Bad Curiosity! Naughty Curiosity! No biscuit for you!
On the other hand, one has to be verrrry wary of Satisfaction, since it can apparently create zombies. As further proof of this, look at the two responsible for that ancient hymn called "Satisfaction", Keith Jagger and Mick Richards, because they most definitely are dead men walking, see!
Richards on left, Jagger on right |
Curiosity. Obviously designed as a cat-eradicating machine. Admit it: how many cats have we seen on Mars? |
I am currently reading Diane Purkiss' brick of a book about the English Civil War. Bless her, she does go to some lengths to illustrate how different folk were then, particularly in terms of religious intolerance and bigotry*, with an awful lot of background. Today I reached page 75 and the "Bishop's War" against the Scots, which came about because of a revised prayer-book. The war is a lot less interesting than it sounds.
Anyway, I digress. What I meant to mention is the phrase "Valde melancholia", used of Oliver Cromwell and his depression. Pretty obviously - obviously! - "melancholia" translates from the Latin** as "depression", but what does "Valde" mean?
"Great", would you believe it. So Oliver suffered from the bite of the black dog, to coin a metaphor.
Valdoonican. Close enough |
No! Nothing sordid or rude! BOOJUM! is entirely Safe For Work, and also small children. That is, you won't find swearing or nakedness; logic and common-sense are a bit more honoured in the breach.
So. Unless you are Romanian, you won't recognise the word. It is Romanian for "Cotton", viz:
Bottom left. ha! Get it? "Bottom" - O you do. |
It's not too clear from the photo above, but the Finnish for "Cotton" is "Puuvilla", pronounced "Pooh Villa". No! No sewerage connection - Conrad refers to A.A.Milne and Pooh Bear. You dirty-minded lot.
Luxembourg
What is the capital city of Luxembourg?
Luxembourg!
I know, I know, a bit of a trick question. Why is this here? Why, because Conrad was curious about the name. Where does it come from and what does it mean?
The name itself comes into existence with the creation of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg in 1839. It's a compound derivative, and once again we come across that zombie language Latin, as "Lux" is Latin for "Light". The "Bourg" is French (hooray! Not Latin!) and means "Village". So - "Village of light".
Conrad is happy. He'd already heard Paris described as the "City of Light", so if Luxembourg is only a village we're all okay.
Lux and Broad. Close enough |
Yes indeed. Conrad is beginning to cast looks over his shoulder to see exactly who - or what - is messing about with causality.
Here's a harmless example. Recall just above how I describe reading Ms. Purkiss' work? What do I come across on pp 62 but the following: " - the sound of breaking glass, so dear to the upper class".
No, I'm not referring to either Nick Lowe or David Bowie here***!
I refer to Hilaire Belloc and his book of cautionary rhymes for children, and the line:
" Like many of the upper class,
He loved the sound of breaking glass."
- which has stuck with Conrad for these past 43 years.
Then yesterday Conrad was examining the list of job titles available at the Long Chaundle site of my Yet-To-Be-Named-Employer. Seconds after moving on, he took a call from - Long Chaundle.
This is one of 3,500 sites across the country that could have called, and Conrad is one of 15 staff who might have taken the call. Odds of 52,500 to 1.
Not only that, today there was an intranet article on - Long Chaundle.
Long handle. Close enough |
Then again, Conrad was dealing yesterday with a Case, involving an employee we shall simply call Euphronius Glandersnatch^. Later that day he took a call from a manager, about an employee called - Euphronius Glandersnatch.
There are 75,000 employees who might have been referred to, and again 15 staff taking calls, which works out at odds of well over a million to one that I would take that call.
Phil? Are you there?
"Mr Dick is currently unavailable, having been dead for thirty years. Mr Bowie will be glad to sing for you, however." |
"Annabelle"
Seen in The Metro, and with supposedly sinister dark design about the advert, this - Conrad presumes - is an horror film, released especially at Halloween.
A doll with a bad paint job? |
Here are Conrad's Rules For Dealing With Dolls Of Terror:
1) Take a hammer. Bash doll to bits.
2) Put bits in bag. Add large dash of lighter fluid/petrol/chlorine triflouride
3) Set bag alight. Toast marshmallows.
4) Put ash in grey bin. Remember to put bin out on Thursday evening.
Or, if you are the proud possessor of a wood-chipper:
1) Put doll in chipper. Press "On" button.
A bell. Easily confused and far more terrifying |
Just to be a bit different, here's a dinosaur:
Elasmosaur. |
Elmo saw us |
* No so very different to today, hmm,?
** A dead language that's still alive, another zombie by definition.
*** Go Google for the connection, you idle popinjays.
^ Not his real name.