You Might Well Be Forgiven For Imagining Conrad Meant -
One of these, as they are a 747, which is not called a 'Jumbo Jet' for nothing, in the colours of the now-defunct Brannif Airlines, which was a bit of a gimmick, and these things at close range on the ground can hurl a car hundreds of metres if the driver is stupid enough to get behind the active engines, which correlates to extremely loud. Art!
Unfortunately for all you aviation buffs out there, the real focus of this Intro is considerably less charming than the above, being the Bloaty Bafune Biffer Boy, Donald Jehosophat Trump himself. Art!
I realise this may trigger any MAGA members who read this, which is a risk I'm willing to take. No, we're not dabbling in Politics, this chump is only Prez in his own head and even Newsmax have given up repeating his lies. $743 million dollars is a heck of a wake-up call, quite beside $2.7 billion, which is what Smartmatic are belabouring Fox with.
ANYWAY, as Marcus Cicero appositely said many centuries ago, "The sinews of war are infinite money", and you can amend that to apply to South Canadian politics, where the party with the most money generally wins.
If you want a contrast, the Ice Cream Bandits are now sitting on a potential campaign fund of $130 million, which is by any standard an enormous amount, as opposed to the Wizard Lizard Gizzards, who are down to $8 million. This may perhaps be to do with having a convicted criminal fraudster in charge of their funds*. Art!
Rick Scott-free
ANYWAY back on track. DJ Tango's fund-raising apparati are called "Political Action Committees" and there is little oversight or control over what people raising funds via PACs can do with them.
Cut to the Federal Election Commission. This is a body of the South Canadian government that oversees, monitors, audits and analyses election funding, and there is no two ways about it: you HAVE to notify the FEC about your political money. If you do not, people like the IRS and the FBI begin to take a very close interest in you and your doings.
So, we now know, thanks to the FEC filings for February, that DJT's "Save America" PAC raised a total of $8,508 in January. This PAC is primarily used by DJT to pay his legal fees.
Ooops. Art!
"Give me all your money! I need to -"
Their outgoings in January were $4 million, with $3 million going on lawyers.
In total, DJT raised $8.8 million in January, but hold hard a moment before you wave any flags and throw confetti, because he also burned through $11.5 million. Here's a partial breakdown:
PLACED MEDIA (TV ADS): $470,000
AUDIO-VISUAL AT EVENTS: $820,000
VIDEO PRODUCTION: $600,000
TRAVEL: $550,000
POLLING SERVICES: $450,000
LAWYERS: $830,000
GRAND TOTAL: $7,212,000
These vendors are going to get their payment in advance if they have any smarts, because otherwise they risk getting stiffed by Fraudy Fatso.
You may recall that Farron Cousins was mentioned earlier this week, saying that DJT may be out of cash by July if he continues this burn rate, and with only ('only'!) $27 million in funds remaining, you can see why.
But wait! It gets worse! Art?
You see, the paperwork for that civil fraud trial under Judge Engeron was filed as of 23/02/2024, which means the Toxic Tangerine Toad has 29 days to file an appeal, which means he now has to come up with $455 million dollars as a bond for the appeal or in payment of the disgorgement.
He's also on the hook for $111,000 interest PER DAY. or an additional $3,333,000 by the time the bond or disgorgement is due. If he makes a successful appeal, please bear in mind that the original defamation case of last May is still undergoing the appeals process, nine months later. Were this to be the timescale for his appeal, this would add another $30 million onto his disgorgement payment. $485 million!
He may be a billionaire on paper, yet having to pony up this money is going to grab him by the wallet, where he feels hurt the most.
Bring on more popcorn!
The Haul
Conrad simply had to order a couple of books from Naval & Military Press, because they were going at quarter-price and even with P & P I saved nearly £40 <wallet makes muted muttering noises>. Art!
These will be an interesting read, because the aphorism that supplies of "Beans, boots and bullets" are essential to any army is absolutely correct. I've had a quick scan at the photographs and Bibliography and you are undoubtedly going to get the benefit of my perusal at a near-future date. Art!
Here I should point out that, until the Second Unpleasantness, the First Unpleasantness was commonly known as "The Great War", in the sense that it was large and terrifying, not our contemporary 'jolly good!' reading. As a minor task to pass the time whilst the chicken thighs were roasting, I counted how many of the works in this catalogue I already have.
O dearie me. Thirty-nine of them. Quick, Art, change the subject!
