- but why risk your precious vole collection?
Conrad is now free, free to - I was about to put "write, free from the presence of Edna" but here she is, trotting into the Upstairs Lair as if she owned it. She can't sit on my lap whilst I type - this stool eliminates all lap.
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| Those legs are angled at 45 degrees |
Right! Edna now secured behind closed doors in the lounge with Dogsitter Daughter.
Oh bum. My notebook full of inspirational scrivel* is downstairs in the lounge, too. Hang on -
- Got it. From today's notes we have -
Tapioca Flour
Tapioca.
Mr Hand, an appropriate picture, please:
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| "A delicious low fat food?" One of those words is Wrong! |
It is easy enough to get rice flour, and potato flour. Not so tapioca flour. You have to order it from online suppliers and it's expensive. So! mused Conrad - why not use tapioca and blend it into flour?
Not so fast, because it's not so easy. The food processor gets it down quite small, but still lumpy enough to make anything you bake a genuinely gritty eating experience. Try eating a sandwich smeared with sand and you begin to get the picture.
Now, however, Conrad has a mortar and pestle. He's going to process the bejesus out of that tapioca, then, when it thinks it's had all the hell it can take, he's going to grind it to a quivering powder**!
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| Mortar and pestle, meet your victim! |
Conrad Invented Another Word
Firstly there was "Logorrhea", a condition defined as "incoherent talkativeness" - recall Spud in "Trainspotting", off his box on (illegal!) drugs and being interviewed for a job. Like that, except incoherent.
Then we have "Blogorrhea", a condition defined as "incoherent posting" - recall about 311 previous posts on this blog going on about tanks, alien spies and why the warthog is really rather wonderful.
Blogorrhea. Webster's Dictionary, you have a new entry for the 2015 edition.
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| Dictionaries are boring. Here's a high-speed sausage making machine instead |
Yes, gentle reader, Conrad dons the apparel of a film critic in order to provide you with an objective, impartial, well-balanced - ah what the heck, who am I kidding, he sticks a bamboo skewer into films to show which he likes or dislikes. Today, dear reader, there is a theme. See if you can spot it!
FILM FIVE WORDS
Robocop Gratuitously violent, satirical gun fest
Robocop 2 It tried. But still "meh"
Robocop 3 Who on earth approved this!?
Robot Monster Gorilla suit with diver's helmet
I, Robot Nothing to do with Asimov
Robot Jox Giant robots pummel each other
Robot And Frank Robot and BANK ROBBER Frank!
<pause for refreshments>
This Worries Me
Over at the BBC website, hallowed touchstone for news as it ought to be reported, there is an article about this:
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| What the well-dressed Martian will be wearing |
Dammit, Hom. Sap! Can't you simply stay in one place? You're making it a lot harder for your future lords and masters to subjugate you! Don't you know <Mister Hand intercedes to avoid a 5,000 word rant on the topic of interstellar invasions>
So - Tanks?
Have you been good? Well, can you prove it? Did you read BOOJUM! yesterday?
Oh go on then.
Take a look at this:
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| Water tanks. Get it? They're tanks, and - oh you do. |
No, this isn't a drastic method for testing if the tank's sealing and flotation is up to scratch, no it isn't anything to do with being amphibiuous, no it's not an April Fool's stunt. This tank is one of a big batch (notice the others parked up behind the walls) that are being deliberately dumped into the Gulf Of Thailand. Their metal carcasses will then become home to assorted marine wildlife, principally coral, establishing an artificial reef on the ocean floor.
Sorry, can't think of any relevant pun.
* Another word I made up - a compound of "scribble" and "drivel". O Conrad so clevah!
** Yes, I know this is going over the top, but come on - grinding tapioca. Allow me some poetic licence!
*** Although that would be pretty damn cool in itself.
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