The Wonders Of A Wet Weekend

No Disporting In The Sunshine!
     No, one stays indoors and works works works.
     Conrad skipped lightly out of bed this morning <poetic licence, informs Mister Hand - Conrad actually lurched heavily off the mattress, narrowly avoided tripping and blundered into the door> at 8 o'clock, with a song on his lips <Lies! - Mister Hand> okay, songless.
     "Why so early?" I hear you enquire, "because with a face like that you need all the-" yes, thank you for your candour!

Yes, Conrad, the truth can hurt!

     Because I had to take the car in for an MOT inspection.  After dropping it off at the garage I tootled along to Waterstones - didn't buy anything - then The Works - got a couple of discounted large-format hardbacks - and a shop called "Cex" which retails cut-price second hand DVDs and games.  Then it was off to the library, and copious note-taking from The Kraken Wakes - only 15 pages left to annotate, hurrah!  Rather disappointingly there were no new Christopher Fowler "Bryant & May" novels, so I got a collection of short stories by Dorothy L. Sayers featuring that aristocratic sleuth Lord Peter Wimsey.
     Then!  Back to the garage and a £1,600* bill.

It's a big bill, close enough.

Something Smells Fishy Here
     Yes, Coincidence strikes again.  Conrad settled into a chair once back home from town, the better to let Edna cover him with a light layer of slaver whilst she did the dog-disco around him.
     You will recall, gentle reader, that I was banging on about TKW earlier in the week and how Wyndham never knew of undersea hydrothermal vents on the ocean bottom.  What is playing on television as Conrad begins to dissolve under Edna's assault?
     Why yes, coverage of hydrothermal vents - "black smokers" in this instance.

Black smokers.  Sorry, couldn't resist!

A Small Job Of Organising
     Conrad lords it over the cupboards in the Moderately Safe Kitchen, usually organising the contents by simply shoving new bags of nuts or tins of yeast in at the front of the shelves, using brute force to make them fit, and his other hand to ensure nothing falls out.  Although this works in the short run, it does tend to leave a kind of catering flotsam at the back of the cupboard.
     So this afternoon Conrad grasped the nettle and sorted out the cupboard

Before

      There was a packet of Vegetable Suet with a Best Before date of 2004 lurking in there!  Not to mention a pack of Dumpling Mix from 2009, and a Cheese Sauce tub from 2010.  Ruthlessly Conrad binned stuff until:

After.  Yes, it IS tidier!  Cheeky beggars ...

Otiose
     Anothe in our series of unusual and or exotic words that BOOJUM! introduces and analyses for your eduction, dear audience.
     "Otiose" - well, it is obviously - obviously! - a dish from the Balkans, a type of porridge made with barley groats, bulgur wheat and plenty of salt and milk, served in the morning to shepherds as they go out to take their flocks to pasture.
     What's that?
     It's not?
     It must means "useless"?
     Damn!  Reality, I wanted some otiose porridge for breakfast tomorrow!

You know what?  I've changed my mind.

The United States Of Fried Chicken
     We are all aware of the fast-food restaurant chain that calls itself "Kentucky Fried Chicken".  Today, walking up Yorkshire Street, Conrad espied another such establishment that called itself "Florida Fried Chicken".

Obviously.  Think of "chicken" and you think of "Rhode Island**"

     Hmmm, mused Conrad - free to muse as he didn't have his i-pod playing - would that work?  Surely a peninsula like Florida would tend more towards fish and seafood, rather than chicken?
     A few hundred metres further up the road, what is there but - "Montana Fried Chicken".

See?  Conrad not hallucinate

     Oh come on now! scolded Conrad.  Internally, not out loud, don't want people to stare.  Surely Montana is noted for it's herds of cattle, not chickens!
     What next in the interests of differentiation?  "Alaskan Fried Chicken"?

Light Blue Touchpaper ...
   I am currently reading ER Hooton's "War Over The Trenches", a detailed analysis of the use of air power on the Western Front from 1916 to 1918, by all the combatants, with lots of statistical tables.  Interesting stuff, in an area Conrad is very hazy on - for example, Ted (as he is known) mentions French aircraft attacking German balloons with "Le Prieur" rockets: Le Prieur rockets?  Comme c'est?  A resort to Google produces this:

State-of-the-art for 1916!

    Yes, they look like a larger version of the explosive projectiles that small idiot youths like to destroy the peace with on November 5th.  The Le Prieur was electrically operated from the cockpit, so the pilot didn't have to crawl out onto the wing with a lighter, lest you wondered ...
     Not so toylike - Ted mentions that in that particular attack, 6 out of 8 German balloons were shot down.

Anna's Rum Run
     Er, yes, the sister's Pavlou did sample the bill of fare at some Edinburgh hostelries last night - however!  Tomorrow is really the issue.  If, during the Edinburgh Marathon, you see a couple of attractive young ladies dressed as dogs, with signage indicating that they are raising money for The Dog's Trust - that's Anna and Georgina.
     Donate.  
     Or there will be trouble.

There they are!  Right there! 

*  We were lucky, it could have been £6589
**  USA in-joke.  Rhode Island = a state in the US.  Rhode Island Red = chicken variety