about?  Here sits Conrad within the stout crenellated stone walls of the Mansion, NOT throwing high-velocity bits of rock around the room. Nor do any of the humans people I know ever admit, confess or boast of a night's enjoyment spent in hurling bricks and breezeblocks at the walls, furniture or each other.
     Let's face it, if you lived in a glass house the entirely hypothetical risk of throwing stones wouldn't really be the issue, would it?  You can see where I'm going here, can't you?  Public decency would be outraged if every pedestrian or bus passenger was able to see you go around your Bathroom Business, let alone your Bedroom Business.
     As I said, throwing stones not the issue.

     An Entirely Random Aside
     Talking of thrown stones, I do remember the peculiar happenings on "Star Trek The 
     Next Generation***" whenever the Enterprise - that's the star-ship our heroes travel
     in - got into a space battle with the bad guys, like the Borg -

          A Still More Parenthetical Aside
          The Borg were Science Fiction Swedes, weren't they? Taken to the nth degree, of
          course - grey, assimilative, super-socialists out to make everyone else like them.

I rest my case

     - and the Klingons, and the <thinks> Kardashians^, it would generally take a bit of a 
     pasting and there'd be small explosions and sparks - and a hail of gravel.  Always a hail
     of gravel.  Where did all those stone^^s come from?

Why, From The Armadillo!
Yes. No!  Not that armadillo.  This one:

Dad's Army and Corporal Jones, eat your heart out

     Recall, if you will, the dark days of Summer 1940 in the UK.  With an invasion feared at any moment, all sorts of bizarre and cheap vehicles were gotten up to be ready for the bally Hun.  Including the Armadillo, which it would be stretching a point to call an "armoured car".  The "armoured" structure that you see behind the cab was made of wood, an inner and outer layer.  The gap between was filled with -
     - stones!
     Gene Roddenberry, I call you on star-ship design.  Hah!

The Bison.  A truck made out of CONCRETE!
Yes really.  This is at Bovvie

Finally
BOOJUM! - shamelessly exploiting small cute animals since Post 359:

100% cute
Maybe even 110%

* No "may"  about it actually, you "had better" recall.  Or there will be trouble.
** Although a Challenger PSV would be pretty awesome ...
*** An even more obscure sequel to that series from the Fifties.  Or was it the Sixties?
^   I may have mis-spelt this
^^ No, no jokes about the Rolling Stones^^^.
^^^ Because Conrad cannot stand them!  The Beatles had sense to pack it in before they <cont. Page 96>