The Friendly Enemy

No!  Nothing To Do With Operation Fork

You remember, the British invasion of Iceland, where assorted Icelandic civilian locals looked on with curiosity as their island (yes, "Island" is Icelandic for "Iceland") was occupied by a mighty force of 750 men.  The Icelanders collectively shrugged their shoulders and went on about things, doing their best to ignore the somewhat uncouth intrusion into their lives.  Note that there was no Icelandic underground or resistance movement and their ec

     ANYWAY this intro isn't about that.  I am being a bit sly about "Enemy" because this is the pronunciation of "N.M.E.", which was a weekly music rag in the UK.  Art!

     It's glory days were in the 70s and 80s, where it's rival was "Sounds".  The Enemy was into punk and New Wave,  and Sounds was into metal and prog, and both bickered with and about each other.  Art!

     Got that?  Splendid!  One of the Enemy's journalistic and editorial tactics was to pick a new band and promote them as The Next Big Thing, puffing them up across editions.  If they didn't make it big they were quietly dropped - Ellery Bop, anyone?  If they did make it big then the Enemy would embark on a smear campaign to do them down and generally slag them off.  This would annoy the fans but also generate controversy and publicity and a big fat Letters page.  Should said band be unable to cope with this turnaround, the mockery would continue and might well cause the band or artist to break up.  On the other hand, if they shrugged and moved on (like the Icelanders!) then the Enemy would return to a neutral stance.  Art!

Er - well - okay, kind of neutral

     I'm sure you're wondering where all this is leading to.  Well, I am making a point about editorial policy, because this can change like a weathercock if said editor changes their mind about perspectives.

     Enter Rupert Murdoch and his media empire, as it's usually called.   For your information, this includes Fox news, the Wall Street Journal and the New York Post.  He is immensely powerful because of this, and generally has a finger in all sorts of political pies (I know, I know, a health & safety issue).  The Dirty Digger, as he is unofficially known, has long promoted the virtues of Donald Trump, both before he was Prez and after.

     No longer.  Art!

     We refer here, of course - obviously! - to the children's nursery rhyme.

     Here an aside.  Conrad, morbidly imaginative as ever, wonders if Humpty was uncooked, soft- or hard-boiled?  If he was boiled, wouldn't that kill him?  How can an uncooked egg have sentience?  If he had arms and legs, which is implicit because otherwise he wouldn't be able to scale an obstacle, couldn't those brace him against a destructive impact?  Okay, okay, maybe I'm overthinking this.

     ANYWAY the title above refers to what was expected to be a "Red Wave", where the Wizard Lizard Gizzards would overwhelm the Ice Cream Bandits, which turned out to be a Pinkish Ripple.  Suddenly The Dirty Digger's knives were out for Citizen Donald Trump, because, as I said, editorial policy is a fickle thing, and if you're last year's man, goodbye to good press.  Art!

<stunned silence>

     Wow.  Even the colour is appropriate.

     ANYWAY - thank heaven's for Coincidence Hydra-proof armoured underwear! - Citizen Trump decided that he's going to run for Prez again, which he announced on Tuesday.  Yes yes yes, I know you think this is Politics, well it's not.  How was this announcement dealt with by Fox News?  Art!

     They cut away from it because it was so boring and rambling.  Twenty minutes later they went back, it was still rambling and boring so they cut away again.  Time was, Fox News would hang on Citizen Trump's every word.  How did the Murdoch print media deal with the announcement.  Art!

     "Florida Man Makes Announcement" to save you squinting.  What must have cut Citizen Trump to the quick is that it's on <drum roll cymbal crash> "Page 26".  

     And this, Gentle Reader, is The Enemy Effect.

Doctor S. And His Spaceship Selection

Here the good doctor - he's an astrophysicist you know - reveals his inner kid in reviewing the "Eagle" spacecraft from "Space:1999".  Art!

     These things are as cool as <insert swear here>, because they look realistic.  Dr. S. also approves their design because of the modularity, and being able to swap out central modules for different mission specs.  He downrates them a bit because they are so obviously designed for Lunar operations that atmosphere transit would be dodgy - so they get classed as Enjoy The Ride.  His real enthusiasm was for the toy version of the Eagle, which he reckoned to be one of his very favourite childhood toys.  Art!

Conrad want!

"The Sea Of Sand"

Now for more science-fiction of a different kind.  The Italian Camionistas are having a hard time coping with the sinister alien tanks attacking them.

Discretion bettering valour, Section Three reversed out of trouble, one car firing non-stop as they left at speed, throwing up dust clouds that concealed the advancing enemy.  Despite retreating so quickly, one car still drifted away from the depot, the driver leaning over the wheel and nearly falling out, until the Sahariana stalled.

     The remaining cars from Section Three roared into the main route of the depot, the crews ashen-faced.  

     "What's happening!" asked a driver, bewildered.  

     The officer worked out what forces he had left: seven cars and twenty-two men including himself.  Eleven of the hostile vehicles approaching, armed with weapons he didn't understand.  Given their size, probably carrying either more, smaller machines or - or monstrous crewmen.

     "We ambush them," ordered Dominione.  "Back your vehicles into the aisles here and over there.  Driver, get your car over behind that stack of crates."

     He positioned the other three cars along more of the axes among the supply piles, reasoning that the solid obstructions would prevent the ambushers from being seen.  The last car, his own, would be the bait, positioned at the end of the beaten path, daring the enemy to advance.

     What price Sarah's advice now, Tenente?

An Enormous Number Of Balls

There's no other way to say it.  Special Kherson Cat, now back in their liberated city, put up a short Twitter video taken by a Borc in the aftermath of a HIMARS strike.  Except this was not the usual HE warhead.  O no.  This was the M30A1 warhead, which delivers 180,000 tungsten balls on target.  Said Borc was filming the effect this had on his KAMAZ truck.  Art!

     The glum Borc giving a commentary describes his truck as looking like a company of soldiers were firing canister at it.  Everything is riddled, and as he comments with frequent swearing, is completely useless.  One shudders to think what this terrifying munition would do to people.  Slava Ukraina!

     Ah.  The beautiful blue skies have gone.

Finally -

A rather dim Quoran was slagging off the British Universal Carrier, of Second Unpleasantness renown, decrying that it could only carry 4 people and why didn't Perfidious Albion build something better rah rah South Canada good Perfidious Albion bad and stupid to boot.

     Well, O Witless One, the Carrier must have had some utility, because it was the most-produced armoured vehicle of the Second Unpleasantness: 85,000 of them were made.  The Teutons gleefully fell upon any they captured and used them, and you can find lots of photos of the Red Army using them as reconnaissance vehicles akin to cavalry.  Think of them as a two-ton jeep, instead of a personnel carrier.  Possibly the best conversion made was a Free French one, which sported a 25mm anti-tank gun.  Art!

'Ware Axis