Anti-Ruritania

The Hyphen Is Important

Because who on earth could possibly harbour ill-will towards the tiny Central European nation ?

     Of course - obviously! - it doesn't exist, but waaaay back in 1894, when the miscellany of Central and Eastern European nations was pretty much a closed book to inhabitants of This Sceptred Isle, it could have existed.  I am speaking, obviously - of course! - of "The Prisoner Of Zenda", which came out in the year thus named.  Or numbered.  Choose which you wish, I really don't mind.  Art!

     The novel was immensely popular and has been filmed at least three times.  It prompted a trend in the arts for fictional Central or East European nation states, including BOOJUM! because the Sanjak Of Novi Pazar has long been subsumed into first Yugoslavia, and now Serbia.

     Well, hopefully that sets the scene for Ruritania, a place one would enjoy visiting with it's dramatic forested heights, unspoiled scenery and medieval castles, not to mention the local apricot brandy.

     We now come to Anti-Ruritania, land of the Norks, and from the bitter, twisted smile that I type that word with, you know we're not talking Norwegians.  No, we are talking North Korea, the impoverished bottom-hole of Asia.  It recently hosted Shoigu The ****, who was sent there to hopefully acquire Nork weapons.  Art!

     Let us be malicious and hope that he succeeded.

     Here an aside; the Ukrainian General Staff, as well as the SBU, get down on their knees at night and offer thanks to the good Lord aloft that their second most effective weapon in the war is still running the Ruffian war effort (Putin being the first).  Shoigu is an incompetent of the first water, with no military background, no military training, no sense of shame and whose only talent seems to be embezzling 50% of the Ruffian defence budget.

     What did I mean by that crack about him succeeding?  Well, that means another aside.  Is that okay?  Thanks.

     It seems that the Wagner Group had been supplied with Nork weaponry and ammunition, which the Ukes over-ran.  In a Greek-meet-Greek scenario, they are now firing Nork-supplied Grad rockets at the Ruffians, whilst standing well back, as the rockets are forty years old and very unreliable.  They frequently misfire or fail to detonate on impact.  Still, the irony is amusing.  Art!

You're a bit close there, matey, if anything goes wrong

     Back to the Norks.  They have recently lifted the total blockade imposed because of COVID, thus allowing Shoigu to visit among much pomp and circumstance, and to make himself look slim and trim by standing next to The Only Fat Man In Korea.  Honestly, he looks like a broom-topped beer barrel.  Maybe that's a bit harsh?  A polishing-brush topped beer barrel.  There, fixed it for you.

     You can't say that people are trying to get into Norkland, unlike Ruritania.  Far from it.  From Conrad's extensive two minute research, it seems that 7 South Canadian soldiers* defected to the Norks, with perhaps that many civilians.  That's about one every six years.  Not surprising, really, the whole country is a miserable slave labour camp that suffers periodic starvation, famine and cannibalism.  That embarrassing hotel, the Ryugong, in Pyongyang, is still to open after 36 years.  Art!

A Ruritanian castle would be better

     Or it may not.  That was eleven years ago.  Given their shoddy quality assurance with military technology, I wouldn't trust the lifts in this thing.

     O and another thing - Shoigu turned up during the Norks 'Victory' celebrations about the end of the Korean Unpleasantness, another load of bloviating guff which avoids mentioning that the Norks didn't win in any meaningful sense - although the Chinese propped up their war effort - because the two countries are still technically at war.  Art!

     Talking of propping up, the Populous Dictatorship tries to keep the Norks afloat, because one of Xi Jinping's (a.k.a. "Winnie the Pooh" due to the beer-barrel wearing a suit factor) least favourite events is a general collapse of the Nork regime, which he presumes would send 30 million starving Norks across the border.  It probably wouldn't be that bad; if they were starving they'd not be able to walk very far, would they?  And a lot would be closer to the Sorks than China.

     So, then.  The land of Norks.  Where it is equally as hard to get in as to get out.  What does Ruritania have that the Norks don't?

     Hope!

Unhappy Bunny Is - Unhappy

My my, it's not shaping up to be a good week for Darth Marmalade.  He had, with high pious hopes, sued CNN for defamation, because they used the phrase "the Big Lie" about his claims of a stolen election.  He wanted $475 million in compensation, in a case which a judge dismissed on Friday.  The judge said Trump's case was a  "stacking of inferences that cannot support a finding of falsehood."

     Or, in plain English, a bruised ego does not equal defamation.  Tee hee!  Art!

     Conrad confidently predicts that DJ Tango will refuse to pay his legal team because he didn't win.

The Death Of A Thousand Cuts

An interesting cultural moment occurred on Friday, which has gone un-noticed amongst most Western media; Ukraine officially legislated that Christmas will now be celebrated on 25th December.

     Why is this newsworthy?  Because it marks a move away from the Ruffian traditional celebration on 7th January, and is a measure of how much the Ukes want to look westwards, rather than follow the traditions of their repellent neighbour.  It follows on other traditional days being moved from the old Ruffian date to a new one.

     Mark Conrad's words, within my generation the Ukrainians will be using the Roman alphabet, not the Cyrillic one.  Art!

Dimya daydreams about getting up close and personal with Prez Zed.

It's Official

I did warn you.  "Sound Of Freedom" has hit the $140 million mark, thus making back ten times it's original budget.  They only get a percentage of the box office (40%?) but if so then that's still $56 million, or four times their budget.

     It's still popular - 'legs' in the trade - and will rack up even more.  Art!

     It's good to see Jim Caviezel doing well in a film.  I remember him in "The Thin Red Line" aeons ago.  O, that distant weeping?  Phoebe Waller-Bridge crying into her G & T that Indy 5 hasn't made the equivalent $3.5 billion.

     

"City In The Sky"

The Doctor is having a guided tour of Arcology One, less officially known as the 'Branson Mansion'.

     ‘Lots of greenery,’ commented the Doctor, drily.  He knew the reasons why.

     ‘Yes, for three reasons.  First, as you know, they absorb carbon dioxide.  Secondly, even more importantly, they photosynthesize and produce oxygen.  And lots of them are edible food crops.’

     There were stands of trees, small copses, pines, firs, shrub oak, maple – all engineered to grow to an apparent maximum height of three metres.  Apple orchards, pear trees, cherry and olive trees in neatly-maintained clusters.  Virginia pointed these out across the inverted hemisphere.  Bamboo, hemp and alfalfa grew in dense, fenced-in areas with only a narrow cruciform of tracks leading into them to allow access for harvesting or irrigation . 

     ‘Harvested for textile and construction?’ guessed the Doctor.  Virginia nodded and began to walk slowly onwards, leading her “guest”.  The path beneath their feet looked like cork, and yielded.  When he bent to peer closely at the material, it turned out to be a treated plastic.  They used a lot of plastic here.  Doubtless recycled it, too.

     To their right, a small stream ran along a dark-grey artificial bed.  The Doctor craned to look at it, and asked if they could span a small bridge that reached the other side.  He spotted occasional dark holes in the stream bottom.

     ‘Let me guess – those holes lead to a pumping system that circulates the water, preventing stagnation?’

     Conrad is unsure why you'd need scrub oak or pines on an orbiting space station.  Yes, I did write this, but ages ago, so you can't blame me.  And even if you do - whose blog is it?

Finally -

I think I am fated to walk into Lesser Sodom tomorrow, as we are running short of Discreet Doggie Doo-Doo Disposal Devices.  Which is probably bordering on too much information.

*  One 1963 defector turned up in 2005 in Japan with his wife.  He was given 25 days in jail, probably because living in Norkland for decades was punishment enough.