You Might Well Mistake This Intro
For an item on that very out-of-character film helmed by Sam Pekinpah, 'Convoy', which mixes comedy and 18-wheeler trucks with gay abandon, featuring Kris Kristofferson, Ali McGraw and - yahboohiss you rotter! - Ernest Borgnine, in a role you'd expect a British character actor to take. For all that, it was the biggest-earning film Ol' Sam directed, thanks to tying in to the CB radio craze of the time, and Kris taking his shirt off. Art!
Nobody is killed, shot or blown up. Bummer.
Or, you might expect Conrad to go waffling on about one of the desperate convoys run through a gauntlet of air and submarine attacks to re-supply Malta during the Second Unpleasantness. Go Google Operation PEDESTAL and rejoice that you never had to crew one of the ships in said convoy.
HOWEVER - 1st use today - we are talking about land-bound convoys as in 'Convoy', not marine ones, yet conducted as part of a military effort. Thanks to 'AfricanStalingrad' of Twitter for putting up an illo of an original document. Art!
I have asked if it's okay to use this photo and will wait to see what answer we get.
Let me elucidate a few points here. This document is one produced by the British Military Police, who were responsible for traffic control, amongst other things. It begins on the 3rd of April 1943 and ends on 21st April 1943, when the campaign in Tunisia, where the action was, had less than a month to run. Let me put up a map drawn by that splendid draughtsman Jack Coggins, showing the whole of the Tunisian theatre. Art!
Le Kef is just to port of dead centre, and you can see it's a hub for roads, tracks and railway, making it an important logistics and transport node. Art!
This is a photo-reconnaissance picture showing how hilly and mountainous Tunisia is, and the chain of little black dots happens to be a convoy, except an Axis one in retreat, NOT having proper dispersal between vehicles, which makes them vulnerable to air attack. Art!
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| The consequence of tailgating |
Now, who do you suppose is responsible for checking on and maintaining vehicle dispersal, especially when roads converge in a constricted urban area? Why the MPs do, usually to no great appreciation from any drivers who come under their beady-eyed supervision. Art!
This is a British infantry brigade, ostensibly at about 5,000 men when at full strength, and their 447 vehicles, which were travelling during the hours of darkness past this control point, meaning the MPs would be watching for unsafe headlight use, speed and spacing between vehicles to prevent collisions, which are a lot more likely in the dark. Cannier drivers would paint rear axles on vehicles with white paint, allowing better judgement of distance with little or no headlight use. Art!
This is the South Canadian 9th Infantry Division, which took a total of 24 hours to pass through Le Kef over three days, and no wonder when you total up the number of vehicles: 2,325 of them. Getting on for 100 passing per hour on average. In real life, as both Alan Moorehead and John Foley relate, the head of a convoy would be tooling along at an efficient 15 m.p.h. whilst the vehicles at the tail would be frantically hammering away at 30 m.p.h. in order to catch up. art!
The South Canadians look like under-equipped lightweights when compared to a British armoured division: 4,300 vehicles in total. These will constitute tanks of various sort, self-propelled guns, trucks by the hundreds, artillery tractors with limbers and guns, anti-aircraft guns, tankers for both petrol and water, armoured cars, scout cars, engineering vehicles, Bren Carriers, jeeps, staff cars, signal vehicles, HQ vehicles and perhaps a few enemy vehicles 'acquired' en route. Which the MPs might impound, the spoilsports, as well as controlling traffic flow, an absolutely essential function given this many vehicles moving through a small town never designed for 20th century military traffic. Art!
A British convoy on the road into the city of Tunis itself, by which time the Luftwaffe and Regia Aeronautica had abandoned North Africa and fled to Sicily, so there was no risk of an air attack. BUT if you were traversing an MP control point they might be very cross with you.
Conrad Is Conscientious
I have been cooking more recipes from my 'Ukrainian Cookbook', and ticking them off on the Contents page, because I'm sad like that. Can't see myself making a few of them, though: 'Fried Brains' doesn't realllly appeal as I wasn't a zombie the last time I looked, and 'Blood Sausage' where you harvest the red stuff doesn't appeal either, as I wasn't a vampire the last time I looked.
However - a word you simply knew was coming - I did manage a Goulash this afternoon. Art!
One supposes that it has spread in popularity across Easter Europe from it's home in Hungary, and here it is. Hearty fare that would feed four people.
I also made Zucchini Fritters but scoffed them all before getting a photograph. Sorry*.
On the other hand, I did manage a batch of Pickled Mushrooms quite handily. Art!
They were surprisingly easy to make, just marinated in vinegar and boiling water for a couple of hours after a quick zap in the microwave.
Conrad, Still Being Conscientious
For reasons I cannot really fathom, Your Humble Scribe watched the 2020 apocalyptic disaster flick 'Greenland' on Amazon, and made notes on the action unfolding on screen, as well as my thoughts about plot holes and goofs. Did I make notes. Art!
The amount of condensed material here, many millions of times larger than one of our Earthly libraries - no, sorry, that was 'Forbidden Planet', wasn't it? There's a lot of notes there, meaning a blog five times longer than normal and all about 'Greenland' were it to be typed out. You may get a staged release, and such portions of the Krell science as I - NO! Sorry, more FP again. Look to see it covered in serial, with possible diversions to make up Goofs. Art!
Check the release date. 2020, the year of Covid. It was only available in South Canada on video-on-demand and streaming services, where it made $32 million in profit. The net budget was $35 million, so they cleared about $60 million in profit, if not more - hence the sequel. Art!
Even Florida Man paid attention
Up To The Hilt -
In silt. Yes, more advice on how to avoid getting lost in a silt-out when exploring flooded caves, although Conrad's advice is quite the pithiest you will read: don't go exploring flooded caves. Problem sorted.
One thing that 'Rowland's Reef' of British America diving website doesn't explicitly mention is ALWAYS DIVE IN PAIRS. They do mention finding your 'dive buddy' in a silt-out as two bodies are better at searching for the way out than one. Once you locate your buddy, their air bubbles will instantly tell you which way is up. Art!
No, it's not the world's most inaccurate watch; it's a diving computer that shows what depth you're at, how much air you have remaining and how long your dive has taken. You need this information before attempting to get out of the sinister silty scenario. Above all, remember the advice of that keen amateur cave diver Douglas Adams -
Finally -
Only an hour ago I finished making Pork Belly Stew, to use up carrot and onion and dill, and a whole slew of Pork Belly before it went slimy and possibly inedible. No pictures yet, you may get them tomorrow.
Pip pip!
* But not very.
