No, Nothing To Do With Starving Norks
Although yes, that pretty much means the whole of North Korea. I really shouldn't pick on them, because they are the very definition of low-hanging fruit. However, I am as thoroughly evillllll as I am lazy, so The Only Fat Man In North Korea isn't safe at all.
ANYWAY that, of course - obviously! - has nothing whatsoever to do with this Intro, which came into play when Your Humble Scribe was whanging on about Keflavik Airport, which is the main airport in the Icelandic capital of Reykjavik. Art!
Colourful Reykjavik
Let us now abruptly change track and return to 1940, whilst the Second Unpleasantness is in full sway and the Teutons have their sights set on crushing Perfidious Albion, because we are the 750-pound fly in the ointment that is spoiling their enjoyment of ruling Europe.
Perfidious Albion, a nation founded on maritime trade, with a global empire and the world's biggest navy, feels increasingly anxious about the status of -
Iceland!
The island nation, you see, maintains a proud neutrality, even if their ruler was the King of Denmark, a nation now under the Nazi jackboot. Perfidious Albion, displaying remarkable prescience, decides that being Proudly Neutral is not good enough, and that they'd better get their retaliation in first*.
So begins what is probably the least hostile invasion and occupation in history. Art!
"Doctor Goebbels announced that there was ferocious Icelandic resistance to the invading English"
The initial invasion force was 750 Royal Marines, which is ridiculously small given the size of Iceland and it's population. The islanders made formal protests, which were duly noted by Perfidious Albion, and the occupation began. Note that there was no Icelandic army or militia or even armed police to put up a struggle, which perhaps explains the perfidy of Perfidious Albion: if the Teutons had got there first, they'd have experienced nothing more than a walkover (kind of what Bloaty Gas Tout expected in Ukraine). The official name for this underwhelming military operation was "FORK", hence today's title. Art!
Those above are US Marines - yes, they were still using the Brodie pattern helmet in 1941 - who took over garrison duties before South Canada entered the war, which might have salved Icelandic sensitivities a little. Unlike Occupied Europe, the invaders and occupiers didn't need to worry about their throats being cut or supplies blown up, and I haven't been able to find a single casualty of the occupation. Art!
If this seems a little blase, allow me to point out that the Allied garrison on Iceland grew to 25,000 men, and that it's military infrastructure allowed it to support marine and aviation operations in the North Atlantic. The allied occupation forces departed in 1945 after what must be one of the world's most model invasions.
Of course, if the Teutons had been there first in 1940 all it would have taken was a single infantry battalion to completely undercut British marine trade. This is the kind of mathematics that Perfidious Albion, being, y'know, a naval power, understood.
I don't know if any of this gives me first crack at the next Siggur Ros album but you never know. Perhaps Bjork? Or Mum? Even - reaching wildly - Apparat Organ Quartet?
A Scamble
Yes, Conrad has invented another word, this one a portmanteau version of "Scam" and "Gamble" because this seems to sum up the crypto-currency world. I am writing this after a trading exchange called FTX filed for bankruptcy earlier this month. Art!
Ooops
As recently as February this lot were supposedly worth £30 billion. Of course it was a house built on sand, and quicksand at that. Their sister Company, Alameda Research, was discovered to be backed by FTX crypto-currency rather than an independent source. Then the Wall Street Journal discovered that FTX were using customer's investments to back dodgy high-risk deals. A major rival that held FTX coinage promptly got rid of them, which triggered a run and crashed the company.
There are over 900 comments on the BBC's item about this, with the vast majority pointing and laughing, because people who had any FTX crypto-coinage when it collapsed is NOT going to get anything back. Let pompey dave sum it up concisely:
And for the final word:
I'm gobsmacked.
"The Sea Of Sand"
Day has dawned at the Mersa Martuba depot, with nothing untoward having happened.
"Fiat lux," muttered Albert, both arms and hands aching after his stint with the divider. Now they could see more clearly the damage done, and he had to admit, the hours of quiet, patient work had made a big impression.
"Let there be light," agreed Roger. "So far, Miss Smith, we have a big fat nothing to report. No aliens, no black tanks, no attack."
Outside, a siren began to shriek, the same one that the British garrison had used to announce unwanted intruders.
Sarah looked at Lieutenant Llewellyn, raising an eyebrow.
"You were saying?"
From outside came the shouting of alarmed voices in Italian, engines revving, sporadic gunfire and running footsteps.
Dominionne was roused from a well-earned sleep by the hand of a sentry, shaking him. For an instant he lunged at the man, seeking to grasp and crush the windpipe to prevent the alarm from being raised -
"What's going on?" he asked, thickly, regaining his sense of place and realising that the siren overhead was being cranked.
"Sir!" blurted the sentry. "Enemy motor transport approaching!"
The Tenete lurched upright from his seat, rubbing his eyes. He leaned over the back of his seat and threw open the old ammunition box that held his flare gun, cocked it and fired a red flare.
Bet those madmen and madwoman don't seem quite so mad now, hmmm?
"Set In Scotland"
Don't fret, there's only a couple of these pictures left. This time it's 2022's "Batman", which Conrad cheerfully admits he's not seen, and has no idea if it's any good or not. Art!
They did location shooting in Glasgow, thanks to it's extensive Victorian architecture, because that way you put the "Goth" in "Gotham". Dark and brooding, that's what they were going for - yes yes yes, both Batman and the city.
The Struggle Is Real
Discovered a vacancy for a People Operations Assistant in Manchester at Ofcom, and I appeared to have all the necessary skills, apart from the last one: knowledge of Ofcom. So I am boning up on the 'Office of Communications'. Art!
Based in Circle Square in Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell, which I've never heard of before. Better get out the A - Z.
Finally -
With all the wickedness and mayhem present in today's world, it's always a mood booster to come across a story with an amusing punchline. Enter Rosie. Art!
This scamp was being walked in a park by her owners on the 3rd of November, when a nearby firework went off and scared her. She bolted through a hedge and was gone. This happened at 16:00, when it would still have been daylight so no onus on her owners.
Clever doggo turned herself in at the nearby police station. Art!
As you can see from the upper photo, she was wearing a collar with her contact details on. Having calmly walked in and settled down, the police called her owners and Hay Pesto! instant reunification.
* Judge Dredd would be proud of you.
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