Back In The Early Days Of BOOJUM!
Because we've been around for nine and a half years now <raises eyebrows in surprise> which is a heck of a lot longer than I ever anticipated wh
ANYWAY we occasionally featured a roster of animals, such as Clarissa The Cannibal Combat Chicken, Frank The Ferociously Farting Frog, and Tony The Ten-Ton Terror Toad. Sophisticated stuff like that. Art!
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| No, Art, that's 'Terror Toad' from 'Power Rangers' |
Where were we?
O yes. For today's Intro to make sense, we have to look at the disastrous introduction of the Cane Toad into Australia. Back in the Thirties, cane toads had been introduced to Puerto Rico in order to have them eat beetles that were destroying crops there. This worked, which was actually something of a one-off, unrealised at the time. So, the Ockers decided to import 60,000 of them to eat the cane beetles that were destroying the sugar cane plantations in Queensland.
Oops. Art!
They were essentially useless at the job, because the beetles infested the tops of the sugar cane and cane toads cannot climb. Yeah, I bet somebody had a red face when that came out.
Things spiralled out of control, since the cane toad breeds all year round and a single female can lay 70,000 eggs per annum. The kicker is, they are EXTREMELY toxic. When threatened, their upper skin exudes a mix of poisons that will kill most animals, and they have poison glands in their head.
Here an aside. There is a practice known 'Toad-licking', where people desperate to get a drug high lick the skin of frogs or toads which exude a defensive chemical with psychoactive properties. Art!
One of the cane toad's constituent poisons is Bufotoxin, which has been declared a prohibited drug with the same seriousness as Heroin and Ecstasy. This is only one of a whole cocktail of poisons they ooze, so licking a cane toad is highly likely to put you into Intensive Care or a coffin.
Next we abruptly switch tracks and introduce the white ibis. Art!
They may have been sacred to the ancient Egyptians, but they are roundly detested by modern-day Ockers, thanks to their greed and general lack of manners - they raid rubbish and will snatch food out of your hand - which has led to them being nicknamed "Bin chickens". Trust the inhabitants of Oz to come up with a catchy name. They come a close second to the cane toad in the list of detested animals.
However - Art!
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| Ibis 1 Cane Toad 0 |
There is now a lot of photo and video evidence of ibises going at cane toads, flipping them over and generally treating them like a rugby ball, before either wiping them on wet grass or washing them in running water, before gulping the unlucky amphibian down whole. The birds have worked out how to make the toad run out of poison before eating it, thus not dying. Other predatory birds such as hawks have learned to flip the toad onto it's back before ripping it's insides out, thus avoiding the poison glands and skin; the ibis is the first example of snaffling the whole thing in one go.
Hmmm good luck, bin chickens, you've got 2 billion of the toxic gits to work through.
The Haul
Hooray! Both the books I ordered came yesteryon, which is good, because I shall be at work tomorrow and unable to accept them from Postie. Art!
You may not be aware, but Korea's history goes back 4,000 years, with periodic interruptions from it's more powerful neighbours, China and Japan. This work is 270 pages long, with a ton of photos at the back. Expect me to be more knowledgeable about Korea in a few weeks.
All this from a Netflix binge!
The Big Scary Man
No! Not Conrad. Not this time, anyway, although admittedly he does look like a murder about to happen.
For background, you are probably aware that Citizen Donald Trump is in a whole lot of legal trouble, with something like ten extremely serious cases against him. The Attorney General, Merrit Garland, has now recused himself from being a prosecutor, because he was appointed by President Biden and Citizen Trump has declared that he want to be Prez. Hence a potential conflict of interest. Art!
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| 'Smiley' Jack Smith |
So this chap has been appointed Special Counsel. He looks about as tender and forgiving as an obsidian scalpel, and one could easily see him playing the bad guy in a Nick Cave-scripted film. He has been involved in war crimes trials at the Hague for the past few years. The Tribble-topped Beer Keg In A Suit is going to have a very bad December, and an even worse 2023. Can you run for Prez whilst wearing a stylish orange jumpsuit I wonder?
"The Sea Of Sand"
We have jumped planets again, getting back to the bio-vores Homeworld (or, as the Doctor dubbed it, 'Wasteworld') as our favourite Gallifreyan and Sorbusa get close to the trans-mat platform.
Sorbusa now had a shard-thrower
and stunner, weapons the sentry had carried.
He offered one to Thedoctor, who refused. Well enough, thought the leader. Two weapons for me.
The
Doctor paused to make some off-the-cuff calculations. The sentry Sorbusa killed had been keeping
watch at the beach, from where it was only a few hundred metres up a shallow
escarpment to the trans-mat platform.
The gigantic pylons were clearly visible from here, on the weedy green
sands. During the slow wade across the
shallows they had seen the warning lights and sirens sound half a dozen times,
at different intervals. Despatches to or
from Earth.
‘Once
you get back to the Infiltration Complex, head for the Factory unit. One of the programmes there is to produce
Transport Cars. If you get on one of
those you can make it back to the supply depot,’ instructed Sorbusa.
‘You
sound as if you aren’t coming,’ commented the Doctor slowly, and with emphasis.
‘I
am coming with you, Thedoctor, most certainly.’
‘Then
we need a way to get onto the platform and off at the other end without being
killed. Any ideas?’
‘Certainly,’
replied Sorbusa. ‘What sources of
biomorphic energy are there at the Infiltration Complex? None.
The Warriors sent there need bottled algae to survive. The greater the numbers of Warriors, the more
algae.’
Impressed
with this extrapolation, the Time Lord grinned broadly.
‘Well
done!’
‘Can
you not bare your teeth?’ asked Sorbusa.
‘It is a sign of aggression in our culture.’
‘I
apologise,’ said the Doctor contritely.
‘Remember that Lord Excellency Bloodsucker Sur will be after us, so time
is an issue.’
Ah, a little cultural faux pas.
Follow That Xebec!
It's featured in the novel "Master And Commander", FYI, and was a small thre-masted Mediterranean vessel with square and lateen sails, much used by Algerian pirates.
And yes, we're back on the sordid saga of FTX again, with a little more detail acquired and presented by Joe Blogs on his Youtube channel. Art!
Sam Bankman-Fried appears to have gifted his parents a £35 million luxury residence in the Bahamas. The trouble is, they don't want it, and alleged that they were trying to return it before the bankruptcy. Both his parents are Professors with prestigious reputations in psychology and law. They are probably cursing the day they got their 'gift'.
Joe also explained that Alameda Research, helmed by SBF's girlfriend, was throwing billions of dollars of investors money into propping up the FTX crypto-currency FTT, possibly as much as $8.5 billions. None of which is recoverable.
Ooops.
Doubtless more sleaze will come to light as the company's finances are scrutinised.
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