By The Terrible Punning Illo I Have Put Up
Which, if Art will get off his waffle-patterned derriere -
Cart rubble
It makes more sense when read aloud. Yes, we are going to be getting to 'It's Like A Sports Car Part Two' in due course, but since I'm not sure how much I can pad it out, Your Humble Scribe is going to be leading with a bit of motor misery for the myrmidons of Mordrovia. Current info courtesy of 'Jay In Kyiv'. Art!
The return of the fuel queue, this one being in Archangelsk up in the far north of Mordorvia, 1,400 kilometres from Ukraine, and if this persists for another month those drivers are going to be queueing in sub-zero conditions with snow to boot. Art!
Coming to you from Rostov-na-Dron, "Rostov gdye est benzin" so you now know the Ruffian for 'Rostov is out of petrol'. Missy here is complaining that she has a wedding to attend, except her car is almost out of petrol and none of the petrol stations in Rostov have petrol, so the wedding party is going to be one down unless she can siphon a neighbour's tank. Art!
This is in Smolensk, which is 735 PROUD IMPERIAL MILES from Archangelsk, and thank you for posting, 'Anarcchist-35'. You might want to prepare for the FSB to visit for a little chat.
Why the sudden return of fuel queues? Well, the Ukrainians never stopped hitting Ruffian oil refineries, leading to the orcs needing to - not a sentence you probably expected to hear - importing petrol into Ruffia. Now from Morocco and India. The latter is hilariously ironic. Art!
The Indians are acquiring cheap Ruffian crude, as they won't buy it without a hefty discount, then refining it into petrol and selling it back to Ruffia at a healthy premium, because profits come a long way ahead of political alliances.
Shortages may also have been caused by Ruffian 'refineries' - using that word advisedly - stopping the production of Euro-2 and Euro-3 standard fuels, which had 15 and 50 times the permitted sulphur level. This 'Donkey ****', as the orcs dubbed it, could be produced far faster than proper petrol, causing shortages to drop. Until orcs realised it was destroying their car engines.
ANYWAY talking about car engines segues us back into 'It's Like A Sports Car Part Two', where Car-l explained that the Pontiac GTO he won from Klutzy Kar Ken had a new specialty engine added, worth $45,000 on it's own. Art!
An engine. Don't ask me what sort.
Car-l calculated that the Pontiac itself was thus worth about $65,000, because KKK came back with a $100,000 lawsuit, that being the total amount he had taken out in a bank loan for his car and mods. If you punted that much for it, KKK, you ought not to have casually wagered it in a trackside bet.
The case against Car-l is deemed frivolous and binned after he spent all of $500 on it.
Then comes the countersuit, for Car-l (and his Winning Wifey) are business owners. Car-l has 4 of them and reckons his hourly rate to be $1,800 per hour, with WW only (!) earning $300 per hour. They are determined to make KKK regret he ever crawled out of his hole and slandered WW. Art!
They file for PPOs - restraining orders - plus defamation plus legal fees plus loss of earnings, totalling $18,000. When attending court they use the GTO, which KKK witnesses and narrowly avoids stroking out due to rage, also managing not to say (for which read 'shriek') anything. You may think this displays self-awareness - you'd be WRONG. WRONG. O so wrong!
You see, KKK insists on a hearing in court, which the judge allows, listening with interest to his threats and aggression and claims of being about to lose his house and how he was 'forced into the bet' thanks to 'fear of violence' in a rant that goes on for 15 minutes. Art!
Why didn't the judge intervene? I think the legal concept 'Sui sibi gladio hunc jugulo' applies here, literally 'I slay this man with his own sword' or 'Giving him enough rope'.
You see, Car-l's cars were all fitted with Blackvue Systems camera and audio, a system I'd never heard of before but which records inside and outside the car, with audio, over a 270ยบ span. The footage was played back in court, displaying KKK's accepting the bet without any quibbling, then his 15-minute shrieking rant about how WW got lucky, and finally his unprovoked sucker punch of Car-l. Art!
View the Vue
End result: Car-l and WW get three-year PPOs granted against KKK. as well as a $5,000 settlement. Not $18,000 but not chickenfeed either. KKK is also found in contempt of court and having committed perjury. He gets a $3,000 fine - and a week in prison. This is long enough to give him a permanent record, which may compensate for the missing $13,000. No mention of a Mrs KKK so he may not have a marriage to risk.
None of the parties aforementioned had any problems with fuelling their cars.
Progress Report
I like to keep you informed. Conrad watched and annotated Episode 13 of 'The Great War', which makes me halfway through the whole series. The episode dealt principally with the Somme, although Italy and Russia make guest appearances. Art!
It's that man again!
Once again no credits given to the various Talking Heads, with one Ocker veteran being allowed to swear quite vehemently against the Teutons. Before the watershed in 1964, what on earth is the world coming to, questions raised in Parliament, 'The Times' posts an editorial etcetera etcetera.
More Ungentle Shoeing
We continue to provide you with a valuable service in displaying what the Big Orange Oaf Himself looks like in reality, rather than in a carefully-monitored studio environment. Of late he seems to be deliquescing - not a word you expected to see today - when in public and attempting to speak without slurring or blanking. Art!
Cherish every pixel! From Youtube and 'Farron Balanced' on 12/08/2026. He looks like a sentient ham knuckle. Or he's having trouble grasping the concept of the ballfoot game's offside rule*.
Bring On The Bruce
From the ghastly to the ghostly, we return to the artworks of Bruce Pennington as selected for the Youtube channel 'Sci-Fi Art', which concentrates on pictures of sprouting potatoes NO ONLY TESTING pictures of things that are not nor cannot be, except in an artist's mind. Art!
Saturn again, at an angle, as this gives one a view of the rings from a more impressive angle than edge on. Viewpoint is one of the moons, in what seems like a canyon that recedes to the horizon, flanked by Bruce's usual baroque terrain, and I hope you noticed the tiny human figure just off-centre. Art!
Now you know why there was so much space in outer space. Hello to the novel title. Conrad is unsure which bit of a Saturnian satellite encapsulates 'infinity', surely a map of galaxies would be more apt? Actually reading the precis makes it sound verrry complicated, what with time travel and alternate realities and sprouting potatoes**.
A Role Model For The Ages
There is now a 'King Of The Hill' WD40 special edition can available, but only in South Canada if I'm correct. Art!
I would be tempted. Hank is a thoroughly decent chap with a sound moral compass, if perhaps a bit of a dinosaur in today's world, a situation Conrad can thoroughly understand. Hang on -
<sad face> no, restricted to Home Depot in South Canada.
Bah!
Finally -
I need to finish and post this, the cloud layer dispersed earlier on, making it ideal weather to walk the woofer, if only other woofer-walkers abstain. However, a load of cumulus seems to be oozing it's way into the heavens o'erhead, so - haste must be made!
* In essence, it's to stop players loitering at their opponent's goal at the opposite end of the pitch in hopes of catching a long ball.
** Perhaps. Prove they aren't present.
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