Sorry, couldn't resist that "Rage" volume. Bob Woodward is a legend amongst journalists, especially in the investigative field, and it was only £1.99. Conrad does not count on keeping it once finished, just so we're clear. Art!
This puppy is a bottle of black ink, which I need thanks to the current bottles I have being years old and half-empty to boot. It cost a swingeing £10 so it had better last for several years itself.
The Pedantic Hair-Splitter Strikes Again!
You know Conrad by now, or you ought to, for only slavish devotion to BOOJUM! is going to save you from either the uranium mines or the organ-banks when I take over. Art!
Conrad not remotely bothered about what this concerns. I have a metaphor to mash!
NO!
For heaven's sake, don't web editors bother to check their underling's copy any longer?
Let me point out that a hot air balloon stays aloft - you may be ahead of me here - thanks to the HOT AIR that fill it. Art!
A balloon filled with helium needs to be sealed to prevent the lighter-than-air gas from leaking out. Art!
"City In The Sky"
We've had thunder, and lightning, and rain squalls, and an inrushing tide. Or - is that really thunder?
The wok glowed white hot and bitter, scalding metallic fumes burst from
it as the gold lining boiled off and reflected the thermal beam backwards. The Doctor dropped it a fraction of a second
after pointing it and still burnt his hands.
His clothing, boater and hair gave off a thick cloud of steam and his
nose felt as if he’d been sniffing nitric acid.
His primitive reflector only reached an efficiency of five per cent. Still, this was enough to melt fascias, burst
seams and crack linings on the flying eye, and it fell heavily to earth,
suffering more damage as it hit.
In seconds Mike had pounced, sticking the barrel of his police-shotgun
into a narrow breach uppermost on the eye and letting off a solid metal
shot.
A small victory, since the other Lithoi craft remained out of reach and
therefore mostly out of sight. Several
giant blooms of steam and discordant shattered glass fell over the deserted
township as remote operators sought to avenge the destruction of their first
airborne craft with the surviving second.
At some point in this thermic barrage Denny went missing, never to be
seen again. As with Brogan, no trace of
him was ever found, and the memorial in the cemetery used an ancient pre-Big
Crash photograph that flattered him by fifty years.
Patience, pilgrims, patience.
What Air Defence Doing?
I couldn't leave the anniversary of the Special Idiotic Operation without mentioning that the Ruffian air force is getting an absolute shoeing at present. I think the total is now up to 9 aircraft lost within a week, including a very, very expensive AWACS A-50 that rocks up at about £150 million per. Art!
 |
| A-50 NATO codename 'Plummet' |
That's not including the 17 crew, who are now ash and vapour. It takes years to gain the experience to man one of these beasts.
The other problem is that the Sinisters only ever built a handful of these back in the late Eighties; two were sold to India, one was damaged last year and another one shot down last year. Since there were as few as 5 in working order, this is quite a mishap. You see, the Ruffians simply cannot bear the thought that the despised 'khokhols' shot down one of their most important and expensive planes, so -
"We shot it down" is now the story. "We, us Ruffians, not the effete and backward 'tufties', those barbarians from Kiev. Us! Proud Ruffia!'
This is not quite the flex they think it is.
Conrad, being sardonic because that's so him, joked on one Twitter account that perhaps Budanov and the SBU had bribed an S-300 missile battery to shoot down another A-50. Art!
Well, would you believe it, Ruffians on Telegram are now floating this as a genuine theory. Can you facepalm a facepalm?
There are other claims. The Ukes say they managed it with a re-purposed S-200 SAM, a vintage - okay, okay, an antique - piece of kit from the Seventies, which certainly has the range.
Other people are saying it was a Patriot missile, which supposedly doesn't have the range, except once again the Ukes may have re-purposed and gimmicked one of their Patriot batteries, because one thing the Ukrainians are good at is improvising.
Quite a few people have been gloasting about it having been a Dutch-donated F-16, especially the Dutch**. Art!
NNNNNNEEEEEYAAAAWWWW eat Sidewinder Ruffian scum!
<in Ukrainian>
Or an F-16 using it's radar to spot for Patriots.
Or an Unmanned Aerial Vehicle mounting air-to-air missiles.
Would it be bad taste to bring in more popcorn?
Finally -
Blimey, that item above was only supposed to be a few sentences long. How prolix I get when lambasting the Ruffians. Art!
Bunker Grandad will be unhappy. Once again, bring on the popcorn!
* Every word true!
** MH-17 casts a long shadow still.
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