Burn Baby Burn

The Theme Song For All Flamethrower Operators Globally

We shall have to be careful here, as a certain R. J. McReady is apt to turn up when the blog topics mention fire in large quantities.  We love him to bits, honestly, it's just that he brings an air of singed fur and dubious vapours about him.

     What I wa

"Where's that shapeshifting mofo!?"

     No, no, RJ!  Not here - ah - you could try Sale Water Park, which just so happens to be on the opposite side of Manchester.  Wouldn't be a problem for a trained experienced chopper pilot like yourself - 

   <sound of receding footsteps>

     Phew!

     Where were we?  O yes - flamethrowers.  I don't bring this up from out of nowhere, it was the subject of a video on 'Ordnance Lab', where they usually concentrate on blowing shizzle up.  This time it was burning bizzle down.  Art!

     It's a brand name, in case you were wondering.  It did rather catch my attention as I thought they might be experimenting with a Chlorine-Trichloride Self-Igniting Projector, which, if it was ever built, would be the most dangerous hand-held weapon ever devised <goes glassy-eyed at the prospect>.

     Art!

     Their very necessary legal disclaimer.  Because there will be idiots who do try this at home in the kitchen instead of in a distant field at a hundreds yards away.  On to the flamethrowers.  Art!

     This is the smaller PulseFire model, which matey says can mount a picatinny rail, meaning you could, if the wild and fanciful notion took you, hang it beneath your M-16.  Whilst this might be (barely) legal on the battlefield, it is unwise to test the law by doing so as a civilian.  Art!

     This hot ticket item is the LRT, a larger model.

     Our Hero Presenter points out that the folks at Exothermic do have a sense of 1) Morals and 2) Litigious South Canadians, because the battery and pump systems of both flamethrowers only allow them to use a petrol/diesel mixture.  You CANNOT put your home-made napalm mix in them and have them work - although Conrad can guarantee this will be seen as a challenge, not a safety precaution for some people.  Art!

     Here Sean comes out with a classic line: "Beer and flamethrowers don't mix".  As you can see, he is clad in Flame-Retardant clothing, FR gloves and sunglasses, so he is at least paying attention to not becoming a small meaty equivalent of The Wicker Man.  Art!

     What every arsonist really needs.   Whilst Sean was burning collected detritus on the ground, the wind shifted and blew flame back at him.  He skipped back pretty handily and made the very apt point that if he hadn't been wearing his FR gear, he could have got a flaming petrol sunburn.  Art!

     Here you see the Pulsefire in action.  It has a slightly shorter range than the LRT.

     Conrad has watched the whole video and the only reason Sean gave for having, wanting or needing a flamethrower is to burn off 'trash' - brushwood and grasses.  Hmmmm Conrad not entirely convinced.

     Of late, there have been people squawking on Quora about 'Why don't the Ukrainians use flamethrowers when fighting trench-to-trench?  That would clear things out quick smart!"

     Manpack flamethrowers are heavy and awkward is one reason, and the best you could manage whilst wearing one is a palsied jog.  They don't have much endurance and you can guarantee that every infantry weapon within range would make them a first priority.  Art!

     Plus they don't have that much range.  You'd need to get really intimate with the opposition.

     Although in one of Conrad's MSS - quite by coincidence set in Ukraine - the Ukrainian army does find that flamethrower-equipped BTR4s are hot stuff at destroying zombies, as the only thing the walking dead fear is fire.

Another Scamble

If the demise of FTX and Binance being in big legal trouble did not warn you off the combined scam and gambling nature of cryptocurrency, perhaps this titbit will help you to make up your mind.  Art!

     This is Alex Mashinsky, former CEO of the crypto currency entity Celsius, which has now reached room temperature in terms of body heat.  If found guilty he is looking at decades behind bars.  The charges against him include lying about how safe investing in Celsius was, the business's profitability, the risks of depositing with them, and lying about how their artificially high return rate could be sustained.  They are due to pay Uncle Sam back $4.7 billion after a negotiated agreement; and before they pay that they have to reimburse the investors they ripped off.

     Caveat emptor!

The Evocative Shot

This one is subtle, understated yet impressive.  Art!

Courtesy HazeGrayArt

     "What Will Our Moon Look Like In The Future?" is the title of this brief clip.  Here you see both lines of the demarcator, with bright sunlight drowning out any signs of human habitation; on the dark side, however, you can see a widely-scattered array of lights denoting Hom. Sap. sitting comfortably.  Makes me think "The Silent Sea" is more of a possibility than ever.

"City In The Sky"

In search of human denizens of an apparently deserted London, the Doctor and Ace encounter a trio of rapscallions hiding in the Tube.

     ‘ ‘oo are you?’ aked the old lady.

     ‘Travellers from a long way off,’ explained the Doctor.  ‘We’ve only just got into town and, wouldn’t you know it, there’s not a soul about.’

     ‘Yeah, it’s dead up there,’ added Ace, drawing a grim smile from the man.

     ‘Just you wait.  It’ll get a lot deader,’ he muttered to the minestrone.  ‘Nan, is that soup done?’

     ‘And since there’s nobody about to explain things, I wonder if you’d mind telling us what’s going on?’

     That got their attention.  All three stared at him, the pensioner sighing and tapping her temple.

     ‘ ‘e’s mad.  You dunno what’s going on?  Mad!’ she mocked.

     Shrugging and smiling apologetically, the Doctor waited.  Nan began to pour soup into three mugs.  The man looked up at the travellers with his expression slowly changing from dislike to disbelief.

     ‘You dunno about the war?  All them lot in Asia blowing themselves up?’

     ‘Not a thing,’ said the Doctor brightly, even if his stomach did flip.

     The man cursed, laughed a short barking laugh and looked back at both travellers.

     ‘Nooklar war,’ said Nan.

     ‘Ah,’ responded the Doctor, gravely.  The man levered himself upright with the steel bar.  He didn’t quite come up to the Doctor’s height but his build spoke of big muscles.  He stared at Ace and then back at the Doctor.

     One way to catch up on current events, I suppose.

"Judge Dredd: Total War"

Conrad re-read this trade paperback for the first time in years.  In fact so long ago that I'd completely forgotten everything about it.  Art!

     It's not for the faint-hearted.  One wonders if South Canadian comics would ever dare print a story like this one.  It concerns the fanatically anti-judge terrorist/freedom group Total War, who have smuggled nuclear warheads into the Big Meg.  They threaten to detonate them one at a time until the Judges leave the city for good.  All two hundred of them.

     SPOILER ALERT!

     SERIOUSLY, HERE BE SPOILERS

     The death toll is enormous.  Yes, Total War are tracked down and wiped out, after the event, leaving a very bitter taste in the mouth.  Art!

     As I say, I doubt Marvel or DC would publish something as bleak as this.

Finally -

Now up to Page 350 of "Jonathan Strange And Mister Norrell" and still only 1/3 of the way through it.  Definitely won't be keeping once finished.  

     Okay, off to the kitchen for FOOOOOOD!  Also, tomorrow is payday.  Yes, they pay me to chit-chat on the telephone all day long, which is a lot harder than you might imagine if talking is not your bag.  And it's not Conrad's bag.  I shall console myself with the thought of £££.