BOOJUM!: Spurned!

Just Not How You Expected

Conrad caught sight of a side-bar item on the BBC's News webpage, that fount of all that's fit to be writ, about houses that vanish. Art!

Well done, Art. This is an illustration that would make for an entire blog. Put a pin in it.

Actually that's rather misleading, because the house above was 'vanished' thanks to someone taking it apart with a JCB ('Backhoe' to our South Canadian readers). The item I looked at was about houses falling into the ocean thanks to coastal erosion. Art!

This is Hemsby, on the Norfolk coast. Thanks to a rise in sea level, and an increase in storms, the coast here is being worn away especially rapidly. One tenant's home was originally 130 feet from the cliff edge. Here it is in 2017. Art!

Here it is a year later, after an enormous winter storm. Art!

ANYWAY Conrad was looking at these photos and commiserating with the property owners, when a thought struck him. What's that place in Yorkshire which is a long spit of land with a promontory? Looks like a used Q-tip? Surely, given how long and thin it is, coastal erosion must play a part in shaping it? However, I couldn't remember the name. A bit of internet detective work revealed that it is - Art!

Spurn Head

It's a little hard to make out details in this picture, but as you can see there is housing and a pier and jetty, and two lighthouses. The whole peninsula is three miles long yet only fifty yards wide, with human settlements going back over a millenia.

One of the things about Spurn Head and coastal erosion is that it's what you might call a 'dynamic' geographical feature, not remaining static over time. As one side erodes away, the other side is built up. Art!

As it is now

As it was over time

In more recent times, a big storm in 2013 washed away part of the roadway on the spit, which is always going to be a problem for such a low, narrow feature. Thus there is an area known as the 'Washover' which is under water at high tide - we may have featured this years ago when BOOJUM! covered the UK's tidal islands. Art!

High tide on the Washover

I should not need to say this, but I shall. Attempting to cross the Washover at high tide is SUICIDALLY DANGEROUS, as the warning signs inform travellers. Over time it's possible that this stretch will be permanently washed away, meaning that the local council may have to lay in a few millions to invest in sea defences. Time will tell.

You may also be wondering why Spurn Head is greedy enough to have two lighthouses. This dates back to the 18th century, when both a 'low' and a 'high' lighthouse were constructed. Art!

This is the Low Lighthouse, which was constructed to the west of Spurn Head, which meant it, unlike it's predecessors that faced all the force of the North Sea, remained intact. When it was decommissioned, for reasons peculiar and knowable only to Yorkshire folk, the light was replaced by a large water tank. Art!

Yes yes yes, I know exactly what it looks like. Art!

ANYWAY there are no pictures of the old High Lighthouse, only the one that was constructed in 1895, painted black and white and, as the name implies, founded higher than it's estuarine counterpart. Art!

Finally, Spurn Head was an obvious place to situate a military garrison in order to control the Humber estuary. There are fortifications still extant, which are only barely visible in the main photo I put up. The Yorkshire Wildlife website does have a monochrome picture of one site. Art!

Typical utilitarian military architecture. There is more of this, so I'll call a halt to today's Intro. Hopefully you found it interesting!

Conrad - The Very Sad Man

Of course - obviously! -, I wear that badge with pride. You see, I was re-reading one of the stories in "Lord Peter Wimsey: The Complete Short Stories", to wit, "The Vindictive Story Of The Footsteps That Ran", where the murder is solved because Lord Pete notices a bowl of dripping, and discovers the murder weap

ANYWAY he mentions in passing " - the ghost of Hamilton Tighe", which, obviously - of course! - is bait Your Humble Scribe cannot pass up. This is one of the problems of reading stories that are eighty or ninety years old: what was common knowledge in terms of pop culture then is an utter mystery nowadays. Art!

As you can see, Hamilton is slightly embarrassed by having his head removed by a cannonball, thanks to his treacherous captain pushing him into the way of a Spanish cannon. Ham's evil stepmother, you see, wanted him out of the way to collect his inheritance and had bribed the captain. So, his mulish ghost appeared to her and the wicked captain, causing her to confess and he to spill his port, which is even worse.

"Independence Day: Resurgence"

Conrad took a few photographs in order to make a point, that several of the cast members were either well-preserved, digitally enhanced, or they bathe daily in the blood of virgins. Art!

Top picture is Brent Spiner, in unflattering wiggy make-up, and whom is an absolute hoot as Brakish Okun. Next is William Fichtner, who looks as if he's made of teak and Chobham armour and no different than he was 20 years ago. And last but not least, Jeff Goldblum. There's an extra on the DVD of David and his Dad both appearing on a chat show, to the mutual embarrassment of both, and it's Dog Buns! hilarious. I may have to get screenshots for you.

"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor, somewhat surprisingly, is still alive, if also still a prisoner on the bio-vores homeworld. He has just made one of his intellectual leaps of cognition -

"You and Sur and the other aristocrats are the ones responsible for destroying this world's entire ecosphere all those thousands of years ago, weren't you? But you decided to avoid the blame and instead live off the life energy of your fellow creatures. Didn't you!"

Url felt a great weakness hit him, centring on his stomach and knees. How, how, how in the howling hell of the Devil's winds could this alien know such things?

"Oh yes," continued the Doctor, feeling all the pieces fall into place like a computer-controlled jigsaw. "Avoid trying to solve the problems, avoid coming up with solutions, try and export failure to other worlds with your Infiltration Complexes. Make sure your own failure doesn't get analysed or discussed or even mentioned. Ensure that you and yours survive by creating a culture of slaves, slaves bred to be exploited and killed."

Url couldn't speak, his throat choked with emotion, hatred, bile - and fear. Instead he stretched out an arm, pointing, clenching and unclenching his talons.

"Kill me, if you like," continued the Doctor. "But you have sown the seeds of your own destruction."

"SILENCE!" shrieked Url, hurting his own vocal cords with the violence of his shout. "Guards! Guards, take this alien to the Place Of Execution!"

Hmmmmmm that's bad.

Thank You Steve And Oscar

My memory and subconscious, in case you were wondering. They do manage to come up with mental flotsam and jetsam that helps to generate blog content, for which I am grateful.

A few days ago I woke up thinking "Lars Porsena". Well, it seems Steve and Oscar are getting lazy, because we've covered this King of Etruria previously, a couple of years ago, and here's the link:

BOOJUM!: Lars And Gripes Together (comsatangel2002.blogspot.com)

Come on chaps, do keep up! Art?