So Hom. Sap. Decided To Up The Danger Quotient
To those of us unfamiliar with the lyrics of "Advance Australia Fair" because we don't live there, and fo - what's that? What are the lyrics to AAF? O go on, at least it'll up the word count.
That's as much as you're getting. Now, Art - if you will.
They have a point. You may well be familiar with classic Ocker killers such as the Funnel Web Spider, crocodiles, sharks, the box jellyfish, dingoes and the tiger snake. That's one snake out of 100 venomous varieties.
You might be less familiar with a long list of invasive species that were mostly introduced deliberately, with disastrous effects. I have already mentioned the Cane Toad. How about the humble rabbit? These were blithely introduced in the mid-Nineteenth century so people had something tasty to shoot at. They breed madly and destroy land, and there are an estimated 200 million of the little rascals on the loose. Art!
But what's this! Why, it's none other than the Red Fox, which was also introduced in the mid-Nineteenth century so people with pretensions could hunt and pretend to be posh. There are over 7 million of them on the loose, which presents a serious threat to native species and farm livestock. Conrad wonders if the rabbit problem wouldn't be worse were it not for the presence of Brer Fox? Art!
"Who, me?"
Plus, you can add the humble Rock Pigeon, which, if Art will get busy -
DECEPTIVELY FLUFFY!
This plague on wings infests most large Ocker cities, where it breeds rapidly and defaces buildings with it's detestable defacations, which are also highly acidic and capable of damaging and eroding stone structures.
Then there are the silent invaders: plants. Like the Alternanthera Philoxeroides, or Alligator Weed. This is now classified as a 'noxious weed' by the Ockers and they hate, hate, hate it. Art!
Unlike the weeds that were introduced as decorative garden plants, this one seems to have arrived on cargo ships. With plants like this there are no niche predators or controls - as with the invasive animals - and it will grow absolutely unhindererd.
The Ockers take invasive species verrrry seriously. I have seen film of the Customs and Excise folks imposing a huge fine on an Indian cricket team because they brought in shoes with extensive dried mud on them. This has the potential to carry spores and seeds into the Australian environment, and they don't want that.
Bruce channelling his inner Remote Nuclear Detonator
Just don't get me started on the Giant Hogweed .....
"Henning Tresckow"
This name popped up in my mind at the weekend for no good reason - thank you Steve! so of course - obviously! - I had to look it up, for I had no idea whom they were. Art!
Very obviously a Teuton officer of Second Unpleasantness vintage.
But that's not all. He was also one of the officers involved in the July plot to assassinate Herr Schickelgruber, and a major mover behind the scenes, networking with like-minded military men.
Upon hearing Schicky speaking via radio in the evening of July 20th, HVT realised the plot had failed, and that any subsequent investigation would reveal his plotting, so he killed himself by the hideously gory method of exploding a hand grenade next to his head.
The Nazis being petty and spiteful, later exhumed his body, cremated it and scattered the ashes and wouldn't tell anyone where. Just about their level.
I Know I Said I'd Not Be Commenting On The World Cup Of Ballfoot
The loathsome corrupt theocratic dictatorship running/ruining Iran must bitterly regret allowing their team to participate after the global publicity protestors got last time they played.
Well, today at 19:00 England were playing Wails, so instead of us in Customer Experience having to stay until exactly 19:00, we were allowed loose ten minutes early. Art!
What was the score? Don't know, don't care.
"The Sea Of Sand"
The Doctor and fellow fugitive Sorbusa have managed to sneak onto the trans-mat platform about to send a transmission to Earth.
- should I do – OH!’ began and
finished the Doctor. The end of the
sledge, a good six feet in length, together with hundreds of bottles, had
vanished. Without any restricting barrier
to hold them back, the bottles he lay upon collectively slid out of the cargo
section, carrying the Doctor with them.
The fall was both painful and embarassing, cushioned only by the fact
that he was now on Earth, off the trans-mat platform, and un-noticed in the
hubbub taking place over his head.
Yes. Earth.
That was the Moon overhead, and that was Ursa Major. They had made the transfer successfully, even
if Sorbusa was missing.
Missing? No, not missing, not if that fracas was
anything to go by.
‘Thedoctor!’
came a plaintive bellow. ‘Flee!’
When the pair
of them arrived at the platform on Earth, Thedoctor would be spotted, tracked
and killed within seconds. Concealment
in the sledge kept the human out of harm’s way for a little while. A minor brainstorm on the leader’s part meant he used the sledge’s mass to deliver
the other escapee over the side of the trans-mat; when the field was activated
anything outside it would not get sent, so when the end of the sledge vanished
Thedoctor would slide out. At the same
time, the abruptly-separated end of the sledge would fall on the trans-mat
console.
Not bad off-the-cuff thinking, mate.
Conrad's Eyes Got As Big As Saucers
We do occasionally bang on about the Vulcan bomber here, because it is an awesome and mighty beast, and seeing a strategic bomber being thrown across the sky like a stunt kite is very entertaining. Thus the following got my attention. Art!
Hang on, let me just check if the Mystery Jets are alright -
Phew, they are, that was a narrow escape!
Finally -
Their Wiki page has it that the Jets were originally based at Eel Pie Island, which Conrad has never heard of before, so he inevitably had to go nosy. Art!
As is clear from the map, access to the mainland is via a bridge, unless you fancy a swim or possess a boat. Art!
Right, I am now off to watch the penultimate episode of "Alice".
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