You Can Make A Case For This
After all, Iceland - or 'Island' as they call it in Icelandic - has been around for a lot longer than Ol' Georgie, both as a geological entity and a nation. It's the only nation on Planet Earth that gets bigger without invading and occupying it's neighbours, which is good news for This Sceptred Isle as I think we're the nearest to them once you start paddling across The Pond. Art!
I'm sure I don't have to tell you how - O I do? Well, okay.
You see, Iceland sits above an enormous amount of magma, and is also providentially atop that point where the North American* and Eurasian tectonic plates meet. These plates are moving apart at a rate of perhaps up to 0.1 millimetres per day, or 0.0082 inches in Imperial. Verrrrry slowly. Nevertheless, they are moving, which creates vulcanism across Iceland, which is a mixed blessing. 'Mixed' because, as you would expect, having a volcano erupt in your back garden is disconcerting to the max, yet said subterranean activity also allows the Icelanders to utilise geothermal power. Free energy! Art?
If you recall, Conrad covered the eruptions of Mount Marapi and Etna last year, and had an idea of also covering the Icelandic eruptions at a near-future point. That was until the eruptions kept - well, erupting. Clearly there needed to be an editorial pause for them to slow down or stop.
At this point we can point out that Ol' Georgie's piece de resistance, "Game Of Thrones", was partly shot in Iceland. This is due to the landscape, which Conrad contends is made up of all the bits left over after the rest of Planet Earth had been assembled, and it's winter weather is predictable, intense and wintery. Art!
Picturesque, yes, and also pretty bleak if you have to spend 18 hours a day filming there.
ANYWAY there have been three distinct eruptions on the Reykjanes Peninsula since December 2023, meaning that I can add-in a photograph of the area taken by satellite, if that Neanderthal sloven Art can be prodded out of his nest with a fish-fork.
If this isn't the sterling definition of "A Song Of Ice And Fire" then I don't know what is. This here is the most recent volcanic eruption of the three, which have been trending westwards along the peninsula, meaning that they're heading away from Reykjavik, the capital. This does, mind you, put the geothermal powerplant at Svartsengi at risk, as having lava flood your distribution network of pipes might discommode people a tad. I say 'trending' because volcanoes are not inherently predictable beasts and you may end up with one where least expected or wanted. Art!
Historically, there is evidence that volcanic activity from the peninsula worked it's way north-east and encompassed the area where Reykjavik now proudly sits. Yes, it was a thousand years ago - but still, unpredictable beasts. Moreover, the last sustained period of volcanic activity lasted from the Ninth to the Thirteenth Century, or, if you like, from the time of Alfred The Great to Richard The Lionheart in This Sceptred Isle.
You might be looking askance at Iceland - or "Island", as they call it in Iceland - as a holiday destination, which is fair enough, because as a tourist in a hired car, this below is not reallllly what you want to see. Art!
A story for another time. As related by George R R Martin, perhaps?
"JINX"
Time for more philology, pilgrims. This word came up on one of our Team Chats yesterday, when Conrad was expressing puzzlement about how quiet it was, and was promptly cautioned "Don't jinx it!" by Fallon.
My trusty Collins Concise defines it as: "An unlucky force, person or thing". Where does it originate? O I thought you'd never ask! From the Dutch "Jynx", the classification name of a bird; the Wryneck. Art!
This itself is derived from the Greek "Iunx", the wryneck again, which was used in magic. Okay. Did they then pluck and roast it afterwards? Seems a shame to let it go to waste.
You Have To Be Kidding
Conrad came across an incredible animation on Twitter** earlier this week, which made him pinch himself to reassure that yes, I was awake and no, I had not been drinking. Art!
Goes well with volcanoes
This, gentle reader, is an "Earthquake Bed" and WASH OUT YOUR FILTHY MINDS! is intended to protect the sleeper from earthquake damage or death. You can see the sequence start in upper port, where matey is copping zeds sleeping. Sensors in the bed then pick up earthquake tremors and whip the two-piece mattress apart in upper starboard. At lower port the sleeper is being dropped into the protective chamber, and at bottom starboard the armoured top slides into place. Art!
The base contains supplies such as bottled water, first aid kits, gas masks and a transmitter that broadcasts to rescue teams. No mention of a chemical toilet.
You, too, can purchase one of these life-saving pieces of bedroom furniture from £4,320.
Conrad wonders what the passing of heavy vehicles that cause perturbations would to.
The obvious omission here is - what if the earthquake happens when you're not in bed?
"City In The Sky"
Here comes the flood, to quote a Peter Gabriel lyric.
Billy got to see a tumbling wall of water sweep over the hillock’s
beyond the town, a brownish-grey flood that raced onwards towards them. It didn’t seem very high or dangerous until
he witnessed branches and rubble being swept along in the murky tide, and it
didn’t slow down appreciably until it hit the town outskirts, hitting and
sweeping aside trees and bushes and small dunes until it smashed up against
them. He glanced at his odd companion,
who smiled blandly, nodding. Not
bothered at all – either they were safe where they were or Doctor Smith had
scrambled egg for brains.
And then the wave arrived, washing past either side of them on the roadway
in a sudden gush full of dangerous debris, sweeping around the corners of their
protective house up to their ankles.
Billy had expected a surging torrent able to knock him off his feet, and
instead his tyre-sandals got sodden and filled with dirty sand.
‘These houses disperse the wave,’ explained the Doctor. ‘Like a breakwater. Ah, splendid!’
Billy didn’t realise what the fuss was about; then again, he felt as if
Doctor Smith had half-a-dozen plans on the go all at once and didn’t bother to
tell anyone what they were. He bent to
untie a sandal lace, and a restraining tug on his arm from the Doctor’s daft
umbrella handle stopped him.
‘Keep your shoes on. You don’t
know what that tsunami dredged up from the bottom.’
Prescient words indeed. Just you wait. You'll see.
Bring On The Popcorn In Wheelie-Bins
Perhaps I should indicate exactly what a 'Wheelie-bin' is for our Non-British readers, the poor benighted folks. Art!
With human for scale
To what am I referring? Matt "Eddie Munster" Gaetz", the excrement in human shape who got off scot free last year after the South Canadian Department of Justice failed to indict him. Ol' Matty had gone so far as to retain a high-powered and very expensive team of lawyers whose speciality was sexual cases, whom never got to practice their craft in court.
Ol' Matty must have breathed a tainty sigh of relief at this.
HOWEVER! and yes that use of Upper Case is justified, the House Ethics Committee is now investigating him and has been since last year. Earlier this week they took written evidence from Joel Greenberg, Ol' Matty's "wingman", who is now serving a ten-stretch for the offences he committed in collusion with his pal. Art!
He looks a bit sick there, doesn't he? That's because the HEC is not a judicial body and doesn't need to go to trial, they can strip him of his office and expel him from Congress, which they did with that crook Santos. Ol' Matty was one of the only people to stick up for Santos. Gosh, I wonder why!
Another point is that Gaetz is widely loathed within the Wizard Lizard Gizzard party and a lot of their lawmakers would have a party with cake and champagne if he got expelled.
Watch this space and bring on more popcorn!
Finally -
We are waaaay over count, so I'm going to go off and Google "Cooking with lava".
Good night and God bless.
* Yes yes yes, I'm using this because "South Canadian" would be confusing.
** None of that "X" nonsense here.
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