Don't Panic
You may be able to tell from Conrad using 'Russians' that this is not a contemporary description, and indeed goes back well over a century, so Natalka and Special Kherson Cat need not worry about orcs on the doorstep. You see, back in the mists of time, the region known as 'Galicia' was part of the Hapsburg empire and had been for centuries. The Poles and Ukrainians who lived there tolerated rule from Vienna rather than liking it. Art!
Since it was part of the Austro-Hungarian empire, place names were Germanicised where possible, leading to the naming of the city of - Art!
- 'Lemberg'. Things have moved on from the map shown above, with 'Cracow' now known by the Polish 'Krakow'. 'Tarnopol' is now 'Ternopil' and 'Przemysl' still goes by the same name. 'Lemberg' got transliterated to 'Lvov' when it was part of the Sinister Union, but in 1991 it became 'Lviv'. So that's half our title explained.
Our allies the Russians - O how strange it is to type that out! - faced two foes on the Eastern Front when the First Unpleasantness broke out: the Teutons, who always outclassed the Russians, and the Austro-Hungarians, whom the Russians always outclassed in turn. Art!
That's the Hap-Hap-Happy Hapsburgs, tooling around their fortress at Przemysl, which was a series of forts rather than a single one. I hope I'm not foreshadowing too much here.
ANYWAY by September, a month after war had been declared - no silly nonsense about 'Special Operations Of A Military Nature' here - the Russians decisively defeated the Happys at the Battle of Lemberg, and then moved into occupation of the city. Which they now called Lvov, to the confusion of all, especially the Poles, who called it 'Lwow'. Art!
Nicky Dva paid a personal visit to the city, to see his newly-conquered LIBERATED I MEANT LIBERATED lands, their citizens and architecture. The - er - 'acquisition' of Lemberg was but an interim step for Russian territorial aims, which were to advance as far as the Carpathian Mountains. You know, the old 'Russia knows no borders' and all that guff. Deep and strong, as I remarked.
Behind the scenes the Russian occupation authorities were making changes to bring Lviv/Lvov/Lwow/Lemberg <delete where applicable> into true conformity with Mother Russia. Art!
This is the Russian's military governor of Galicia, Count Bobrinksy. Possibly appointed because he wanted the locals to count in Russian, read in Russian and write in Russian, the Ukrainian language being banned. Hmmm sounds kind of familiar .....
Bobby also got rid of any pesky Jews who might be loitering around, any dangerously clever Polish intelligentsia and forced businesses and shops to put up signs in Cyrillic instead of Roman. The region went onto Russian time and the Russian calendar, which was deliberately designed to be different, just for shizzles and giggles. Worship had to be in the Russian Orthodox Church and any portraits of the Hapsburg monarchy needed to be exchanged for the Romanovs instead. Art!
General Aleksei Brusilov, one of the best Russian generals, who commanded their 8th Army in the advance to the Carpathians. Remember the visit by Tsar Nicholas II that got mentioned above? Brusey could not understand why it had been allowed, as the Russian yoke lay lightly and uneasily on Galicia, meaning a visit by the Tsar risked protests or assassination attempts. 'Twas not to be, Nicky was only around for a few days, which was a shrewd move. Bolder than hiding out in a bunker for weeks on end. Or is that unworthy of me?
ANYWAY AGAIN what I meant to focus on in this Intro was the Russian advance upon, and repeated besiegement of, the fortress town of Przemysl. Except that there's so much to add, on even a whistle-stop narration, that the whole blog would be this Intro. We shall definitely come back to this, it's an interesting turn of affairs.
I bet you can hardly wait.
Przemysl has been hit with a missile
A Syrup Of Fig On A Two-Legged Pig
Conrad is slightly distracted by the distant sound of fireworks - no idea why they're being let off - and what might be an owl.
ANYWAY ANYWAY 'Syrup of fig' is Cockney rhyming slang for 'Wig', and golly gosh, who do we know that's so vain about their appearance and lack of hair that they'd resort to one? O I thought you'd never ask! Art?
From the 'Daily Express' of 6/8/26, what seems to have happened here is that the rotors of Marine One have thrown down a bit of chop, causing Donnie Dorko's Hair Helmet to rear up in the mini-tornado, revealing just how bald he is. Art!
David Pakman's Youtube channel used this as a thumbnail. King Piggy's Hair Helmet has now been glued back into place with industrial-strength hairsprays made of epoxy resin and cyanoacrylate. This means that his hairdressers need to use hydrazine and chlorine trifluoride to render it soft and natural at the end of the day.
Fat Caligula must have been pushed by the above to make a decision about having a mat of hair woven into his remaining tonsure. Art!
From 'Meidas Touch' on Youtube and one of the most unflattering photos of Pumpkinhead I've ever seen. He looks to have aged 10 years overnight and sports a double-chin that overflows his collar as if it were expanding yeast.
The Yeasty Be Not Beasty
Conrad's third batch of ginger beer, made using a different recipe, is finally settling down, with the fermentation tailing off, instead of ending abruptly. I only need to release the CO² once in the morning now, instead of multiple times during the day. Art!
Thing is, since they contain alcohol, I cannot consume them during the Summer of Sober, unless I reallllly push the boat out for my 65th next week and pour out a cheeky glass to chill in the fridge. One thing I do notice is how much less lees there is at the bottom of each bottle. Possibly to do with the Cream of Tartar?
Bruce On The Loose
Bruce Pennington, that is, the sci-fi artist as promoted on the Youtube channel 'Sci-Fi Art'. I did a little digging and he's still around, if getting on a bit - 82 at last count. No word on his hair. Art!
Possibly one of the most famous illustrations he ever did. It must be at least 50 years ago since the cost is down in both shillings, the old LSD* currency, and pence, and only 60p at that. All the elements of 'Dune' are visible here: a spice Harvester, ornithopters, Fremen on the sands, and another displaying their trademark blue eyes. Art!
I've no idea what the story is behind this edition. The Dick novel has drugs in it, and that's about any similarity there is between the two. Ah. A little digging reveals that cheap-bottom publishing houses re-used covers to save paying for a new cover illustration, despite the re-used one having absolutely nothing to do with the novel.
Finally -
I've baked a cake for the first time in months and months, so am now going to see if it's cool enough to cut up and put in a tin. Blueberry and Soured Cream Loaf, if you must know, and I do have a photograph that I cannot be bothered to load up tonight - it being Sunday, working on Tuesday's blog.
* Wash out your filthy minds! 'L' stood for '£' or 'Librae' for 'Pound' in Latin. 'S' for 'Solidi' meaning 'Shilling' and 'D' was for 'Pence', or 'Denarii'.
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